


Tearing Away the Veil

by Cornerofmadness



Series: The Veil [1]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel the Series
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-04 16:57:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 53,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16350560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cornerofmadness/pseuds/Cornerofmadness
Summary: The father-son bond is reforged in the fires of unthinkable tragedy as an old enemy resurfaces





	1. Fathers

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer - All characters belong to Mr. Whedon with the exception of Thalia Angelopoulous-Reilly, and she doesn’t earn me a bent dime. None of the poetry or song lyrics are mine either and belong to whomever I’ve credited them to.  
> Warning: graphic violence and detailed forensic descriptions, there is original character death. The rape in the warning isn't graphic but it is there.  
> Timeline - Six years post NFA  
> Author’s Note - written for Kristi’s Post Not Fade Away ficathon on livejournal and originally published Oct 2005. Thanks to Kristi and SJ for the beta

_When one tears away the veils and shows them naked, people’s souls give off such a pungent smell of decay.  
**Octave Mirbeau - The Diary of a Chambermaid.** < _

CHAPTER ONE

“Thanks for offering to help with this, Angel,” Giles said as he and Buffy were ushered into Angel’s Wisconsin home. Buffy smiled at the vampire. She knew Angel had moved to Madison once Connor had done the same. If anyone asked, Angel would say he moved because of all the weirdness in that city. Giles had admitted Angel had a point when the vampire said there was a natural attraction for demons, what with Wisconsin having records of wendigoes, lake monsters, carnivorous kangaroos, a host of fearsome critters and two U.F.O. capitols to top it off.

“Believe me, Giles, I want you all here for this event. I’m just sorry we have to come up with an elaborate lie to get Connor here,” Angel said, his eyes floating over to Buffy even as he spoke to Giles. “Spike’s down in the gym with Illyria, and Lorne can’t be here tonight. He’s got a show.”

Slayer and Watcher nodded in tandem. They both knew that in the years after Black Thorn’s attack and the Slayers’ nick of time intervention, Angel’s team had slowly pulled back together with occasional assistance from Lorne who lived a couple hours away in Chicago, and even more occasional help from Angel’s son. They knew that Connor and Angel’s relationship was operatic in its turbulent drama, which Giles secretly recorded as much as he dared. He was a Watcher. He couldn’t help it. Buffy, on the other hand, didn’t have much restraint when it came to trying to repair that rift, even though she and Angel weren’t lovers and hardly ever saw each other anymore thanks to her nomadic life style. Giles knew better than to get involved with Angel’s relationship with Connor or with Buffy, as did most of their friends.

“Is Connor actually coming?” Buffy asked.

“Actually, I think I hear his car in the drive now,” Angel said, nodding at the palladium windows on the front of his house, all redone in necro-tempered glass with money he had appropriated from Wolfram and Hart. The sun was trying to battle its way out from behind lowering autumnal clouds. “If I know Thalia, she has a ton of food for everyone. Buffy, could you help them carry everything in?”

 

“Sure.”

Buffy met Connor and his wife at the door to Angel’s huge home. The nearly two-hundred year old sandstone structure fit him perfectly. She let the dark-haired caterer waddle past her with a bowl of something that smelled delicious. Connor rolled his eyes towards the station wagon as he carted in trays of food. Buffy took him up on his non-verbal message and went out and brought in the remaining two trays. She got back inside in time to see Angel and Connor fussing over Thalia, who couldn’t wedge her nine-month-pregnant belly alongside the table. Giles stood in the doorway of the kitchen, trying to keep out of the way. Buffy set the trays of food down.

“How are you feeling, Thalia?” Buffy saw the tired look in the young woman’s dark eyes.

“Annoyed that it looks like it’s back to court for me.” Thalia shoved her walnut curls back off her forehead.

“What’s wrong?” Worry filled Angel’s voice.

Thalia waved a hand at all the trays of food. “These are the spoils of the Fikia-Stavropoulous wedding, kicking off today. The bride-to-be called the wedding off right there in the church and I’ve been informed not only do they no longer want the food, they don’t want to pay for it either.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Buffy said, looking at the huge expanse of food. She was no ‘iron chef’ herself and couldn’t imagine how hard it had to be to cater a wedding.

“Tell me about it. Do you know how much work that is? Okay, mostly my helpers did it since I can barely get near the counter tops with this.” She patted her belly. “So eat and enjoy. I know you’ll be very hungry with all the researching and brainstorming.”

“Sweet heart, why don’t you go in the living room? You’ll be more comfortable on the couch.” Connor stroked his wife’s curly hair. “I’ll make up a plate of food for you.”

Thalia hauled herself up, using his arm as a crutch. “I’ll go but please, Buffy, you make my plate up. Connor doesn’t get eating for two doesn’t equate to feeding an army.” She beamed at her embarrassed husband.

Buffy laughed. “Of course.”

Angel got out plates and bowls. Buffy started filling a plate, her own stomach growling. Connor helped his wife into the other room. Buffy glanced over at Angel. “Do they know if it’s a boy or a girl?”

He nodded. “Given Connor’s first experience with fatherhood, poor Thalia’s been through a battery of ultrasounds and tests. No abnormally fast gestation, no horns, tails, or other demonic aspects. He appears to be a normal baby boy.”

“I’m very glad to hear it,” Giles said, plopping a piece of grilled chicken on his plate. “Have they given any thought to a name?”

 

“This is where Giles tells you what a great name Rupert is.” Buffy rolled her eyes.

“It is,” Giles replied, primly.

“If you’re English,” Angel retorted, appalled at the very notion of his grandchild having a decidedly English name.

“And I’m sure Angel is running around telling everyone how great Liam is for a name,” Buffy smiled at him.

He made a face. “It is, but I know there’s no prayer of that.”

“You got that right,” Connor said, coming back in. “Thalia is holding forth on Greek names.”

“So long as it’s not Alexander. One in our group is plenty,” Giles retorted.

Buffy handed Connor the plate and slapped his hand as he went to put more stuffed grape leaves on it. “There’s more than enough food there, Connor. Why don’t we all join Thalia so she doesn’t feel left out?”

Connor smiled gratefully and took the plate in for his wife. Buffy loaded up a plate with Greek delicacies without the first clue as to what was what. She took the time to spoon up some creamy soup that smelled of lemon and, balancing everything, joined the rest of them in the living room. Buffy sat down next to Angel on the second couch. After taking a taste of soup, she popped a garlicky white piece of something into her mouth, along with the bread cubes that were wedged around it on the skewer. “This is yum, Thalia, what is it?” she asked, waving her skewer for easy identification.

“ _Htapodi toursi_ ,” Thalia said. “Pickled octopus.”

Buffy stopped chewing, a horrified expression on her face. She looked around frantically for a place to spit it. She gave Angel a pleading look.

“Just swallow,” he whispered, and she gave him the evil eye, gagging the seafood down.

“I’m guessing Buffy’s not into exotic seafood.” Thalia grinned. “Everything else is a little more normal.”

Buffy held out her plate. “Explanations please.”

“ _Avgolemono_ , that’s a chicken broth, egg and lemon soup.” Thalia gestured to the steaming bowl of creamy soup. “ _Dolmadakia Yialanzi_ , grape leaves around rice, my personal favorite appetizer. _Kota Ouzo_ , chicken marinated in ouzo with melted feta and mozzarella cheese. And for the best part desserts, _baklava_ and _kourambiethes,_ a brandy nut cookie usually for Christmas but people just love them.”

“But nothing else has octopus, right?” Buffy shot her a suspicious look.

 

Thalia grinned more broadly, showing lots of white teeth. “No more octopi.”

“Good.” Buffy got up and dumped the octopus onto Connor’s plate and sat back down. “The soup’s really good though. It has to suck to get stiffed like that after you’ve worked so hard on all this food.”

“She works too hard,” Connor said, putting a protective arm around Thalia’s shoulder.

“Look who’s talking.” Thalia batted at him playfully.

“How is life as a fireman treating you, Connor?” Buffy took a bit of the grilled chicken with its unusual almost licorice taste. “And aren’t you the least bit embarrassed to be wearing that shirt in front of your wife?”

Connor ran a hand over his shirt which read, _Firemen find them hot and leave them wet. <_> “She bought it for me.”

“I think it’s cute, and it’s so true.” Thalia kissed him.

“That’s the kind of thing that leads to that.” Grinning, Buffy pointed at Thalia’s huge belly.

“True, but it was fun in the making,” Thalia said, apparently oblivious to the blush on her husband’s cheeks. It was one of the things the Slayer liked about the caterer. Thalia was vivacious and open about just about everything, a lot like Anya without the bluntness and greed. “So what kind of demony thing brings you to Madison?”

“A strange wolf like creature,” Giles said, skipping right to the desserts on his plate.

“It seems to be menacing people as they drive around on the country roads,” Buffy said, leaning back on the soft leather couch.

“Multiple reports, too many to be ignored,” Giles added.

“And since Angel asked me to help, this thing must be particularly nasty,” Connor said, eating all his octopus without complaint.

“Well, so far the Bray Road Beast doesn’t seem to be truly dangerous but if does inspire a great deal of fear in those who’ve seen it,” Giles said and realized in a second he shouldn’t have added that.

Connor stopped chewing, his jaw tightening. His eyes went stormy grey, flickering between Giles and Angel. “The Bray Road Beast?”

“I thought we could use your help,” Angel said, and Buffy saw how uneasy he was. She knew he had overstepped the boundaries of the father-son relationship, if it could even be called that.

Connor tossed his plate on the coffee table. “We’ve been over this, Angel, you can’t just call me whenever the hell you feel like it. The deal is, if it’s a big problem, I come and help. Otherwise, leave me out of it. You can’t keep faking serious problems and yanking me around. Come on, the Bray Road Beast? That piece of myth has been selling newspapers for years. Even if it’s real, it sure as hell doesn’t need my input on the matter!” He stalked out of the room.

Thalia turned on the sofa, watching her husband go. “Connor, don’t be like this. I’m sure Giles and Buffy could really use your help, even if it is trying to do a little research into cryptozoology.”

Connor didn’t even slow down. Angel followed him out. The sounds of them arguing easily reached the living room. Buffy saw tears glistening in Thalia’s chocolatey eyes. She moved so she could sit on the couch with her.

Giles, seeing she wanted time alone with the pregnant woman, got up. “I should check my emails, see if Willow and the others still plan on joining us here in the next week or so.”

Buffy waited until he was gone before putting a hand on Thalia’s shoulder. “You okay?”

Thalia curled her fingers through her thick hair, nodding her head toward the kitchen. “Not really.”

Buffy’s face softened. “I know you have to be in a bad spot. I’m sure Angel doesn’t mean to provoke these fights,” she said, wishing she believed it. She knew how much he wanted his son back in his life full time. Buffy understood how hard Angel could press. Just look at how they were still dancing around each other. She knew he still wanted her but she was still trying to find herself and wasn’t sure yet that the road led back to him. All she knew it didn’t lead back to Spike, not anymore. He had moved on without her.

Thalia let her hand drop. “I don’t blame Angel. I don’t know why Connor has to be such an ass to his father all the time...no, I guess I do know but I just wish he wouldn’t get like this.”

“I can imagine the stress you have to be under.” Buffy sucked in her bottom lip, wondering just how involved she should get. Who was she kidding? It was Angel so that meant she was involved. “But if you know why Connor’s so miserable when it comes to Angel, maybe you should just tell Angel. I know he has no clue why. He and I have talked about it, and he’s tried everything he can think of to figure it out but he can’t.”

Thalia tried to lever herself to her feet and gave up. “Connor doesn’t want me talking about it, Buffy. It was all he could do to tell me.” Tears rolled down her cheeks. “I’d never seen him like that. My husband is a strong, brave man, and when he told me, he was weeping like an infant. I’m not sure I can betray that trust.”

Buffy got up, hearing the voices in the kitchen getting louder, more violent. “If I guess right, will you tell me? All Angel knows was Connor told him that his memories had come back, like a bad dream and that he was grateful, that he didn’t want to make a big thing about it and after the battle of Blackthorn, Connor suddenly turned. That peaceful moment they had was gone. Was it because the Reillys were killed in the evacuation of Los Angeles during that battle?”

Thalia shook her head. “No. He doesn’t blame Angel for that. He blames himself. Buffy, please, don’t press me.”

 

Both women cringed as several metallic somethings clanked off a wall in the other room. “Can it be worse than this?” Buffy asked.

Thalia put her hands on her stomach. “Connor is just so unreasonable some times. I don’t want to have to lie to my husband and sneak over here so Angel can see his grandson.”

“I don’t think you’ll have a choice.”

“Are those two at it again?” Spike asked, entering the room with Illyria. He was freshly washed, his hair curling from a lack of gel. He had a large bruise on his face. Buffy presumed it was from sparring with Illyria. The demon-king looked unruffled.

“Of course they are,” the Slayer said.

Thalia held out a hand to Buffy. “Help me off this damn couch.” Once on her feet, Thalia waddled over to the kitchen and screamed, “Enough! Connor Reilly, just go out to the car this minute.”

Buffy went over to her just in case it wouldn’t be so easy to break them up. She was surprised to see Connor just drop the heavy tray onto the table at the sound of his wife’s furious voice. Bowls of octopus had been strewn all over the kitchen. She assumed he had been about to beat Angel over the head with the tray.

“Thalia, this doesn’t...” Connor’s voice didn’t even hold an ounce of conviction, and his wife didn’t even have to try hard to interrupt him.

“Look at this mess. Look at what you’ve done!” She gestured at all the food, trembling with rage. “Angel, do you need help cleaning this?”

He shook his head. “It’s okay, Thalia, please don’t get upset.”

“It’s a little late for that,” she snapped, and Buffy felt oddly proud of this young woman standing up to the vampire. “Now you, the two year old who’s pretending to be my husband, you go to the car. Buffy, will you please tell Giles that we’re sorry. Tomorrow evening we’ll be back to help.”

“Thanks, Thalia,” Buffy said.

“And my husband will act like an adult if I have to kill him.” Thalia turned slotted eyes on Connor who had made no move to leave. “Please put the rest of the food in the fridge. You’ll have chicken for days. I’m sorry about this.”

“Don’t worry about it, Thalia. It’s not your fault,” Angel said, utterly abashed.

Thalia saw Connor still standing there. “Shouldn’t you be out in the car?”

He reached for her to help her outside, and she slapped his hand away, moving off without him. Connor looked back at Angel and Buffy was shocked that she didn’t see anger there or hatred. There was simply an emptiness, a void behind his blue eyes that seemed depthless. It felt like drowning, as if she were to look too long, she would never be happy again. And then the look was gone, replaced by shame as he turned and left.

Buffy turned to Angel. “You knew bringing him here without a definite enemy would provoke him.”

“I was hoping it would be different now that the baby is almost here.” Angel’s voice sounded like broken glass, sharp yet fragile.

“You can think about not fighting with him in front of Thalia while you get busy cleaning tentacles off the floor,” she said, turning on her heel. Buffy spun back around, feeling sorry for him and for her own temper. “I’m trying to get Thalia to tell me what the real problem is. She knows, Angel, but she doesn’t want to say.”

Angel didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. His eyes said it all, ‘please, thank you, exhume the truth, stop at nothing.’ Buffy went back into the living room, resolving to invite Thalia out tomorrow and see if she could learn something more.

X X X

Thalia could feel the heat coming off her husband as he drove. She could bake _kreatopita_ in the van from the fires of his temper. She had no fear of that temper, knowing he would never turn it against her but she hated it all the same. She hated humiliating him in front of everyone, wishing she had found a less embarrassing way to bring him back under control. Unfortunately, her own abilities with rational thought and logic had gone off the rails right around the eighth week of pregnancy along with her ability to concentrate. Thank God for Marissa, Alexis and Zoe, her assistants at Angel’s Catering or she would have been doomed.

Connor wasn’t speaking to her, and she wasn’t sure if she should even try to break the silence. He somehow had the reins pulled tight on his temper. If it had been her as angry as he obviously was, she’d be rocketing through the streets, to hell with black ice and other dangers of a Wisconsin autumn. If she weren’t within a week or so of giving birth, he might be as well but Connor had treated her like a china doll ever since he had found out about it; well, after the freak out but once she learned it wasn’t the usual impending fatherhood jitters, and he had shown her a side of the world she would have thought pure fantasy - or a drug-induced hallucination - she understood why he went a little crazy. Still, sometimes his babying of her wore on her nerves. 

Like now when he parked at their painted lady home and immediately got out to come help her out of the van. She felt like swatting him away but given the way she tended to roll around like a Weeble maybe it was for the best.

“I need to get the rest of the trays out of the van. You can take some of the food to the fire station tomorrow.”

He put a hand on her arm. “I’ll get them. Go on inside and rest. It’s been a bad day all around for you.”

Thalia didn’t argue. She went inside, having to trundle fairly quickly to the bathroom. Her son was apparently asleep head-down on her bladder. By the time she was done, she heard Connor in the basement of their nineteenth-century home putting the food in the large freezers there. Thalia loved the big old home, even if it had required a lot of work. Connor had used some of the money he had received from his ‘parents’ life insurance to restore the home. It was conveniently close to the University of Wisconsin and State Street yet private enough to have a nice fenced in yard and a side street that wasn’t too busy with traffic. She would feel safe once little Stephen was old enough to play outside.

Thalia caressed her belly, realizing she had already started thinking of her child by name, a name she wasn’t sure Connor would agree to. There was something in his eyes when she had suggested naming the boy after her grandfather but he wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. Connor was like that, always keeping things inside even when he shouldn’t. She went into the kitchen to sneak a sweet even though she knew she shouldn’t but with today’s various ugly turns of events she needed a treat. She plopped a slice of _siphnopita_ on a plate just as arms went around her. Connor’s cheek pressed against her neck.

“I’m so sorry, Thally.”

She turned in his arms. “I know you are, Connor, but that can’t be good enough anymore. You can’t keep on provoking fights like that. I won’t have it. Now, I’m sorry I treated you like a child in front of everyone but you were acting like one.”

Connor took a step back, looking at her with big, anguished eyes. “Thalia, I ...”

“No, Connor, no excuses. Why are you so blind to the fact that man loves you? I know you think he doesn’t or can’t or whatever it is you’ve twisted it up into in your head but it’s not true,” she said, and he opened his mouth to speak. Her eyes hardened, and his jaw snapped shut. “Connor, only someone who loves you would put up with you when you get like this.”

“I guess I’m lucky you love me then,” he said weakly.

She leaned in as close as her belly would let her and kissed him. “Yes, you are but I just don’t want our child seeing stuff like tonight. Angel is the only grandparent our son will have. I don’t want him to lose out on that, and I don’t want him seeing you and Angel fighting. Can’t you just tell Angel how you feel about it all and try to work things out instead of letting it fester? It’s been years now. It’s not going to get any better unless you try to fix it.”

He bit his bottom lip to keep it from trembling. “I don’t think it can be fixed.”

“Just tell Angel how you feel about being given to complete strangers, Connor. Find out why he did that instead of making Vail cast the spell so that you would simply be happy living with your real family. I can’t believe Angel did it arbitrarily,” Thalia argued, stroking his cheek.

“He’s a vampire, Thally. They can’t really love, no matter how hard he tries.”

She turned away from him, reaching for the dessert. “Do you even believe your own bullshit?”

“Please, I don’t want to fight with you.” Connor put a hand on her back. “I’ll try to not lose my temper so easily.”

“That’s a start.” She took his hand, giving it a squeeze before putting the pie plate of dessert back in the refrigerator. She picked up her slice of _siphnopita <_>and headed for the bed room. She never really liked eating in bed but sitting on the couch had gotten a little uncomfortable. She liked stretching out.

She flipped on the TV. Connor unlaced her cross-trainers and slipped them off her swollen feet while she balanced the plate on her belly. Usually that made little Stephen wake up and kick irritatedly as if insulted that his home was being used as furniture but tonight he slumbered on which was just as good. She preferred not to attempt to go to sleep while he was trying to get ready for the neonatal Olympics acrobatic team. Connor kicked off his shoes and stretched out on the bed beside her. “Anything good on?”

“Not really,” she said, spooning some lemony cheescakey goodness into her mouth. Damn, she was a good cook even if she did say so herself. “ _Stargate_ re-runs on the Sci-Fi channel.”

“You and _Stargate,”_ he snorted. The way he rolled his eyes was so cute and she just couldn’t stay furious with him. She didn’t even want to try. She knew her lover was bleeding so much inside that she could at least try to forgive his occasional outbursts.

“What can I say, Teal’c’s so sexy.” She grinned at him and he laughed.

“If he’s your type then how you settled for me is a total mystery.” Connor sat up and rubbed her feet.

She offered him a spoonful of _siphnopita_ and he ate it greedily as she knew he would. Connor had such a sweet tooth. Anything with honey, chocolate or caramel didn’t last long in the same room with him but he didn’t have the good grace to pick up weight, bastard. She felt like a large blue whale at this point, half afraid she’d roll over and crush him in their sleep. Even if he didn’t gain an ounce, Connor did develop a variety of sympathy pains, even if he wouldn’t admit that’s what they were. She loved him for it.

He swallowed the custardy dessert then leaned in for a kiss. “Do you know how much I love you?”

She smiled. “Sometimes with a ferocity that’s almost frightening.”

His smile was of that ferocious, feral nature, and she loved it, too. “Just what I wanted to hear.”

She popped more dessert into his mouth then polished it off herself, setting it on the night stand. She turned off the TV. “You can be sweet when you want to be.” With her, she thought, with women in general. It was men he tended to butt heads with. At least he apparently behaved himself at the fire station. “And beautiful in your own way.”

His face dimmed. “When I’m not being ugly like tonight.”

She smoothed a hand over his brow. “Let’s forget about tonight.”

“I’d like that,” he murmured, pulling her close for a warm, lingering kiss. “Sweet.”

“Ummm, yes and a little ferocious would be nice too right now.” She reached down and massaged him through the crotch of his pants.

 

Connor’s eyes flew open wide. “Thally?”

She grinned, handling him harder. “Yes?”

“I would have thought today would have you tearing that piece equipment off of me.”

“When you let them do your thinking, I’m very tempted.” She nipped his chin. “But they have their uses.” She stripped off her shirt as he smiled at her. The hormones that had been flooding her system for the last nine months had made for emotional swings but they had almost made for some of the best sex she had ever enjoyed. At least the elastic waistband of her maternity pants made it easy to get them off. Thalia got on top of him. “And I can think of a few uses for them now.”

“It’s still okay?” His ever-present concern for her shone in his eyes.

“Okay? The doctor said it was a great way to get the whole delivery process rolling.”

A worried look flitted across his face. “I’m not sure I’m entirely ready for that.”

“You?” She lifted his hands to her face, kissing his fingers. “Your part in this is over and it was fun. I have all the hard parts.”

His hands slipped hers, caressing her face. “It is good to be a man.” His hands traveled over her sensitive skin and across her belly.

She laughed. “No kidding.”

“Did I tell you today how beautiful you are?”

“It’s always welcome news,” she promised him then found ways to show him how much she loved him without needing words.

X X X

She brushed her long hair out of her eyes. She was so tired. It had taken years for her to worm her way back into an organization rivaling Wolfram and Hart’s power. The _Dawl Irrifletta_ was sort of like the Anti-Watcher’s, an image that made her laugh. She wondered if the Watchers even knew the _Dawl Irrifletta_ existed. The group didn’t have quite the ambition of Wolfram and Hart. For them, it was less about money and more about knowledge, most of it dark and deadly.

She didn’t care much about it being less of a glamour outfit than Wolfram and Hart. She wasn’t about that any more. She had lost too much, had barely escaped with her life. Now it was time to get revenge for what had been taken from her. She had always wondered why Angel had never had the spell to become human performed on him. Oh, it would take him being dusted and brought back like his own sire had been. She always assumed it was the fact that he didn’t trust anyone to care enough to bring him back, until she started researching the spell a few months past. She hadn’t anticipated some of the truly evil sacrifices required beforehand to make the spell work, not that she or anyone in the _Dawl Irrifletta_ cared.

They allowed her to do the spell so long as she took careful notes. All they wanted was to glean what they could from her experiment. That suited her just fine. Everyone would get what they wanted. She checked her watch. It was time to go make a few more observations of the test subject, and soon, everything would be set for the experiment to begin in earnest. She could hardly wait.


	2. Sons

CHAPTER TWO

Thalia tottered back to bed, having had to use the bathroom yet again. Dawn was just breaking and all too soon Connor would crawl out of bed to go to work. She eased herself back onto the warm, rumpled sheets for some last minute snuggling.

Connor reached up a lazy hand and stroked her hair. “You’re so beautiful in the morning.”

She smiled. “You only say that because it’s still dark out. Wait until the sun rises and you can see just how scary I look.”

“You’ll always beautiful,” he argued, kissing her. “Always.” He pressed his lips to hers again then scooted down on the bed to plant a kiss on her belly. “And how’s my boy in there?”

“Not ready to make an appearance. We’ll just have to try again tonight.” She ruffled Connor’s hair.

His pretty, mobile lips parted in a wide, hungry smile. “You can’t hide in there forever, son.”

“No, it only feels like he will.” Thalia laughed then grunted as the baby kicked. “Oh good, you woke him up.”

Connor lifted her night gown and pressed his lips to her taut flesh. “Morning, little one.” The baby kicked again. “He’s obviously grumpy in the morning.”

Thalia finger combed Connor’s mussed hair. “Just like his daddy.”

“I’m not grumpy. I just like to lounge about,” Connor protested as she reached over and turned off the alarm before it could ring.

“It’s a good thing I like lounging with you,” Thalia said, turning so she could stroke his back. Neither of them ever lounged for long. Connor often was up and off for a day at the fire station even before the sun was awake, and she was at Angel’s Catering to start cooking while the rest of the world still slumbered.

Before Connor could become too interested in her touch, the phone rang. Thalia tensed, afraid they were calling Connor in early for a big fire. She tried not to show how nervous his job made her. Connor picked up the phone. “Oh, hi, Buffy,” he said. “No, Dad’s right. It’s not too early to call. We’re up. I’m getting ready to go to work. Sure, she’s right here.” Connor handed Thalia the phone.

Thalia smiled as he moved off to get dressed. “Hi, Buffy. Nope, not doing anything important, just watching my husband’s ass as he gets dressed.”

Connor glared over his shoulder. “Don’t tell her that.” He disappeared into the master bath.

 

“Sure he has an ass, Buffy...okay, it is a little one but I can tell you how to find it since you’ll probably be required to kick it. First you need two hands.”

Connor popped his head around the door frame. “Stop that!”

Thalia laughed. “She heard you, skinny ass. He’s as red as the fire truck he rides around in.”

“They’re green now,” Connor grumbled from the other room.

“Sure, Buffy, I’d love to get together today. I don’t have much else to do. Mostly I just pop in to work to make sure things are going smoothly at this point. Why don’t you come here and I’ll cook us up something...No, don’t worry about it. I have to cook for the Twig or he’ll just eat a protein bar or some bastard creation like that. You and I can go shopping along State Street and go for lunch...great, you can test those butt finding techniques after breakfast.”

“Thally!” Connor yelled, his voice echoing around the bathroom.

She laughed again. “Bye, Buffy.”

Connor came out of the bath room and kissed her hard. “You’re awful.”

Thalia cocked up an eyebrow. “You’re sure?”

He kissed her again. “You taste sweet but you’re rotten at the core.”

She kissed him back. “You like me that way.”

He cupped her chin. “You bet.” His fingers strayed over her belly. “You turn out like your mom, little man, and you’ll be very naughty.”

She tapped Connor on the head. “Please, he’ll be naughty from both sides of this family, demon boy.”

“Half demon,” Connor protested.

“I’m just glad your half doesn’t have horns, though a tail might have been interesting,” Thalia said, levering herself up and out of the bed. She peered out the window. It was a murky grey outside.

“Pervert.”

“And you love it.” Thalia smirked at him. “It’s a beautiful grey fall day. I think I’ll make a hot, stick to your ribs breakfast.”

“Just don’t overdo it, baby,” Connor fretted. “Stress equals labor.”

 

Thalia snorted. “I’d do jumping jacks if I thought I’d hurry this boy along.”

“Oh, there’s an image.” Connor rolled his eyes.

Thalia swatted him. “See, told Buffy it’s possible to find your ass.”

He rubbed his stinging backside. “Very funny.”

Thalia dressed and waddled her way down the steps. She was stirring the bubbling _trahana_ when Connor let Buffy in.

“That smells so good,” Buffy said, coming into the kitchen. “You really didn’t have to cook for me, Thalia. It was supposed to be a fun day out for us.”

“Does he look like he should skip a meal?” Thalia pointed a spoon at Connor who was getting the bowls down. He made a face at his wife.

Buffy’s lips quirked up. “Not really.”

“I don’t let clients see him. They’ll think I’m the worst cook in the world,” Thalia said, ignoring Connor’s glower. “Get me the honey, Honey.”

Connor got it out of the cupboard and nearly dropped it when Thalia grabbed his butt. “See, Buffy, you can find his ass if you’re fast enough.”

“You’re in such a mood today, woman,” Connor grumbled, leaning in for a kiss.

“Bet it makes you sad you have to go to work,” Thalia replied, and Buffy grinned.

“Very much, now behave yourself.” He tapped a finger on her nose. “We have a guest.”

“I’ll behave if you do tonight when we go talk with your father and the others,” Thalia said. “Or nobody will be grabbing your butt for a long time to come.”

“Buffy’s laughing at us,” Connor said, his face looking like a flawless ruby.

Buffy tried not to snicker. “I’m not laughing. You two are fun. I don’t get to see much of that any more. I spend too much time alone, bouncing around the world.” Her eyes dimmed, her shoulders drooping.

Thalia looked at her sympathetically. “I can’t imagine that. I’ve always been tight with my family. It’s only me and my sister left now, and her kids. My parents were killed in a car accident soon after I started dating Connor. God, how they hated him.” Thalia stirred the _trahana_ a final time. “Babe, could you spoon this out for me. I’ll get the _katiki_ cheese.”

 

“Sure. Buffy, have a seat. I’ll get you coffee, too,” Connor said, taking his wife’s place in front of the stove.

“Thanks.” Buffy sat at the table. “Why didn’t your parents like Connor?”

“They heard the word ‘Reilly,’ told me to not bring him home unless he miraculously became Greek and that was that. They didn’t even try to like him,” Thalia said sadly, getting the cheese and orange preserves out of the fridge. “How do you like your coffee, Buffy? _Glykys,_ like Connor?”

“I’m not sure I know what that even means,” Buffy said as Connor set the bowl in front of her.

“Sweet as honey,” Thalia said, taking Buffy’s bowl. She tossed in cheese, drizzled on honey then spooned in the preserves. “There you go.”

“What is it exactly?” Buffy eyed the unfamiliar food suspiciously.

“ _Trahana_ soup with _katiki Domokou_ , honey & spoon sweets,” Thalia said, doctoring up a bowl for Connor.

Off Buffy’s still confused expression, Connor tapped the orange preserves. “Spoon sweets.”

“Ah...and _trahana_?” Buffy asked, obviously preparing herself for octopus pate.

“Pasta, it’s a porridge-like pasta. Welcome to Greece,” Connor said, going for the coffee pot.

“Well, it smells good. I like coffee with cream and three sugars so that would be _glykys_ , right?” Buffy looked to Thalia who was trying to sit comfortably at the table.

“You’re learning. Greek coffee is usually served with ouzo. I can’t have either thanks to...” Thalia patted her belly. “And Connor skips the ouzo but you can have some.”

“I skip it because if I breathe out those fumes near a fire and there’ll be spontaneous combustion of my head,” Connor said. “It’s very strong licorice liquor, Buffy.”

“Pass, but thanks.” Buffy spooned in a mouthful of the _trahana,_ her lips pulling into a grin. “Oh, this is good.”

“Glad you like it,” Thalia said. “We’re big on yogurts for breakfast but it’s too ugly grey out there for cold breakfast.”

“Agreed.” Connor sat down. “I just wish you’d let me do some of the cooking. You should rest more.”

“You fret too much. I can cook just fine. Buffy and I can go shopping without it being too stressful, and if something happens, you’ll be the third to know,” Thalia said, giving him a look.

“No offense, but I’m kinda hoping the little guy doesn’t put in an appearance while we’re out shopping,” Buffy said, a wary glance reserved for Thalia’s belly and the way the baby was making her shirt jiggle side to side.

“Oh, given his parentage, I’m sure he’ll pick the most inconvenient time he can,” Thalia replied.

“Listen to your mother picking on you, son,” Connor wagged his head. “Don’t worry, it’ll be us two together. We can probably take one girl...maybe.”

“Big maybe, buddy.” Thalia grinned wickedly at him.

Buffy just laughed, somehow feeling light when she hadn’t even known she had been too heavy of spirit for her own good.

X X X

Buffy and Thalia sat in the _himal chuli,_ their purchases at their feet as they waited for their Nepalese food.

“I didn’t peg you with being this experimental, Buffy,” Thalia said, drinking a mango _lassi,_ a yogurt drink.

Buffy broke off a piece of _roti,_ wheat bread with yogurt in the mix. “Willow spent quite a bit of time in Nepal and she got me hooked on Nepalese food. You feeling okay?”

“I needed this break,” Thalia admitted ruefully. “But my credit card didn’t.”

“But you got some of the cutest clothes for the baby,” Buffy said, popping in a piece of the bread.

“And that dress for me that was way too much money. God, I’m so looking forward to fitting back into something like that.” Thalia sighed.

“Connor will love it.” Buffy made a face. “Well, as much as any man, who’ll never guess so much that the dress is new and you bought it for him.”

“Thinking of that hot little number you bought with Angel in mind.” Thalia grinned.

Buffy blushed, her eyes scanning the tiny restaurant so she wouldn’t have to look at Thalia. “That obvious, huh?”

“Afraid so. Any reason why you aren’t with him?” Thalia shrugged, tossing her long hair back. “I mean, I know the whole drama but that’s several years in the past. Just looking at your face when you were trying on that dress, I don’t think your feelings have changed much.”

Buffy sighed as the waitress set a bowl of _dal_ in front of her. The pea-green soup was rich with beans and onions. “It’s just...I don’t know what it is any more, Thalia. I know we can be together now. He’s not going to lose his soul so long as he’s not perfectly happy.”

“No chance of that so long as my husband is such a stubborn dickhead,” Thalia replied, poking a spoon at the _tarkara_ the waitress set before her. The scents of ginger, garlic, cumin, and coriander wafted off the vegetable stew.

Buffy nearly choked on her _dal._ “Poor Connor. I know he’s not a bad man, Thalia but sometimes he can be such a ...”

“Stubborn dickhead,” Thalia repeated, her dark eyes slotting. “Trust me, I married him. I know his faults.”

Buffy nodded. “He certainly would help keep Angel’s soul in place. I don’t know why I haven’t come back to Angel. I know I still love him but there just seems to be too much past or not enough or something.”

“Does it matter in the long run? Life’s short. I don’t need to tell you that. Maybe you’re looking for perfection and it’s not going to come across your path. Men are flawed creatures. So are women but not nearly as much as men.” Thalia smirked.

Buffy stared at the _dal_ , her appetite waning. “Maybe you’re right. He’s always wanted me to have someone normal. I’ve always wanted something more exotic. Then I look at you, and think ‘that’s what Angel wants.’ You’re exactly what he wanted for Connor, a normal woman. He wants it for me, too; a house, three kids and two cars.” Buffy sighed. “Sometimes I want that, too, but I’d get bored fast. Not that I’m saying you’re boring,” she added quickly.

“I know what you meant.” Thalia spooned in some _tarkara_. “How does Angel imagine normal happens for someone like you?”

Buffy shrugged. “I’m not sure, and he’s always wanted it for me before there were other Slayers. I mean, now I could retire, settle down...go to the sperm bank and have him that kid. He’s always wanted that for me. Him and his normal life...it drove me nuts.”

Thalia pursed her lips, tapping her spoon against them. “Curious, I wonder if that explains...”

Buffy looked up, her curiosity peaked. This might be what Angel hoped she could uncover for him. “What?”

Thalia shook her head. “Nothing. Well, everything.”

“You mean about him and Connor,” Buffy said softly, realizing Angel may have once again caused his own doom.

Thalia trailed her spoon through her stew. “I figured that’s half the reason you wanted to spend the day with a crazed, hormonal, ready to blow, pregnant woman was to talk about our men folk.”

Buffy tensed slightly. She could sense Thalia’s unease with the topic. “I think if you know something, Thalia, it would help in the long run if you just told Angel.”

Thalia shook her head, her walnut curls bouncing into her eyes. “Once I told Angel something about Connor, and my husband was furious. I honestly thought Connor might leave me over that, Buffy, and it wasn’t as major as this. He trusts me to keep his secrets.”

“I don’t think Connor would be going anywhere,” Buffy said then added, seeing Thalia’s hard look, “But you know him best. I know you’re in a difficult place. I can tell you like Angel.”

“I really do, and I know he loves Connor,” Thalia said, her eyes glistening. “And I know my husband loves him back even if he won’t admit it.”

“He does hide it well,” Buffy said wryly, before she could stop herself, realizing how rude that sounded.

“You can’t be this angry at someone, Buffy, without huge depth of feeling.” Thalia sighed as the waitress returned with their lunches. Both ladies had ordered the _momochas_ . Thalia viciously stabbed one of the vegetable and chickpea-filled dumplings slitting it in two. She dabbed it around in its sauce then took a bite. “I just wish Connor would trust me with things. He likes to shield me when he can.”

Buffy snorted, thinking of all the times Angel had done that to her. “Sounds familiar. From what I can tell, Connor’s a lot like Angel.”

“God, yes, they’re two peas in a pod, and I think that’s half the problem. But I don’t know how to get him to change...in so much as people can change.” Thalia dropped her gaze to the pitted table top. “I know they don’t really change much but I just wish he’d understand he can tell me things, even if he thinks they’re hard. Like the baby’s name thing.”

Buffy cocked her head to the side. “What thing?”

“I want to name the baby Stephen, after my grandfather, and I know Connor doesn’t like it but he won’t tell me why. He just goes all quiet.” Thalia sighed, frustration radiating from her.

Buffy smiled softly. “I can help you there. Steven was the name Holtz gave Connor after he kidnaped him. For the first eighteen years of his life, Connor’s name was Steven.”

Thalia slapped her fork down. “Now why couldn’t he just tell me that? I know all about him being in Quor-Toth...well, everything except his name, obviously. Why does he keep something like that from me?”

“Maybe he thinks you’re in love with the name already and he doesn’t want to disappoint you,” Buffy suggested.

“And when Angel hears the name and freaks, that would be better?” Thalia wagged her head. “Fine, we’ll just find another name or we can talk it over. Maybe Angel won’t mind if Connor doesn’t. Names aren’t everything. I mean, it was a little bumpy there in the beginning when Connor learned I ran Angel’s Catering. I swear he thought Angel sent me to find him and seduce him.”

“How did you come up with the name of Angel catering?”

“My maiden name is Angelopoulos.” Thalia smiled. “It was just a coincidence. Angelopoulos is a mouthful but Angel is cute. At least junior here won’t have to struggle with his spelling in pre-school. Reilly’s pretty simple.”

Buffy grinned. “True. Angelopoulos would take a lot to learn when you’re in pre-school.”

“Could be worse. My sister, Larissa’s married name is Panayiotopoulous.”

“I’m so sorry.” Buffy smothered a laugh.

“I know.” Thalia sobered. “I just want my son to come into a family full of love. I don’t want him seeing his dad and granddad like they were last night.”

“Then you might have to risk telling us why you think Connor’s so angry.” Buffy plunged her _roti_ into the sauce of the _momochas._ “Tell me. Maybe I can help and Connor won’t need to know about it.”

Thalia pushed her dumplings around then set her fork back down. “Damn it, okay. You knew about the name thing. Obviously Angel tells you more than Connor tells me. When you said that stuff about Angel wanting the people in his life have normal things, I started thinking maybe that’s why he did what he did to Connor.”

“You mean the spell?” Buffy’s face paled a bit. “Thalia, do you know about what Connor did? The reason Angel had that spell cast?”

“Go nuts in a mall? Yes, I know about it. Connor didn’t want to tell me but I do know about his past, all the ugly stuff.” Thalia sighed. “I know why Angel took away Connor’s memories. He wanted Connor to be happy and hey, not insane. Connor was grateful for that.”

“I know. Angel told me. That’s what hurts him so much, Thalia.” Buffy paused, feeling Angel’s pain. “One day Connor’s telling him how he doesn’t want to make a thing of it and how he was grateful, and soon after, he started getting angry again, resentful until it was worse than before. He barely speaks to Angel now. You know that better than me. Angel doesn’t know what he did wrong and it really hurts.”

“It’s the normal thing...maybe. Connor doesn’t understand why Angel went through all the effort of giving him this new life where he could be happy and then gave him to complete and total strangers,” Thalia said, her own pain evident in her voice. “He feels unwanted, Buffy. He doesn’t understand why Angel wouldn’t have done the spell and kept him, made Connor happy to be his son, not the son of some stranger who got selected at random. He feels like Angel didn’t want him, that he couldn’t be bothered with him so he pawned Connor off so he’d never have to deal with him.”

Buffy’s lips formed an ‘O’ with the hiss of ‘oh.’ “Thalia, that’s not true. Angel nearly died inside giving Connor up.”

“That’s when I started thinking earlier, about if Angel wanted normal for you, as silly as that is, then maybe that’s what he tried with Connor. It wasn’t that he didn’t want his son. It’s that he wanted his son to have a nice, normal, happy life, away from all the death and killing.”

Buffy bobbed her head. “I don’t even have to ask Angel to know that’s exactly it, Thalia. That’s Angel to a core. He does have a bad habit of deciding what’s best for you, and he tries to give it to you, without asking or even thinking about what you really want. You need to get Connor to talk to Angel about this. If they would just stop being stubborn and talk about things, all of this could have been over years ago.”

“I don’t know that Connor will do it,” Thalia lamented, tears standing in her eyes.

“For you, I’m betting he will. If he won’t then...well, we can find a way of telling Angel,” Buffy mused. “I could have figured out from our talk that Connor feels rejected or something that Connor might buy into.”

Thalia sighed. “Let me work on him. He wants to know what he can do to make things easier for me and the baby. I’ll see if I can get him to talk. I’ll try tonight after we’re done talking shop, such as it is. Connor knows you and Giles aren’t really here for the Bray Road Beast but he hasn’t twigged on to the fact you might actually be here to see the baby when he comes.”

“I can’t believe he’s this thick.” Buffy poked at her lunch. “It’ll get better, Thalia.”

The pregnant woman managed a smile. “I pray you’re right.”

X X X

She walked down the corridors of the _Dawl Irrifletta’s_ laboratory. The building was spacious, not too far from the Oscar Meyer plant, which accounted for some of the smell that seemed to permeate the place. Her subject was just on the other side of the door. The place had been reconstructed to look like an everyday home, if the unopenable bullet-proof Lucite windows were discounted. A living room, kitchen, two bed rooms and one and half baths with launderette, it was the kind of apartment most people would love to rent, bright and airy, not at all looking like the prison that it was.

She pursed her lips, not seeing her charge anywhere around. The place was deathly quiet, no tv, no radio, no signs of life even thought she knew there was no escaping this place. The one thing the occupant didn’t have was much in the way of weapons. No knives, no forks, a soft mushy diet for her, and no decorative bits heavy or sharp enough to be used as a weapon. Not that her charge seemed inclined to attack her. Mostly she just hid, at first confused and afraid at being back in this world, and now, just afraid of what was going to be asked of her.

She searched the bathroom and bedroom for her charge but had no luck. Finally, she went into the second bedroom. It was bright with stars and moons wall paper and a crib with stars and baby Snoopy on the bedding. The celestial theme continued with the curtains behind which dark blue mini-blinds could darken the room to simulate night any time of day for baby. The mobile over the crib were more stars and moons, which were less disturbing to her than to have Mickey Mouse or Winnie the Pooh dangling over a baby like they’d been hung. An activity brain booster was strapped to one side of the crib. Everything was ready except her charge who was huddled in the corner besides the enormous stuff Snoopy. She went over to her, looking down at her. “You really need to get used to the idea. You’re back. You’re going to help us and after a while I’m sure you’re going to love this.”

The woman tilted up her wet face, tears still trickling from her eyes. “Why are you doing this to me?”

She squatted down. “Because, Darla, you never got to raise your son so I’m going to give you your grandson. You’ll love raising him.” Eve just smiled, envisioning the agony this would put Angel in, only fitting given all he took from her


	3. Lovers

CHAPTER THREE

“That feels heavenly,” Thalia sighed, stretched out on Angel’s couch while Connor rubbed her swollen feet.

“You and Buffy have fun?” Connor asked, very well aware his wife’s heel was resting in his lap. If he misbehaved now, she could make sure he never fathered another child.

“We had a good time. Spent lots of money,” Buffy said, sitting with Angel on the couch. Giles and Spike had taken up residence in the big, soft chairs but Illyria didn’t seem to want to come to roost. She stood behind Spike like a statue.

“And did anyone spot the Bray Road Beast?” Connor asked acerbically, and Thalia tapped his groin lightly in warning.

“I’ve been gleaning a lot of research material, actually. It’ll make a nice essay at the very least for the journals,” Giles said, placatingly.

“Well, then you’ll have to meet Scott, one of my co-workers. He swears he’s seen the beast.” Connor rubbed Thalia’s legs. “So, anyone going to tell me why you’re really here?”

“I would have thought it was obvious, son.” Angel gestured to Thalia.

Connor’s eyes narrowed. “Did you invite the world to the birth? Why not just tell me you wanted like a family reunion or something?”

“Probably because of the ugly face you’re making right now,” Thalia said in warning, and his blue eyes darkened. “There’s nothing wrong with Angel wanting our friends to come see the newest member of the family.”

“And that’s what we are, Connor, for better or worse,” Angel said, edging closer to Buffy. “We’ve cobbled our own family together.”

“Just some members aren’t as easy to get along with,” Spike said, rolling his eyes at Angel.

“Yes, we’re aware of your shortcomings, Spike,” Angel zinged right back, and Spike curled his lip.

“I have never understood this human desire for family,” Illyria said then touched Spike’s cheek. “However, it is not an unpleasant sensation for the most part.”

“And we have another birthday to be celebrating in a few days,” Buffy said, entwining her hand with Angel’s.

Connor’s brow knit. “Who’s?”

Thalia nudged his thigh. “Who? Who do you think skinny ass?”

His confused look only deepened. “You aren’t having a birthday party for me!”

“Why not?” Buffy asked, looking unsure if she should be amused or worried.

“Because I’m not big into a day I’m not even sure is my birthday or just something I think might be real,” Connor snapped.

Thalia’s heel ground down in warning. He hissed softly. “You promised you wouldn’t be an ass tonight, Connor, so don’t start off by picking a fight.” Thalia held out a hand to him and he hauled her up into a sitting position. She tapped his chin. “Thank you.”

“And it really is your birthday, Connor,” Angel said, moving Connor’s annoyed look from Thalia to himself. “November nineteenth. I was thinking there’s every chance your son might share your birthday.”

Connor made a face. “That would be just strange...but possible. I’ve thought about that. So, was the purpose of coming here tonight merely to tell me to expect guests in and out of town until the baby comes or are we seriously going to look into the Bray Road Beast?”

“Well, I am curious about the enduring sightings of the beast, so I will be doing research,” Giles said. “I wouldn’t mind talking to your friend, Scott. But as for you actually helping, that will be up to you, Connor.”

“And you’re here tonight because you promised to do anything you could to make things easier on me and the baby,” Thalia said, touching Connor’s cheek. “You can start by talking to your father like a gentleman. No winging food at him or fists or anything not nailed down in this room, and you don’t even have to do it in front of us. Buffy and I have made some plans for doing some pool walking in Angel and Spike’s gym while you talk. I think Spike and Illyria are going out on patrol, and I’m sure Giles has plenty to keep him busy so you two will be alone and we’re trusting you not to trash the house.”

“But Thally,” Connor protested.

She propelled herself up. “You’re going to show me what your promises mean, Connor.” Thalia walked off in the direction of Angel’s spacious gym before Connor could convince her to change her mind.

“That is one tough lady,” Angel said when they were alone.

Connor shook his head. “You have no idea.”

“I like her,” Angel ventured cautiously, obviously weighing what might be safe conversation versus something that would only inflame his son’s volatile nature.

Connor smirked. “She’s a far better woman than I deserve.”

Angel leaned forward, elbows on knees. “No, she’s exactly what you deserve. Thalia is everything I would have hoped for you, Connor. Beautiful, funny and big-hearted, and she makes you light up with so much peace and love that you’re...” Angel paused, hunting for words. “You’re simply more with her.”

Connor rested back against the soft couch cushions, taking in something that had eluded him about the living room last night as he contemplated his father’s words. Angel had changed things in the room. There was such pride in them that he couldn’t find fault with Angel. Sometimes he wished he could do what Thalia wanted, and just lie his burden down, let go of all his hate. “She has given me so many reasons to live that sometimes I’ve forgotten what I did before I met her. All she wants now is for us to reach an accord.”

“I wish we could, too, Connor.” The words were so soft Connor wasn’t sure if they were meant for his ears or not.

“I know you do. Just look at this place.” Connor swept his hand over the coffee table.

“What?” Angel tensed.

“There’re no knick-knacks any more. Everything’s been put up on higher shelves or are just plain missing. You’ve baby-proofed this room,” Connor said, somewhat bemused.

“Just a little,” Angel said, his eyes wide, a hint of panic in them. Connor knew his father was afraid of his reaction. “Just in case, you know, you and Thalia would want a night alone. I thought I could babysit a little, or even in the day later on when Thalia goes back to work.”

Connor snorted. “The Scourge of Europe babysitting. That’ll make a nice entry into Giles’ diaries.”

 

Angel’s shoulders drooped.

“Don’t worry, Dad. Thally would bring the baby over even if I didn’t want her to,” Connor said harshly, thumping his heel against the floor.

“I don’t want to cause problems between you and Thalia, Connor.” Angel ran a hand through his hair then dropped it onto the arm of the chair like he didn’t know what to do with those nervous fingers. “She wants us to be family. Family was the only thing you ever wanted, and that’s all I wished to give you. And I thought I had and that we were finally getting somewhere...until we weren’t. And now I feel further away from you than I did when you first arrived. I could understand the distance then, tried to find ways to bridge it but now...I just feel like I’ve done something wrong but I don’t know what I did. I can’t fix what I don’t understand.”

Connor was put in mind of one of those comedy skits where the man is trying to ask forgiveness from his wife but he has no idea what he’s done wrong, only that he had done it, and she wasn’t going to tell him what it was. Maybe Thalia was right, he should just tell Angel how much it hurt to be left with strangers, no matter how good the Reillys had been to him for however briefly it was. When they died, he didn’t feel he could go back to Angel. How much clearer did signs need to be? First Angel chucked him into the streets then a few months later gave him to strangers and finally he wouldn’t even allow Connor to fight with him against Black Thorn. Angel obviously didn’t want him. “Some things just can’t be fixed.” His voice was like broken glass.

“I refuse to believe that, Connor.” Angel got up, pacing over to the fireplace. “We’re all trying to make things better.”

“Everyone but me, you mean.” Connor’s jaw clenched.

“You said it, not me but it’s the truth.” Angel’s dark eyes hardened. “I don’t know what else any of us can do to make you want to be a part of the family. If your wife can’t move you, then I know there’s nothing I can do except let you go. I won’t put Thalia and the baby between us, Connor. You can tell Thalia it’s all right. She doesn’t have to make you come here anymore. We don’t have to have that party for you if you don’t want it, and I won’t ask for your help any more either. You don’t want to give it, and I shouldn’t keep putting you in the position of having to come here.” Angel leaned back against the fireplace, looking somehow small, something Connor had never seen before. “I know that Thalia and the others expect us to talk. You can just stay here for a while and I’ll go. If they ask, we can tell them some emergency cropped up.”

Connor watched Angel going toward the door. He knew when the vampire reached it, he would be gone from his life forever. Hadn’t that what he been hoping for? It didn’t explain the cold creeping up inside him, the sick feeling like he had eaten a piece of squid several weeks past turning. A few more steps and he’d never have to fight with Angel again, and he would be abandoned for the last time. As Angel’s fingers brushed the door jamb, Connor said roughly, “Thalia wants to name the baby Stephen.”

Angel paused, turning to look at him. “Why?”

“It was her grandfather’s name,” Connor said simply, still shocked that he had stopped Angel from leaving, surprised it had been easy to do so.

Angel’s lips thinned. “Have you told her that was your name in hell?”

Connor shook his head.

Angel came back into the room. “Why not?”

 

Connor couldn’t look at him. “I don’t know.”  
“Connor, what’s happening to you?” Angel’s voice was equal parts concern and rebuke. “You’re becoming so closed off. It’s a simple thing to say; just tell Thalia what that name means. You can’t start walling yourself off from her, too.”

Connor just looked up at him, his mouth working silently. Tears welled up but he was far too proud to shed them.

Angel sat next to him. “For the love of God, Connor, can’t you find a way out of this fortress you’ve built around your heart? I’m no longer expecting it for me, but for Thalia, please try. Is there something I can do?”

Connor tried to talk but there was nothing in him but emptiness and rage and neither were veins he wanted to tap. He just shook his head.

Angel leaned back against the couch. “Maybe I’ll just sit awhile then. We don’t have to talk. We could just watch tv. Families do that together right?”

Connor nodded and Angel flipped on the tv. After several minutes of the vampire channel surfing, Connor said, “I don’t cut her out. I just don’t want to hurt Thalia. I know she really loves the name Stephen.”

“Then you should at least be honest with her about why it makes you uncomfortable,” Angel replied.

Connor bobbed his head and said nothing more. That counted as a real conversation, right? He and Angel discussed a problem, no one got punched and no voices were raised. He knew Thalia wouldn’t buy that bullshit but he’d try to sell it none the less. He settled back, tried to get lost in the programming and hoped for a beep that would take him away to a fire. He’d rather be facing a chemical blaze than to be stuck in a room with Angel, and then having to face up to his own failures in front of his wife later on. Fate didn’t indulge him with a timely fire.

X X X  
“So, you’ve been quiet since we left Angel’s,” Thalia called from the bathroom after finishing brushing her teeth. “I mean even for you, Mr. Chatty Cathy.”

Connor rolled his eyes, knowing his wife couldn’t see and swat him one for it. “I didn’t have much to say.” He crawled into bed, hoping she’d take the hint and not bring up anything else.

Thalia came into the room and looked at him. Her look said she knew he was trying to avoid her. “So, what did you have to say to Angel?”

“Um, not much really. We mostly just watching TV.”

“Bullshit.” She crossed her arms over her vast chest. “Try again.”

He looked away. “He said you could quit trying. He doesn’t want to be a wedge between us.”

“He’s not the wedge,” Her voice was hard enough to etch glass.

 

Connor rolled onto his side, facing the wall. “I know,” he whispered, silent tears streaking down his face.

Thalia climbed into the bed. “Don’t you dare turn you back on me, Connor.”

He didn’t turn back to her. He tried to wipe away the tears without her noticing. She leaned over him, her face dark with rage but the color faded away.

“Oh, baby, what happened?” She sank down on the mattress, putting her arms around him. He just shook his head. “You didn’t expect him to just give up on you, did you?”

It felt like she was so far away from him. All Connor could feel were her arms and the press of the baby into the small of his back and nothing but space between them. He rolled over but there was no real way of entwining with her, not with the wide expanse of baby belly between them. She slid her hands over his wet face.

“He was going to leave me there,” he whispered, his voice ragged.

Her hand caressed him. “But he didn’t.”

“I told him about what you wanted to name the baby,” he said as if that made any sense in this context.

“And I told Buffy and she told me what you should have said,” Thalia tried to snuggle in but couldn’t. “Why didn’t you just tell me that yourself?”

“Angel asked me the same thing. I didn’t have an answer for him...or for you. I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Connor said. “Something’s broken inside me, Thally. Always has been. I think the cracks are growing, and I’m scared because I have too much to lose. I can’t fall apart now.”

Thalia levered herself up so she could lean in for a kiss. “You are not losing me, Connor. You just have to learn to trust me and Angel. You can tell us anything. I’m sure of that. Neither of us are going to flinch when the heat’s turned up. Tell your father how you feel, Connor. Look at yourself. You’re a mess because he almost left you, and you know he will do it. I’ve talked to Buffy. Angel thinks leaving to cause people less pain is a good thing to do.”

“I told him I didn’t care if you brought the baby over to see him. He’s already got the house all ready.” Connor wiped his eyes. “I didn’t think he’d leave.”

“Maybe not but maybe he will. My bringing the baby over without you, that’s hollow. Don’t you see that, Connor?” she asked, heartbroken.

Connor flopped over on his back, staring up at her. “I’m hollow. I told him that years ago.”

“You’re not hollow. You’re afraid. You hide inside yourself,” Thalia rested back, curling up against his side as much as she could. His arm folded around her. “Talk to him, Connor. I’m willing to bet Angel had what he thought were good reasons for putting you with the Reillys instead of keeping you with him.”

Connor looked into her face. “More Buffy-born wisdom?”

“She does know him well. We didn’t talk much about you two, but things she said about Angel and herself got me thinking. We have time yet, Connor. We can still work things out.”

“Later. Right now, I just need you to hold me,” he said softly.

She snuggled in, resting her head on his shoulder. “I’ll hold you forever.”

“Forever works for me.”

X X X

Darla sat in the rocking chair, staring at the crib. She saw the crib in her nightmares. Why were they doing this to her? Why couldn’t people just let her rest? She wanted to tear out Eve’s throat but she no longer had the means. It was still disconcerting to have a vampire’s memories and yet be stuck back in a human body. At least this time the soul wasn’t driving her insane. It must have been her son’s influence, that piece of his soul she shared had prepared her for this.

Her son, she rolled those words around in her mouth, savoring them. Her beautiful damaged boy had been so wracked with agony and fear and guilt that his pain had pulled her to him even across the dimensions. Darla wiped tears from her face, remembering her failure. She had almost saved him but in the end, she had lost everything. She felt his agony, watched him spiral out of control. She watched as the bitch twisted him up so badly that he just stood by and let her slaughter the girl he had brought to her. She had been powerless to stop her boy from becoming a murderer.

And now she was helpless to stop Eve from inflicting the terrible punishment on Connor and Angel. Darla would have thought she was used to being powerless. She had spent her hell watching her son grow up in the hands of a man who she had helped turn into a monster. Holtz had been kinder to her child than she could imagine. It had been an appropriate hell, being forced to watch her son without ever getting to touch him, to cradle him in her arms, to catch his scent, to take joy in his innocence.

 

It had been like a slice of heaven to go to him in his hour of need and even though she failed him, she had gotten the chance to tell him how much he was loved. Or maybe that was more hell, watching her words fall on salted earth, seeing him so twisted around that he thought he couldn’t be loved. But Angel tried to fix it and she had been denied the view of her son after that. Until now, but she wanted nothing to do with this plot to hurt him.

Darla had tried to break out of her cage but she didn’t have the strength to take the door. There was nothing sharp in the apartment. She tried to drown herself in the tub, and Eve took away the stopper. Darla couldn’t bring herself to drown herself in the toilet and realized that even if she died, Eve would still do this, only she would be the one raising Connor’s child. Darla couldn’t allow that. As long as she was alive, she could try to save her grandchild and bring the baby back to her son. Darla knew she was strong enough for this. She had always been a resourceful woman, even as a mortal.

She had time on her side and now she didn’t have to fear an unexpected death thanks to her sick heart. She could have been brought back with a healthy heart last time but Wolfram and Hart hadn’t wanted that. They wanted Angel to kill her to ‘save’ her. Eve, on the other hand, wanted her alive to participate in this experiment with Connor’s child. Darla could only dread what that meant.

At first, she had been confused by her own participation in the experiment. She couldn’t fathom why this woman wanted her to design a nursery. Eve just kept battering her with questions as to what she would have given Connor had she raised him, making her go through countless catalogues until she had created the room she sat in now. It wasn’t a room Darla would have expected but somehow all the stars and moons felt right. Connor would have been a happy baby in a room like this, and by the time she had realized why Eve wanted it, she was in no position to warn anyone.

No phones, no one but Eve, and her companion, the loathsome Gene, coming to the apartment, no neighbors that she could hear, Darla didn’t know how to alert anyone to her predicament. She had even bitten her finger and wrote ‘help me’ on the window in her own blood but no one looked up. She was three stories up and no one had noticed. She had wiped it off as Eve had let herself in, fearing what the woman would do. Darla needed to stay alive for the baby because she knew one thing about her son that Eve probably didn’t. Connor was just like Angel in so many ways including stubbornness and loyalty. He would never stop looking for his child if Eve succeeded in getting a hold of the child and neither would Angel. She would do her best to make their jobs easier. She rather hoped they left killing Eve to her for disturbing her rest and for daring to hurt her men.

Author’s Note – The Himali Chuli was a Nepalese restaurant when I used to live in Madison and to my delight as of 2018 it still is! They had great food.

 


	4. Tragedies

CHAPTER FOUR

Author’s Note - This was written before the rash of similar crimes cropped up this year and is in no means condoning such actions.

All Thalia really wanted was to be off her feet but she still had the finishing touches to put on the menus for two weddings and one Lion’s Club party for the coming weekend. Zoe was supposed to be doing it but she had called in sick. Thalia decided to fill in for her and do some of the paperwork, too. Connor would have a fit at her overtaxing herself but she could handle him.

She wished she could be home with her husband, knowing how much he needed her right now. She had never seen him so fragile and afraid. He hadn’t imagined that Angel could stop loving him, and the reality that Angel could actually walk out on him had Connor terrified more than he’d ever admit to her.

Thalia was just as glad Connor was working the evening shift tonight. They had spent a lazy morning cuddling in bed, making love slow and gentle, though she was beginning to believe that it was a load of bull that semen contained enzymes to help speed along labor. Other than a few repositioning pangs, her son was in no apparent hurry to leave his warm, watery home. As she shuffled paperwork on her desk, Thalia tried to think of other names that appealed to her, while wishing yet again to kick Connor’s little butt for not just telling her why the name Stephen made him nervous. It might be a moot point, if Angel took off but she didn’t want that.

She made a decision. Connor might be mad at her but she’d just point out all the ways this was best for their family, that would probably shut him up. Thalia picked up the phone. “Hi, Angel...catch you in the middle of anything...no, I’m not exactly fine...no, no need for 911. My son is apparently clinging to my walls with fingers and toes. I wanted to talk to you about your son. There’s something you really need to know...no, I’m not at home. I’m at work...you sound just like Connor. I’m not overdoing it. Yeah, meet me here. I’m not comfortable with doing this over the phone...no, bring Buffy if she wants to come. She already knows some of this. Okay, I’ll see you in twenty. Bye, Angel.”

Thalia set aside her paperwork and went to put the last of the cookies from the cooling racks into their containers. She snuck one, munching contentedly. Yes, Connor might be mad but it was for his own good. He needed his father, and she wanted her son to have a grandfather, even if he was a vampire. Angel deserved to be able to come over to their home and see the infant in the nursery Connor had created for him and not have to see their son on the sly.

Connor had done such a good job of decorating. Thalia hadn’t thought he’d had it in him but he had started throwing out suggestions, and in the end, she just let him go for it. He put together a beautiful little room for their child: Soft blue walls, bedding in royal blue with yellow stars and matching curtains, the pillow and bunting done up in colorful galaxies. A mobile of stuffed moons and stars would entertain little Stephen...or maybe Aleksander, that name might work, and the mobile played Braham’s _lullaby_ and Beethoven’s _Moonlight Sonata_ . She was so very proud of the nursery he had created. How had Angel felt having to dismantle the crib and put away the toys when he lost Connor only to get him back as pissy teenager? Thalia couldn’t even imagine that pain and it made her all the more determined Angel got to spend time with Stephen...Acheron?

She sighed. It was hard to pick a new name once her heart had gotten set on something. Maybe the name wouldn’t really bother Angel. Or was it Connor who was the one who’d be upset. Marcus? Maybe if they made it Stephanos. Theo? “God, I don’t even know if Connor wants to name him something Greek. All I know is he doesn’t want to name you after him, little guy.” She caressed her belly. “Maybe I ought to start thinking with an Irish brogue.”

Thalia looked toward the door startled, as the bells jangled. A short, thin, thirty-something woman came in, her long dirty blond hair swinging. She smiled, wide and almost hungry. There was something about that smile, about the glint in the woman’s pale eyes, that Thalia didn’t like. “We’re closed. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, sorry. I just really wanted a menu to take home and look over if you have something like that. My boyfriend’s waiting outside anyhow. It won’t take long,” she said.

Thalia sighed. She couldn’t afford to turn away business. “Sure, I can get you that, Ms...”

She smiled again. “You can call me Eve.”

 

X X X

 

“Did you bring us any more of your wife’s delicacies?” Monisha asked, rummaging through the fire station’s fridge.

Connor smiled. He liked Monisha, knowing she had a hard row to hoe since too many saw her as both a token female and African-American. Some didn’t give her credit for being a great fire fighter. At least their core team, all seated around the table tonight, were better than that. “Just what I dropped off yesterday. I think there’s chicken left.”

“Man, I hope she taught you to cook while she’s busy with the baby. You can’t afford to lose any weight,” Scott said as he dealt the next poker hand.

Connor smirked. “I can cook just fine. Hey, one of my friends is in town doing a study on the Bray Road Beast. You want to talk to him, Scott?”

“Man, don’t get him started on that fairy tale.” Tim leaned over and cuffed Connor on the shoulder.

“It’s no fairy tale. It was the scariest damn thing I’ve ever seen,” Scott said, his green eyes wide. “Sure I’ll talk to your friend. ‘Bout time someone took me seriously.”

“No one said anything about taking you seriously,” Peter put in as he sorted his hand. Like a good chunk of Wisconsin, Pete was Nordic, pale skin, pale hair and eyes so pale blue they were nearly white. “Way to deal shit, Scott.”

“Great poker face, Pete,” Monisha said, rejoining the table chicken in hand. “Connor, did you hear Tim’s wife’s knocked up again.”

Connor’s brow knit. “What is this? Your fourth kid?”

“Fifth.” Tim ran a hand over his coppery hair. “I swear you just wave it at her and she gets pregnant.”

“I don’t think that’s how it’s done, but I’m just a smoker-eater, not a doctor, “ Peter said, shrugging his muscular shoulders. “Isn’t your wife due any minute now, Connor?”

“God I hope so. She looks so uncomfortable,” Connor said, wincing in sympathy for his wife.

“It’s good to be the man,” Scott said, flashing his white-toothed smile.

Monisha snorted. “Yeah right.”

“Give us one way being female’s better?” Pete’s pale eyes glinted.

“Well, at least we don’t have to fiddle with our crotches every ten minutes to make sure our privates are still there,” Monisha said, taking a big bite of chicken, then looked at her cards.

 

“That’s not why we fiddle with it,” Tim replied, grinning widely.

 

“Don’t ever tell me why,” Monisha said. “Fold. God, Pete’s right, you can’t deal worth a shit.”

“Don’t worry, Scott. I love you,” Connor said, tossing in a chip.

Before the bet could go around the table, the klaxons went off. They all sprang into action, racing for their suits and their fire engine.

“What you have, Connor?” Monisha asked, tugging on her boots.

“Three of a kind,” he moaned.

She rolled her eyes. “Figures.”

“I know this is how my luck runs,” Connor moaned, but a little gleam in his eyes. He lamented the loss someone was facing but there was that thrill of fighting a fire that he just couldn’t suppress.

 

X X X

“Penny for your thoughts,” Angel said as he and Buffy made their way through the Madison streets.

Buffy pulled a long face, stumbling over some cracked sidewalk. “Does anyone actually ever pay for thoughts?” When Angel just shrugged, she said. “I was thinking about what Thalia asked me about you and me yesterday.”

“Would that be why you were holding my hand when I had to face Connor?” Angel’s tone was gentle, his eyes curious.

She nodded. “Apparently we’re still not good at hiding that we have feelings for one another. And when you told me you’d wait for me, I didn’t really think you meant it.”

“There were a few distractions but that’s all they were,” he admitted, with a wave of his hands.

“So maybe I’m done with my distractions, too.” Buffy sighed. “I just wish I knew if this was me talking or if this is Hormonal Nutty Me seeing Thalia and Connor together.”

 

“That I can’t tell you...but I didn’t think you were particularly interested in having children.” His step hitched a bit as if he were tensing nervously. “Didn’t you chew me out once for assuming that you might?”

She shivered as the wind picked up. “Yes, and I really don’t want any. Poor Thalia looks exhausted but happy about being pregnant. I’m not sure that’s for me. Thalia has a way of cutting through the bullshit, which might be why she can handle your son. She made me see that maybe I’ve just been afraid to be with you.”

Angel’s hand touched her arm just briefly. A pained expression painted his face pale. “Why would you be afraid of me?”

“Because now you aren’t off limits. It was actually easier when you were. I’ve come to realize I have a huge fear of commitment, probably a lot to do with my father.” She shrugged, trying to minimize that revelation. “Poor excuse I know but I keep picking men I think I can’t have a future with: you, Spike, the Immortal and when I got someone normal, I drove him away. Poor Riley. Now, without the worries about the soul since you know enough not to be perfectly happy, you’re not off limits. I have to look commitment in the face...and it’s scary.”

Angel slid an arm around her. “You’re putting the cart before the horse, Buffy. We haven’t even tried to be together in over a decade. We might find we no longer have anything in common.” He paused as they gave each other a ‘who are you kidding?’ look. “No sense in rushing. Take it slow. First we have to get past the new arrival and all that furor.”

Buffy smiled, loving that he was trying so hard to put her at ease. “I guess so.”

“And you’re wrong, you know, about not having a future with us,” Angel said, pulling her close to his side. “The Immortal aside, Spike and I are all about commitment, or as close as evil vampires can get to it.”

Buffy rested her head against his shoulder as they walked. “You and Darla, Spike and Dru...between you, you have, what, three hundred years total for commitment?”

“Something like that.”

“Never thought of it that way...and I find it even scarier.” Buffy shivered again, and it wasn’t entirely from the chill wind.

“Do you know what Thalia wants to see us about?” Angel glanced up at the sky that began to spit snowflakes.

“It’s her story to tell. My bet, she’s ready to tell you why Connor’s so damn mean to you. She knows, she told me that much.” Buffy pulled her hat down tighter over her ears. She was not meant for Wisconsin. “She didn’t want to betray his trust because she’s afraid he’d do something stupid but something must have changed since last night.”

“I told Connor I’d leave, never see him again since that’s what he obviously wants,” Angel said softly.

“Only it wasn’t,” Buffy guessed, remembering the strained faces from the night before.

“It shocked him to the core. He didn’t want me to go. I wasn’t expecting that. It startled me and gave me hope for the first time in years,” Angel admitted, sniffing the wind.

Buffy tensed, scanning for danger. “What?”

“Smoke. I hear sirens, too.”

“We’re not that far from Angels’ catering are we?” Buffy asked worriedly.

“Too close,” he growled and broke into a run.

Buffy followed on his heels. As they rounded the block, there were fire engines and police cars cutting off the streets and one of the buildings was consumed with flames. Buffy’s heart pounded. She was pretty sure it was Angel’s Catering burning to the ground. The air was ripe with the acrid stench of burning plastics and something that smelled like cooking pork. Next to one of the fire engines, two firefighters were fighting with a third who was trying to go into the blaze.

“That’s ladder seventeen,” Angel said, his voice tight. “Connor’s station.”

“Oh God, Angel.” Buffy breathed, understanding what was happening before her, and for once she was powerless to help.

Angel jogged toward the fire engine. A police officer cut him off.

“You civilians need to stay back,” she ordered.

“Connor,” Angel bellowed, realizing his son was fighting to be allowed to do battle with the flames but his fellow firefighters knew better than to allow it.

Connor and the other two firefighters looked Angel’s way. The older man started toward the vampire, trying to haul Connor with him. The third man was shoving Connor along, and Angel wondered how long before Connor stopped holding back and really used his strength to bully his way inside the burning building.

“Angel, they want me to leave. Zoe was working tonight. She’s inside,” Connor said, a plaintive look on his face.

“You know him?” the older man asked.

Angel suddenly realized that Connor didn’t know Thalia was here or there would have been no stopping him. “I’m his older brother.”

“Take him home. We can’t have someone emotionally involved in this working the fire,” the older man said as the other firefighter peeled off and ran back to work.

Angel caught Connor’s arm hard and Buffy took the other. Her face was wan and determined. He knew she understood the situation as well. “I will.”

“Captain, I can do this. Zoe’s a friend...she’s inside,” Connor said, his voice cracking as he tried to tug away.

“And you know it’s already too late,” the Captain said, sternly.

“Do you know that?” Buffy asked tightly.

The Captain nodded. “We’ve spotted her. They’re trying to get her out but the smell...it’s too late.”

Angel saw her shudder when the realization what the cooked pork smell meant hit her. He had known already, having torched many buildings in his bad old days. He had liked playing with fire even though he was not immune to its effects. “We’ll take Connor home. The police will want to talk to him.”

“Why? The investigator will tell them what they need to know about the fire,” Connor argued, tugging against his captors. “Captain, I can help. And why are you two even here?” he asked as if it suddenly sank in Angel and Buffy shouldn’t be standing in front of his wife’s place of business.

“Connor,” Angel said softly, sliding his arm around Connor’s back. His son tried to pull away but Buffy hemmed him in. “I don’t know if Zoe’s in there...but Thalia asked me and Buffy to meet her here.”

Connor shook his head, and the Captain’s mouth went slack. “No, Thally’s home. She’s home,” he insisted, his voice cracking.

“I’m sorry, Connor,” Buffy said, tears racing down her face. “I’m so sorry. Thalia isn’t home. She told us to meet her here.”

“No. Call her. Call home. She’s there,” he insisted but Angel felt the strength going out of his son’s legs.

“Connor, I’m sorry,” Angel whispered, dragging his son to him. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a man and woman in suits heading their way. Homicide probably, already on the scene.

“Let me go,” Connor screamed, battering Angel. “I have to get her out of there. I have to help her.”

“Connor, it’s too late,” the captain said as Angel wrestled with Connor. “Can you get him home?”

“No.” Connor slipped Angel’s grasp only to get bird dogged by Buffy. He looked like he wanted to punch her, to take his rage out on the only thing standing between him and the fire but Connor dropped his arm, his whole body shaking.

“They’re bringing her out, Rass,” one of the firefighters called to the captain.

The captain turned to Angel. “Take him out of here. He doesn’t need to see her like this.”

Connor made a keening noise, trying to push past Buffy then just went to his knees. Angel scooped him up, getting him back on his feet.

Buffy turned to the two people in suits who had reached her side. “We think that’s his wife they’re bringing out. We were supposed to be meeting her here. We have to get him out of here but we walked. Can someone take us back home?”

The woman nodded. “I’m Detective Danforth. We’ll get a squad car to transport you to...”

“424 North Pickney Street,” Buffy said. “It’s his brother’s home.”

“Detective Zuelsdorff and I will have to talk to all three of you later tonight,” Danforth said, sounding apologetic.

“Of course.”

Angel and Buffy propelled Connor along to the police car Danforth got for them. Angel wasn’t sure that his son could even move without their help. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the gurney moving, black plastic over whoever it held. Hearing the whimper bubbling out of his son, he knew Connor had seen it as well. Buffy took the front seat, leaving him behind the cage with Connor who just stared out the back window, quivering uncontrollably the whole way to Angel’s place.

Occasionally he’d murmur it couldn’t be Thalia. Zoe was working tonight and that they needed to call his home. No one did. Angel knew Connor knew the truth but was too much in shock to comprehend it. Angel wasn’t sure how he was holding himself together, let alone how Connor was managing not to dissolve into a screaming mass of rage. Buffy cried softly in the front seat. Connor took a few steps towards the house and went down. Angel caught him, seeing the totally vacant look in Connor’s eyes.

“He’s in shock,” the patrolman said. “We should probably take him to the ER.”

“We’ll take care of him. We know how,” Buffy assured him, knowing Connor needed to where his supernatural friends and family could care for him and make sure he didn’t do anything crazy.

Angel cradled Connor to him, carrying him awkwardly to the house. Buffy ran in front of him, tossing open the front door with a bang. It startled Giles and Spike. Illyria was nowhere to be seen.

“Bloody hell, Slayer, give a guy a fri...” Spike trailed off, seeing Angel and Connor. “What the hell happened?”

“Buffy?” Giles got to his feet.

“Someone burned Angel’s Catering down...we think...” Buffy sniffled. “Thalia’s dead.”

Connor moaned loudly at that proclamation. Angel knew they weren’t sure it was Thalia’s body but it had to be. She wouldn’t have been waiting for them outside. She had to be in the blaze, and he didn’t want to imagine how terrified she had to be trying to get out, too pregnant to run from the flames. Angel laid his son on the couch. Connor was shaking so hard Angel nearly dropped him.

“How did it happen?” Giles asked over Spike’s loud swearing.

“We don’t know but homicide will be here to talk to us,” Buffy said, wrapping her arms around herself.

“She wasn’t there,” Connor said with sudden vehemence. “She was home. She doesn’t work nights now. You have to call her.”

“I’ll do it, Connor, but she was there. She called me and Buffy from there,” Angel said gently.

Connor shook his head then threw it back, screaming wordlessly. He tumbled off the couch into a heap on the floor, trembling and sobbing. Giles knelt down beside him and tipped up his chin.

“Shhh, Connor, listen to me. Sleep now,” Giles said, drawing something in the air in front of Connor’s eyes that glittered and gleamed.

Connor collapsed, unconscious.

“Sorry,” Giles said, looking up at Angel. “I thought it would be for the best.”

“No, he wouldn’t hold together until homicide gets here,” Angel said, muscling Connor onto the couch. “There’ll be all the time in the world for him to grieve.” Angel wiped tears from his own eyes.

“What the fuck happened?” Spike growled. “Someone murdered that beautiful woman?”

Angel wagged his head. “I don’t know, Spike. All I know is Thalia called me and told me to meet her at her business. Connor thought Zoe was supposed to be there. Buffy and I arrived and the place was already in flames and the fire chief was trying to keep Connor from going in.”

“We don’t even know if Thalia was murdered. Homicide probably gets called out whenever there’s a death in a fire,” Buffy said, her voice cracking as she tried not to make eye contact with any of the men. She’d lose control if she did. “But...there are no accidents in our world, are there?”

“I’m afraid not,” Giles said, laying a fatherly hand on Buffy’s shoulder. “And if it’s something from our world, the police will be unable to handle it.”

“If it’s from our world, we’ll take it to pieces,” Spike growled, his eyes hard, glinting with malice.

“Spike, where’s Illyria?” Buffy asked.

“At our place trying to get her orchids to talk to her...and I used to think Dru was barmy.” Spike shook his head ruefully.

“Why don’t you go home? Homicide won’t need to talk to you, and they don’t need to see Illyria,” Buffy said, and Spike nodded his agreement, however reluctantly.

“Connor can’t go back to his house by himself,” Angel said suddenly. “He has to stay with us. I need to make up the last guest room.”

Buffy went over and hugged him. “You stay with your son. I’ll take care of it.”

“I’ll show you where he keeps everything,” Spike said. “Then I’ll try to figure out a way to explain this to Illyria so that she doesn’t say something...insensitive. Damn, now I know what Xander had to feel like with Anya. Are we sure it wasn’t this Zoe bint who died?”

Angel sank onto the couch, resting Connor’s feet in his lap. “No, but that would just mean that Thalia is still in the blaze. We could try to call her at home but if she had changed her mind and left, she would have called me by now.”

“Fuck,” Spike grumbled then led Buffy upstairs to make up the room.

Giles went into the next room and came back with two tumblers of Scotch. He handed one to Angel.

“Thanks.” Angel cast mournful look at Connor whose breathing was slow and steady as he slumbered under the influence of the spell. “Whoever did this took everything from my son. Human or demon, it doesn’t matter. They don’t get to live.” Angel’s eyes flashed up to meet Giles, and somehow he wasn’t surprised when the blue eyes looking back at him shone with agreement.

 

X X X

Buffy opened the door when Danforth and Zuelsdorff knocked. She hadn’t realized in the lurid light of the fire, how different the partners were. Danforth was relatively young, with her raven hair tied back away from her long, somewhat flat face. Zuelsdorff was older, square with hair naturally the color Spike strived for with peroxide. It was cropped so close the pink of his scalp - a shade darker than the pink of his face- showed through.

“He’s this way. He took something to calm down so he might be a little groggy,” she said, knowing Giles was bringing Connor out of the spell but had no idea if there would be residual sleepiness. For all she knew, Connor would instantly go to pieces.

Danforth gave a sharp little nod of her head. “You were at the crime scene. Would you like to tell us about how that came to be Ms...?”

“Buffy Summers. Angel and I got a call from Thalia to meet her there,” Buffy said, as they joined the others in the living room.

“Angel...”

“Reilly,” Angel said, a hand on Connor’s shoulder as his son wiped his bleary eyes. “I’m Connor’s older brother. Please, have a seat.”

Buffy noticed that Danforth and Zuelsdorff arranged themselves so that they had Connor pinched in between them. Angel related about Thalia’s phone call, answering questions about the timing.

“Do you know why she wanted to meet you there?” Danforth asked, scribbling a note in her book.

Angel hesitated. “There has been some distance between me and Connor. I’m considerably older, and Thalia wanted us to try and get closer now with the baby coming. She and Connor were here last night, and it was just a follow up on that.”

“Baby?” Zuelsdorff said, trading looks with Danforth.

“My wife is pregnant,” Connor whispered, not ready to talk about her in the past tense.

Angel gave his shoulder a squeeze as Buffy took a ragged breath in, trying to keep her control.

“Thalia had been talking to Buffy about things we could do to be a better family so she asked me to bring her along tonight,” Angel said.

“And your relationship to everyone?” Danforth asked Buffy.

 

“I’m Angel’s girlfriend,” Buffy said, figuring that was the easiest thing to say.

“And you are, sir?” Danforth looked at Giles.

“Rupert Giles. I’m a friend of the family, here from London to...celebrate the newest addition of the family.” Giles’ wrinkles seemed somehow deeper as he said that.

“Is my wife dead?” Connor broke in, a hollow-eyed stare settling on Danforth.

“The medical examiner is still confirming that but we suspect so. Certain things fit,” she replied. “Your captain said you thought someone else was inside, Mr. Reilly.”

Connor sank against the arm of the couch. “Zoe Lalagos, one of my wife’s employee at Angel’s Catering. She was supposed to be there tonight, not my wife. I didn’t know until Angel told me.”

“And you were where tonight?” Zuelsdorff asked.

Connor’s glare could have killed him if such a thing were possible. “At the fire house, playing poker until the call came. I didn’t even know where we were going until we got there. That’s when the Captain wouldn’t let me in...it being my wife’s business. We didn’t even know yet...” He broke off, shuddering.

“Detectives, was it an accident?” Buffy asked, almost hoping for it.

Danforth chose not to answer. “Mr. Reilly, you said your wife was pregnant.”

He nodded. “Due any day...and now I lost them both.”

“Not necessarily,” Danforth said, and Connor’s head snapped over, his eyes wide. “There was a wound on our victim that suggests she was opened up before she died.”

Buffy noticed what little detail Danforth offered and realized the cops believed Connor was involved but that thought sank in her mind as a more pressing one bubbled up. Connor voiced that self-same thought.

“Someone carved our baby out of Thalia?” He managed to get the words out before covering his mouth with one big hand as a low moan issued out of him. Connor collapsed over his knees, pulling them tight to his chest as he shook and wept.

Angel put a hand on Connor’s back. “Detectives, I don’t think he can handle any more of this.”

Zuelsdorff nodded. “We’ll be back if we have more questions for him. One last question, do you know of anyone who would do something like this to you and your wife, Mr. Reilly?”

Connor just shook his head, unable to speak.

“Connor doesn’t have any enemies that I know of,” Angel said. “I have had a few who wouldn’t hesitate to hurt my family to get back at me. I could have a list ready for you tomorrow.”

Danforth looked surprised. “Thank you. We are very sorry for your loss, and we’ll keep you apprised.”

“Are you looking for my baby?” Connor managed to ask.

“We didn’t know to look until now but yes, we will do everything we can to find the baby,” Danforth said. “People doing things like this to steal a baby...it’s sadly not unheard of.”

She and Zuelsdorff let themselves out.

“They think I did this,” Connor sobbed, tearing open a couch pillow as his fingers twisted in it.

“They’ll learn fast you didn’t,” Angel said, running a hand over Connor’s back. “Kate told me once homicide always starts with the family.”

“Someone has my son,” Connor said, managing to get to his feet, looking as weak as a newborn deer. “I have to...”

“You can’t. I’ll get Spike, and we’ll go see if we can find a trail. You can’t handle this now, Connor,” Angel said, clasping his son’s shoulders.

“I can...” he trailed off, losing even more color. “Dad, why did they have to kill her?” Connor threw his arms around Angel, squeezing hard.

Angel stroked Connor’s back. “I have no idea, son. You need to stay here and take care of yourself. Spike and I will get the investigation started. We won’t stop until we find who did this and where the baby is. I didn’t stop when someone took you, and I will never stop now. I promise you that.”

Connor’s tear ran hot down Angel’s neck. “I can’t...I want to go back to sleep. I won’t ask again but tonight I can’t...I think I’ll go mad if I have to think about this.”

Giles touched Connor’s arm. “Let’s get you upstairs and I promise you won’t wake until the morning.”

Angel watched the older man lead his son off. “Someone is going to regret fucking with my family,” he said softly.

“I know,” Buffy said grimly, telling him with a look she would do anything he required her to do. No one was going to stop him from doing what he needed to.

 

X X X

 

“I didn’t know you were so good with a blade, Gene,” Eve said, looking up at her lover as the _Dawl Irrifletta_ doctor examined his freshly washed charge.

The square-jawed man, so unlike her beloved Lindsey in size and breadth, smiled at her. “I’m a man of many talents.”

She knew most of those talents were in the realm of giving pain and stealing whatever the Dawl wanted. “How is the baby, doctor?”

“In good health given his rough entry into the world,” the doctor replied as he remodeled the tie-off on the umbilical cord. “You got the cord tied off well, just too much cord left on. He’s got a perfect APGAR score, and he’s a good size and weight.” The doctor padded up the re-cut umbilical and wrapped a little gauze over it. “We’ll observe him to make sure he didn’t lose too much blood and we should feed him now and every two to three hours.” The doctor smiled behind his mask. “You ready for that?”

Eve touched the baby’s cheek and his head turned, his lips pursing like a fish’s. “His grandmother had better be. Welcome to the world, little Lindsey.” She smiled coldly.


	5. Babies

CHAPTER FIVE

Darla heard the baby screaming even before the knock on the door came. She was in tears as she opened it. Somewhere, her son and his wife were mourning the loss of their child. How had Eve kidnaped the baby away from the hospital? Eve just grinned, seeing her pain. Darla wiped her face, getting herself back under control. She hated to let the bitch, or worse, the square-jawed monster she had with her, see her like this. Darla had seen enough human monsters in her day to recognize them quickly. Gene was one of those. He might have rugged good looks but if one stared into those blue eyes, they’d see the coldness, the lack of soul.

“Ready to meet your grandson, Darla?” Eve gave her a haughty look, handling the infant like a sack of potatoes.

Darla took the baby away, unable to bear seeing the other woman holding him. She cradled him close and his wailing lessened. He was so beautiful with enormous eyes and a shock of curly dark hair. She hadn’t seen a baby with so much hair before. Darla stroked his hair, which felt like cotton fluff under her fingers. “He’s hungry,” she said, knowing that Eve wouldn’t have cared enough to pay attention to that sort of thing.

“Give her the book,” Gene said, his tone bored.

“Oh yeah. Here’s a memory book.” Eve nodded at Gene who tossed a baby car seat stuffed with items on the table. “It’s in there with some other junk for the baby. We want you to write down feeding times, diaper changes and anything else you think belongs in a baby diary. You’ve probably done this before.”

Darla thought about the children she had had in mortal life, none living past the age of five. Pregnancy had been impossible to avoid back then in her ‘career,’ and children had been more an annoyance than a joy. She had been denied that until Connor, and even then she had to die in order to feel it. “We didn’t keep diaries.”

“Just do it,” Eve snapped, scooping the baby away from Darla roughly. He shrieked, his tiny fists flailing. “We want everything recorded about little Lindsey’s life.”

Darla snorted, wanting to rip the baby back away from Eve but she didn’t move. “Lindsey? I’m not calling him that.”

“That’s his name,” Eve insisted, her lips falling into a petulant pout.

“Why? Because you think it’s funny to name him after a man who loved me once?” Darla’s jaw set. When Eve’s eyes opened wide, her face losing color, Darla understood in a flash that Eve hadn’t known about that. More importantly, Eve had cared for Lindsey once herself.

“What are you talking about?” Eve hissed.

“Lindsey was mine. What? He never told you that?” Darla tossed her hair, giving Eve a superior look. “Guess you didn’t mean much to him. Everything between him and Angel came back to me.” Darla didn’t know if that were true but it looked like a good button to push.

Eve shook her head, stepping closer to Gene, who seemed indifferent to the whole conversation. “I doubt that. He never mentioned you, and he would have. I gave up everything for Lindsey, right down to my immortality.”

“And I’ll bet Lindsey never noticed, too wrapped up in making Angel pay, right?” Darla smirked. “And this is just part of that.” She swept a hand towards the baby.

“Lindsey’s dead. Angel murdered him. That’s what this is about,” Eve said, her voice as dead as her eyes.

Darla tried not to let the shock show. She hadn’t known Lindsey was gone. “It’s sad really. Not about Lindsey because if my poor boy went after Angel, he probably got what was coming to him,” she said, not believing a word of it. If she could rattle Eve, she might be able to get past her. “I’m just looking at you and realizing, you look a little like me, without the class. I guess when he couldn’t have the original, Lindsey settled for a poor copy.”

Darla braced herself for a run past Eve, hoping she could snatch the baby easily while Eve fumed. She had forgotten one key thing, how weak she was now. She had also underestimated Gene’s penchant for violence. As she made her charge, his fist caught Darla hard in the gut, taking her right off her feet. Darla slammed into the living room rug hard.

“Good try, Darla but we’re not that easy to manipulate.” Eve dumped the car seat over, letting baby stuff shower everywhere. She tossed the baby down into the car seat like he wasn’t even a living creature worthy of care.

Darla crawled to the coffee table where her grandson was screaming himself purple, frightened and maybe hurt by Eve’s rough treatment. “How did you do it? How did you get him out of the hospital with Connor and Angel there?”

Gene laughed roughly. “She thinks we’d actually be dumb enough to wait for the freak family get together at the hospital.”

Darla looked at him, confused. “What?”

Eve grabbed her by the hair, hauling her up. “If we waited for the bitch to go into labor, then we would have had to deal with Connor and possibly Angel getting in our way. We couldn’t have that.”

Darla’s breath caught, horrible scenarios dancing in her mind’s eye. “What did you do, you bitch?”

“Surely you’ve heard of a Caesarian.” Eve smirked. “Of course, Gene didn’t use any anesthetics.”

Darla’s eyes filled with tears. Her poor son, his poor wife. “You killed her?”

“Oh, she’s very dead, toast.” Gene chuckled. “Or roast as the case may be.”

“So get with the bonding, Darla. You’re the only mom the brat is going to know...at least as long as we have use for him alive,” Eve said, coldly. “We’ll leave you to it.”

Darla didn’t even try to stop them leaving. Hearing the bolts being thrown on the other side of the door, she burst into tears. She levered herself onto the couch, holding her throbbing stomach. Trying to calm herself, she picked up the infant, knowing she couldn’t calm him if she were crying, too. Finally she got him quieted some, then went into the kitchen and microwaved some of the formula Eve had left.

As her grandson greedily guzzled it down, Darla held him close, trying not to think about his mother’s last moments. She had murdered many women in her day but even she hadn’t cut a baby out of its mother. Still, she had drank down any number of infants but she didn’t believe this was a punishment on her son and grandson for her wrong doings. It was just their misfortune to be caught in the back lash of the things she and Angel had wrought.

After feeding and burping him, she carried the baby into the nursery and laid him in the crib. Darla stroked his soft warm skin. “Time to sleep, Liam,” she said, deciding she’d call the baby anything but Lindsey. Maybe Connor would have given his son his father’s name. She had no way of knowing. It would do for now. The baby started fussing the moment she laid him down so Darla scooped him back up and sat in the rocker. As she rocked, she sang a lullaby she had sung to her own children.

_Lavender’s blue, dilly dilly,_  
Lavender’s green  
When you are King, dilly dilly,  
I shall be Queen  
Who told you so, dilly dilly,  
Who told you so?  
‘Twas my own heart, dilly dilly,  
That told me so 

 

X X X

 

Buffy opened the door suspiciously, hoping it wasn’t the detectives. She didn’t think Connor was up to that. Four people were on the porch, three men and a woman, all of them wearing masks of sorrow. “Can I help you?”

“Captain Rassmussen said Connor was here. We’re part of Ladder Seventeen. We were...” the red-headed man said, breaking off. His voice was thick with pain.

“Could we come in? We just want to be with him a while,” the dark-skinned woman said.

Buffy nodded, stepping back to let them into Angel’s spacious home. “Connor’s resting. Come on into the living room. I’ll see if he’s up to visitors.”

“You were there at the fire,” the mousy-brown haired man said, sizing up Buffy quickly.

“Unfortunately.” She scrutinized him right back. “You were trying to keep Connor from going in.”

“Thank God. We thought it was Thally’s partner in there and that was bad enough. I’m Tim by the way.” He tapped his chest then indicated his partners. “Scott, Peter and Monisha.”

“Buffy. I’m Angel’s girlfriend.” She waved a hand at the living room furniture. “Have a seat.”

“Angel, Connor’s talked about him. I got the impression there were...problems,” Monisha said, hesitantly.

“Sadly. The brothers don’t get along so well. That’s why Angel and I were going to meet Thalia last night. She was trying to bring the family together,” Buffy said as Giles got up from where he was studying at a computer screen at the table. He gave her a look. “Giles, these are some of Connor’s coworkers. This is Giles, a friend of the family.”

Giles inclined his head to them. “I’m sorry to meet you all under these circumstances. Can I get you anything?”

“We’re good,” Scott said, for them all. No one gainsaid him.

“I’ll go get Connor,” Giles said, leaving the room.

Buffy sat down nervously. “I’m sorry you all had to see Thalia like that...and I’m glad you stopped Connor from going in there. I don’t think...he couldn’t have survived that.”

Scott leaned, elbows on knees. “I don’t know how much the police told you the scene since it’s SOP to start an investigation with the family but we know Connor had nothing to do with this.”

“He adored his wife,” Monisha said, vehemently.

Buffy nodded. “I know.”

“Thalia had been handcuffed to the table,” Scott said, surprising Buffy.

“God,” she whispered, wondering if that meant Thalia hadn’t been killed before someone cut her up. A killer didn’t need to restrain a dead person.

“What?” Connor’s voice snapped loudly as Angel helped guide him into the room. Connor’s eyes were so sunken Buffy expected them to roll back in his head like a broken China Doll’s.

Monisha was at his side almost instantly, before they could expound on what they saw at the crime scene. She swept him up in a tight embrace. The rest of the firefighters descended on Connor, expressing their condolences, pounding his back, hugging him before finally escorting him away from Angel and to the couch.

“Did you say Thalia was handcuffed?” Angel asked, leaning against the marble fireplace.

Scott nodded. “Pete and I found her. And I know we shouldn’t be telling you this, Connor, until the detectives clear you but damn it, we know you didn’t have anything to do with this.”

“I know Danforth,” Tim said, slightly optimistic. “She won’t stop at the easy answers.”

“Someone handcuffed Thalia to a table, Connor,” Scott said softly. “This was no accident.”

“We’re so sorry.” Monisha put her arm around him.

Connor nodded. “I know. Couldn’t have been an accident...but if she was handcuffed.” Connor went the color of spoiled sour cream. “Oh, God. She was alive when...”

Buffy got up and sat on the coffee table. She took his hands. Angel moved behind the couch, resting his hands on the pillows on either side of Connor’s drooping neck. “Don’t think on it, Connor.”

He squeezed her hands so hard she thought he’d break bone, Slayer strength or no. He craned his head up at his father. “Why would they do this to her? Killing her first would have been a mercy.”

“We think she was dead when the fire started, Connor,” Pete said gently, looking at a complete loss as to what to do.

Connor shook his head violently, gripping Buffy’s hands harder. “That’s not what...oh...oh..god. Angel...”

Angel put a hand on Connor’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. We tried to track who did it but we couldn’t. We’re not giving up.”

“But she was alive,” Connor snarled, forcing Buffy’s hands down and away from him. “Why would someone hurt her like that?”

Giles took off his glasses, cleaning them. “I didn’t want to suggest it, Connor, but if they wanted the baby alive, Thalia had to be alive when they took him or he would have been brain damaged.”

Connor shuddered, drawing away from Monisha, into himself. “Of course,” he said, remembering his basic lifesaving rules.

“I don’t understand,” Monisha said, letting Connor have his space.

“Are you saying the baby’s alive?” Scott looked at Giles.

Buffy watched Angel swallow hard, barely able to control his emotion. “Yes,” she whispered.

“The detectives think that someone cut Thalia open and took the baby,” Angel said and Connor whimpered. He stroked his son’s back. “We tried to see if we could find a trail away from the fire that the detectives hadn’t had time to find but we got nowhere.”

For several long moments the firefighters said nothing, too stunned for rational thought. Tim spun away from the group, his body shaking. He glanced back at Connor. “I have four kids,” he said for Angel, Giles, and Buffy’s benefit. “I don’t know what I’d do if someone touched one of them, let alone something like this.” He shuddered, furious at the impotence they were all facing.

“Connor doesn’t have any enemies,” Monisha said, not a hint of doubt in her voice. “Who would do this to him?”

“Who needs a reason?” Pete snapped but she didn’t flinch. “You hear about stuff like this on the news. You just never think...”

“The cops don’t really think you did it, do they Connor?” Scott asked. “We all know that’s where they look first, but they have to see this is a dead end and they’re wasting precious time.”

“I don’t know,” Connor whispered, seemingly oblivious to the tears cutting tracks down his face and dripping off his chin.

“They’re coming soon to get a list of enemies from me,” Angel said. Buffy heard the shame in his voice, the assumption of guilt. They had no way of knowing if this had anything to do with Angel but she knew he’d take the blame. It was an Angel thing to do. It might have to do with the demons that had something against Connor. It could be what Pete had suggested, a random act of violence. Buffy hoped it wasn’t the latter. There would be no way of narrowing the field that way.

“You have enemies?” Monisha’s dark eyes could have flayed Angel where he stood. “Ones that would kill a woman and steal her baby?”

“Someone took my baby once,” Angel whispered, and Giles surprised Buffy by putting a supportive hand on Angel’s arm.

“Did you get him back?” Tim asked.

Angel shook his head, looking at Connor. “I never got my son back.”

Buffy saw the horrible empty expression on Connor’s face but she knew Angel wasn’t exactly lying. He had gotten back Holtz’s son and that rift remained between them. She gave Connor’s hands another squeeze, and his gaze turned to her. She smiled gently, hoping he knew she loved him, simply because he was part of Angel if for no other reason. She knew how much he needed to feel that love now.

“Damn,” Scott whispered. “What can we do for you, Connor?”

Connor slumped over on the couch. “Nothing. I don’t...I don’t know. It’s too soon. I can’t think.”

“We’ll do anything you need, Connor,” Monisha said then she looked at Buffy. “Will he be staying here? If not, one of us can stay with him at home.”

“He’s staying here but if he changes his mind, where can we contact you guys?” Buffy asked as someone knocked on the door.

“That’ll be the police,” Giles said.

“If they see us, they’ll know we told Connor about the scene,” Pete said, looking slightly worried.

“Let ‘em know,” Tim replied. “If Connor accidentally tells them what we just told him, they’ll know it came from us. They won’t be thinking anything stupid.”

Scott got up and clamped a hand on Connor’s shoulders. “Anything you need, Connor, you let us know.” He turned to Buffy. “Scott Holquist, I’m the only one in the white pages.”

“We’ll make sure to call you,” Buffy said as Giles headed for the door to let the detectives in. “And I’m sure even if he stays here, Connor will appreciate your company so just call and come back.”

The firefighters headed for the door as a group, knowing the detectives wouldn’t appreciate their presence. Monisha turned and said to Buffy, “You take good care of him.”

“We will,” she assured her, noting the hot look Danforth gave the firefighters as Giles led her and her partner in.

Connor looked at the detectives, the words dying before they left his mouth, his eyes shattered. Buffy watched him fade and die in front of her eyes.

“Have you learned anything?” she asked for Connor, knowing he needed someone to be his voice at the moment. He was no longer capable.

Danforth’s head shake was almost imperceptible. “We need to speak to you, Mr. Reilly.”

“Alone would be good,” Zuelsdorff said, his eyes cutting to Giles, Buffy and Angel.

“Is that necessary? He’s barely holding together,” Angel said, putting a protective hand on his son’s shoulder.

“They think I killed her,” Connor said flatly. He raised his gaze to the detectives, his head wobbling like a new born kittens. “A house burns in an arson fire you look at the owners, a wife dies you look at the husband.”

“Connor didn’t do this to Thalia,” Buffy said. “If he’s a suspect, are you going to take him to the station? We’ll get him a lawyer. If not, then we’re staying here...and maybe he still needs a lawyer.”

Danforth looked at her coolly. “We just need to clear a few things up. A lawyer shouldn’t be necessary. We can do things here.”

“We really need to speak to Connor alone,” Zuelsdorff said, his pink face getting redder.

“They aren’t going anywhere. They never do,” Connor whispered. “Ask your questions while I’m still calm enough to answer.”

Danforth sat down. “Thank you. We don’t want this to become adversarial. How was your wife’s business doing?”

Connor gave her a hollow-eyed stare for a moment. “Tell me first, do you have a clue where my son is?”

“We’ve checked all the hospitals for a newborn being brought in for an emergency exam or being left there but nothing so far,” Danforth asked.

“And no signs yet...that the baby didn’t survive,” Zuelsdorff added and Connor flinched.

“As far as I know the business was doing well. She just hired two new employees to handle the work. You’d have to ask Jay Demmer, he handled the money,” Connor replied. “She didn’t ask me to torch the place for the insurance money.”

Zuelsdorff made a note. “It was amateur hour when it came to the arson from what we’ve been told. You didn’t know your wife was going to be there.”

Connor wagged his head. “Not until Angel and Buffy told me. Zoe was supposed to be there.”

“Zoe Lalagos, yes, you told us that yesterday. We’ve checked with her and she was sick yesterday or she would have been there,” Danforth said. “We spoke briefly with your wife’s sister. She said you and Thalia had a good relationship.”

“But she does live in Waukesha so she doesn’t get to see you all that often,” Zuelsdorff added, giving it ominous relevance.

“It’s only a little over an hour. We saw her family at least once a month,” Connor countered. “I’m sure you’ve already asked my friends and family, or will ask, about our relationship. I can’t think of anyone who’d say differently.”

“So far no one has given us any reason to suspect you, Mr. Reilly,” Danforth said, her eyes flickering over to Buffy, Angel and Giles.

“How did you feel about becoming a father?” Zuelsdorff scrubbed a hand over his buzz-cut white-gold hair.

Connor’s eyes flashed fire and Buffy felt Angel stiffen furiously next to her. She saw what was going on, a very subtle good cop, bad cop. Every time Danforth reassured Connor, Zuelsdorff moved in with a tough question.

“I was thrilled. I’ve always wanted a family,” Connor replied.

“Thalia was so excited, too,” Buffy spoke up and the detective’s eyes turned to her. “She told me so. She was so proud of the way Connor made up the nursery all by himself. She laughed about...” her voice broke, tears spilling down her face. “About him having all kinds of sympathy pregnancy stuff.”

Connor’s lips trembled as he started losing his control. “She told you about that?”

Buffy nodded, not trusting her voice, and Angel looped his arm around her.

Giles cleared his throat softly. “Detectives, if I may offer an outside opinion, it’s been a long while since I’ve seen two people so happy about the future and the impending birth of their child. I can’t imagine what could have possibly gone so wrong that Connor would wish to hurt his wife.”

Danforth nodded then turned to Angel. “You said you had a list of people who might wish you and your family harm.”

“I have it ready.” Angel got up and went into the next room. He came back with a computer printout. “Here. Most of these people were back in Los Angeles the last I knew. Both Connor and I lived there but that was several years ago. There are one or two here in Wisconsin. I made special note of them.”

Danforth slipped it into her notebook without looking at it. “Thank you. Unfortunately the security camera at your wife’s business was too badly damaged. Nothing can be recovered from it.”

“We’re looking at neighboring stores and hoping if we find something it’ll be digital and not crappy video,” Zuelsdorff added. “We’ve already sent uniforms to the businesses to make sure they don’t dump their digital. A lot do after twenty-four hours.”

Connor nodded. “If you see something...if I can help identify the person, just ask.”

Danforth got up. “We will. Thank you for your cooperation, Mr. Reilly. We’ve a lot more leg work to do. We’ll be in touch.”

Giles showed the detectives out. Connor collapsed back on the couch, burying his face in his hands. “They’ll be talking to everyone I’ve ever known, every neighbor, digging up dirt. It’s...violating.”

Buffy sat with him, putting her arms around him. “I know, baby, but it’s the only way they’ll figure out what happened.”

He pulled away from her. “Only they won’t, because it’s not going to be normal cop stuff. All of this will have to do with him.” Connor stabbed a hand toward Angel. “Or me or this weird abnormal life we live.”

“I want to tell you that’s not true, Connor, but now that it’s happened, I almost want this to be because of us.” Angel’s eyes went golden. “Then we can handle it our way.”

Connor’s answering smile was feral, chilling Buffy to the bone. “That’s what I wanted to hear.”

 


	6. Understandings

CHAPTER SIX

Angel didn’t want to believe it but his son was gone. He and Buffy had dozed off finally, and the house had been quiet when he woke up. The sun was just beginning to fall. He knew Giles was out picking up Dawn from the airport but Connor should have been somewhere. Angel quickly learned he was not. He chased all over the house after him and called Connor’s home. Larissa answered. Connor had told Thalia’s sister and their family to stay there instead of at a hotel. She said Connor hadn’t been by yet, and he didn’t enlighten her to the fact Connor was probably roaming Madison with murder on his mind.

Angel thundered into the guest room. “Buffy, wake up!”

She startled upright and for an absurd moment he was reminded how sexy he found her. “Wha?”

“Connor’s gone.”

Buffy let the sheets drop away from her body. “Are you sure? Did you call his place?”

Angel’s eyes flicked towards her, taking in her modest cotton nightgown. He realized how long it had been since he’d been this close to her bed and had to force himself to forget that and concentrate on what was paramount. “And spoke to his sister-in-law. She hasn’t seen him and he’s not here.”

Buffy rubbed sleep from her eye. “How about the gym?”

“Not there. Found Spike but not my son. He’s in the wind, Buffy.” Angel wanted to grab her out of the bed and just propel her out to the streets nightgown and all. “We can’t leave him out there by himself in this state of mind.”

“Rounded up Illyria,” Spike said, coming up behind Angel. His eyes flicked over to Buffy who grabbed for the sheets again. “Getting dressed, Slayer?”

“Spike,” Angel growled in warning.

The smaller vampire glanced at him, dismissing the threat. “Where do you want us to start?”

“With the catering business.” Angel wished he had a better answer but that was their only starting point. “You and Illyria go one way and Buffy and I will go the other. Connor would have started there trying to track...who knows what. The fire obliterated any scent.”

Spike nodded, relief at being able to help shining in his blue eyes. “I’ll take Blue and get started. See you later.”

“Spike looks so upset. I didn’t realize he liked Thalia that much,” Buffy said, swinging out of bed. “I guess he wouldn’t have to, to feel bad about this.”

“He likes Connor, for what little he gets to see of him,” Angel replied, studying the pale peach walls so not to look like he was staring at Buffy. “And he liked Thalia, too.”

“I’ll leave a note for Giles and Dawn telling them where we are.” Buffy started, grabbing clothes out of the closet. “Dawn’s already started faking up the paperwork for you in case the detectives check it out. She’s gotten as good with the computer as Willow.”

Angel turned away, heading out. He called over his shoulder. “I’ll call Lorne and let him know. I think he was driving in from Chicago tonight. You dress. I’ll meet you downstairs.”

Angel didn’t wait downstairs. He was already in his car when Buffy showed up. He drove it to the block where Angel’s Catering use to be. He tried not to look at the burned out shell of a building. Spike and Illyria were waiting across the street from the scene of the crime.

“Which way you want to go?” Spike wrinkled his nose against the residual stench of the fire. “I can’t even catch junior’s scent, if he even came here.”

“I have no better guesses, Spike,” Angel growled, hoping to catch Connor’s trail but faint scents died fast in the city effluvium. “Maybe he didn’t trust you and I did the best we could last night in tracking his son. He had to start somewhere. I couldn’t think of a more logical point.”

Spike rolled his shoulders and looked over at Illyria. The demoness looked back blankly. “We’ll go that way.” He pointed east.

“Fine. If you find him and he doesn’t want to come home, Spike, just call me,” Angel said, wishing he knew what to expect from his son.

“Yeah, that’ll be fun trying to hold him in place until you get there,” Spike grumbled and moved off with Illyria in tow.

“Spike has a point,” Buffy said, following Angel. “Connor is difficult to control especially when he doesn’t want to be told what to do.”

“I know but he’s barely functioning. I think if we find him, he’ll come home...or break down completely and I don’t want to think about that.” Angel canted off, heading in the vague direction of the college. He didn’t know why. It just felt like the right thing to do.

“I’m worried about him, Angel. I mean more so than you would naturally in a situation like this.” Buffy’s face looked pale and anxious to him in the dark. “He doesn’t want justice. He wants vengeance.”

“I know.” Angel’s voice was a tight whisper almost lost in traffic noise. “Connor’s life was destroyed by vengeance. I wiped out Holtz’s family and he stole mine. I thought that was the end of the circle but maybe...”

“Angel, you are not responsible for this.” Buffy’s voice was as sharp as cannon fire. “No matter what your son said, no matter what you think. I saw your face when you handed that list to Danforth. Do you really think that someone from your past is doing this?”

“Connor does.” Angel sampled the bitter wind. “I do. Justine stole Connor as an infant. That was less than ten years ago Buffy. Maybe she ran off to live her life normally after Wes let her go. Maybe she tried to play Slayer and died. Or maybe she just stole my grandchild. Eve might have survived the destruction of Wolfram and Hart, and I killed the man she gave up her immortality for. She could want revenge. For all I know, it’s those damn gypsies finally coming to pay me back for murdering Jenny.”

“And maybe it’s some sicko who followed a pregnant woman to an isolated place and took a baby for her own. Pete’s right. You hear about something like that at least once a year,” Buffy countered. “I know I said I was okay with you doing what you had to but if this was done by a human...” She couldn’t meet his eyes. “I’m not sure vengeance is the right thing, Angel. This isn’t a punishment from God or the Powers or whatever it is you two are thinking.”

“I wish I was as sure as you, Buffy,” Angel replied, turning onto University Boulevard.

“I’m not saying it doesn’t go back to your past, or Connor’s, just that you two aren’t responsible for this. Someone did this to Thalia, to Connor. You’re victims. You didn’t bring it on yourselves,” Buffy argued.

“Maybe not but you have a unique perspective on this, Buffy,” Angel countered, as the wind picked up.

She tucked her chin down against the cold. “How so?”

“You’ve been in heaven. Connor and I have only tasted of hell,” Angel said softly.

Buffy swallowed hard, not knowing what else to say. Angel ignored her distress. He had to find his son and he had no idea where to look. He was content to stalk the city in silence, and not having to think about the horrible stuff he knew was lurking just around the corner of time. There weren’t any bright days on the horizon but the shadows suited him just fine.

X X X

Darla sponged Liam off on the changing table then dried his tender skin gently. He squirmed and cooed as she worked. After she got the disposable diaper on - what a marvel. What she wouldn’t have done for those with her first children? - Darla played with Liam’s tiny toes. As she recited the little piggies, she could have sworn he was smiling at her. She didn’t know what was so alluring about baby toes but they just begged to be played with.

 

Liam was a plump little baby, she thought trying to get the wiggler into his clothes. Darla carried him into the other room, stopping to get a bottle. There was something about the smell of a baby that was sweet and like nothing else in the world. What woman wouldn’t want to keep skin as soft and textureless as a newborn? As Liam nursed greedily - and he was a such greedy baby. He could guzzle down a bottle with ease and still be crying for more - Darla thought about what was going on in her newest life. Something didn’t make sense, mainly her role in this drama. No one would go through the difficulties and expense of resurrecting her just to play nanny. There had to be something more and Darla dreaded learning what it was.

Liam finished his bottle so she put him over her shoulder, marveling again at the miracles of this age. No wonder women were no longer tethered to their homes. Fake milk in a bottle designed to keep babies from getting gas, plastic nipples, diapers that didn’t require scrubbing, mobiles and music boxes. It almost made having a newborn to care for easy. In her day, her only option had been to turn the baby over to a wet nurse, and she had amassed enough fortune with her body and the bodies of others to easily afford such a nurse. Still, she had nursed her own babies and let the maids do to rest. Darla knew what men liked and bigger breasts such as nursing gave her, were on the list.

Liam let out a little burp but continued to fuss. When another burp didn’t follow, Darla moved him to the crook of her arm, looking down at his cherub face. Liam fussed worse so she turned him to face the TV. No wonder Lindsey used to have cable. There was nothing of worth on in the day on free TV, talk shows, people suing for ridiculous crap, soap operas. She opted for the soaps since it reminded her of Spike and Dru and better, simpler times. Liam settled down in his new position.

“So that’s what you want, young man.” She stroked his hair. “You don’t want a close up view of my chest. You want to see the world.” Darla had leafed through the books Eve had brought her about caring for a baby, as if she needed a book. Still, it was interesting what they knew now about how curious babies were and how colors and textures stimulated them. To that end, Darla picked up the stuffed toy that had been provided. It was a cute little octopus, with arms of fabrics of different colors and textures. Some arms made crinkly noises and all had rattles or bells at the end. Its nose would light up and it would wiggle. Darla hit the nose and as the toy jiggled, Liam’s eyes lit up. He reached for the toy. She put an arm of the thing in his tiny hand and he held tight.

Darla offered Liam her finger and his little fingers closed over hers. A baby’s grip was amazingly strong. She just watched in silent wonder at how perfect he was. Had she loved her children this much? Maybe. It was too long ago to remember. She loved her son, that she didn’t doubt and now she was very much in love with the tiny life she held in her hands.

Darla pulled Liam closer, hearing someone at the door. She longed for vampire hearing to give her warning, the sense of smell that would tell her if it was just Eve or that brute she brought with her. She had to wait until the door opened to find out it was just Eve. She glared at the skinny woman. “What now?”

Eve just smirked. “Just checking on my investment. How is the brat?”

“He’s fine,” Darla said, her eyes not leaving Eve’s. She cradled her grandson protectively. “Better without having to look at you.”

“I won’t stay long. I’m meeting with Gene at the Blue Velvet Lounge.” Eve tossed her long hair back. “I just wanted to make sure you two were still healthy and hadn’t done anything dumb.”

“What could I do, bitch? I can’t get out of here, and I wouldn’t hurt the baby.” Darla looked at Eve suspiciously. “Why tell me where you’re going?”

“Like it could hurt to tell you.” Eve shrugged. “Oh, that’s right, you don’t know it’s barely a mile from Angel’s home. Gene and I can have a few martinis and stroll past his place like tourists and enjoy the tragic show.”

Darla curled her lip. How dare this woman belittle Angel’s pain, her son’s agony? “Is that all this is to you? A silly game? Why did you bring me back, Eve? It can’t be just to be a nursemaid to my grandson.”

“Oh, the _Dawl Irrifletta_ has plans for you but for now, this will do, so you be a good little mommy. I’ll tell Connor you said hi.” Eve waved at her and cut the visit mercifully short.

Darla wanted to kill Eve slowly. So there was a plan for her beyond this but she still didn’t know what. Cradling Liam, she went to the door and kicked the very solid metal. “Damn it, baby, we’re getting out of here before the plan gets worse.” Darla’s eyes widened, and she pointed to the hinges. “Look, Liam. I can’t get the door open but if I can get those hinges apart, we can get out of here.” Darla smiled having a goal to work toward but she couldn’t get Eve’s words out of her mind. Poor Angel, the woman who had turned his world upside down was just down the street at the Blue Velvet lounge, and Darla was sure Eve was smart enough not to get caught.

 

X X X

 

Connor didn’t know what he was doing in this place. He had wandered the central part of the city for hours, lost. Angel and Spike hadn’t found a trail the night before when it was still fresher, and while he knew Angel would have done anything to find his grandson, to avenge Thalia, Connor’s heart wouldn’t allow him not to try himself.

The only thing he could smell at the scene of the crime - and he needed that term to get distance from his pain or it would kill him - were the typical scents of an arson fire, burnt wood and plastics, chemicals used to smother the flames, accelerants. Even if he had been here last night with his father, even if he knew who in the hell he was tracking, he wouldn’t have been able to pick up a scent trail any more than the vampires had.

He huddled in a corner of the Blue Velvet lounge, wondering why he was here. The ambiance did suit his mood. All the art deco fixtures glowed with soft blue light, though the blue inside of him was far more midnight. Something had drawn him to the bar, like a soft feminine whispering. He could almost imagine it was Thalia’s spirit saying ‘follow me’ and he had. It was better than sitting in Angel’s house with nothing to do but brood on his pain and be stared at by the big sorrowful eyes of his friends and family. He couldn’t go back to his house and see his sister-in-law and his niece and nephew. Connor wasn’t sure he could ever go back to that house, surrounded by Thalia’s ghost, seeing her out of the corner of his eye, smelling her sweet scent in their room, tasting her cooking every time he looked at those big refrigerators. He couldn’t go back there and see a nursery that might remain forever empty.

Connor wiped tears from his face, wondering if he’d be asked to leave since he wasn’t drinking and was acting strange. The Blue Velvet wasn’t the kind of bar you came to to get drunk and forget. He and Thalia had been there only one or twice. It was the kind of bar where the young and pretty went to pay ridiculous amounts of money for trendy martinis. The Blue Velvet was a place to be seen and show off. He was one of the few under-dressed people around. He should just leave. He’d find no answers here. He wasn’t sure there were answers anywhere.

A thin woman passed him, clinging to the arm of a tall, square man who looked more like hired muscle than a date. Maybe he was one of those fading jocks, Connor didn’t care. He wouldn’t have noticed them if the woman hadn’t done a strange thing. She lifted her electric blue martini at him, grinning over the rim of the glass. It was like she had a secret that he should be in on but wasn’t. He watched them leave, puzzled, feeling deep down there was more to this than what was on the surface but it wasn’t a mystery he could solve. There were too many missing pieces.

X X X

“Spike said he and Illyria will keep up the search,” Buffy said as Angel pulled his car into his driveway. “They haven’t seen any signs of him.”

Angel wagged his head, getting out. “It’s a big enough city to hide in.”

Buffy nodded toward the house. “Maybe Giles will have a spell or something that can help.” She knew Connor hadn’t come home. They had already called her Watcher.

Angel just headed away from the house, stalking down the hill. “We looked everywhere but close to home. State Street isn’t far from here.” He didn’t wait to see if she was following him. Angel knew she would. State Street was one of the few places they hadn’t driven to; It was just a few blocks away, after all, and he figured his son would range out further than that. His son was somewhere, and he needed to find him to make sure Connor was all right, well as all right as he could possibly be.

“Why would he go there? It’s nothing but bars and restaurants and shops,” Buffy said, making a wry face.

What she didn’t say but meant was, ‘it’s full of happy people.’ Angel just kept walking. “Call it a hunch.”

Buffy didn’t argue. Together they popped into every bar and restaurant they could find and scouted around for Connor. It wasn’t until they walked into the Blue Velvet that they found him. Angel’s heart lurched, seeing the lost, frightened expression on his son’s face. If Angel could have seen himself in the mirror back when Holtz had taken Connor, he didn’t doubt this was the look he would have seen.

 

“Connor, what are you doing here?” Angel’s nose told him his son hadn’t been drinking. It was as he was just drifting through like smoke.

Connor shook his head and walked past Angel as if he didn’t even see him. He waited for the vampire on the sidewalk. “I don’t know why I came here...like something guided me.” He shrugged. “Nonsense since there’s nothing here to see.” He turned to Angel. “Why did you follow me?”

“I’ve been looking for you all night long,” Angel said, running a hand over Connor’s arm. “I was scared to death when you left without a word.”

Connor rolled his shoulders, utterly unconcerned or was he just too numb? Angel couldn’t guess. “I needed to look for the people who did this to me. You wouldn’t take me with you.”

“You were in no shape last night,” Buffy said gently. “We would have taken you tonight.”

Connor’s lips thinned. “I’m alone. I’m used to it.”

“You are not alone, Connor,” Angel said, feeling that familiar twist of his gut, the one that came just before the inevitable tearing out of his heart. “You know that. I’ll always be here, and I won’t stop until we find little Stephen.” Angel had hoped by accepting that name for the baby he could prove to Connor he could and would do anything for him. Seeing his child’s eyes harden, he knew it had somehow been a mistake.

“I’ve never needed help from you. It’s too late to pretend to be here for me now,” Connor growled, spinning on his heel. He started back in the direction of Angel’s home. “Don’t follow me. I’m just going back to the house.”

Angel watched him go, tears streaking down his face. “What did I do wrong?”

Buffy put her arms around him. “Nothing. Angel, it’s Connor’s problem.” She reached up and wiped the tears away. “Let’s go back inside. Let Connor have his space for now, and I’ll tell you why Thalia called us.”

Angel sucked in a deep breath to calm himself. He put his hand in Buffy’s and let her take him to a table. All he really wanted was to follow Connor but he knew Buffy was right. That would be a huge mistake. There was no taking a table without a drink so he just let Buffy order a Starry Night Martini for him and a Chocolate Raspberry one for herself, and tried not to think on the twenty dollars just shot on two drinks neither of them really wanted. “What do you know about this, Buffy? Thalia told you something,” Angel said once the waitress moved off.

She nodded taking a sip of the silky drink. “Connor thinks you abandoned him, Angel and you following him here from L.A...that doesn’t count, except maybe in some kind of creepy stalkerish way.”

Angel’s eyes widened. How could his son feel abandoned when he had given up everything for him? “I don’t understand.” He spun the stem of the martini glass in his hands to keep himself from rushing back into the night after Connor to demand answers.

Buffy licked her lips. “You ordered that big spell, rewrote large hunks of history to give Connor a new happy life and you gave him to strangers, Angel. He doesn’t understand why you didn’t do the spell and make him love you, keep him with you.”

Angel nearly knocked his Starry Night onto the floor. Technically vampires couldn’t lose their breath but he felt like he had. “What?”

“I told Thalia I knew why. You want everyone to have these normal happy white picketed lives whether or not we want them.” Buffy smiled thinly. “Connor doesn’t understand that, Angel. To him, giving him to the Reillys meant you just wanted him away from you. He doesn’t understand that you loved him enough to give him a normal life. He thinks you tossed him aside.”

Angel choked back the tears. “That’s not...oh God. All this time...he thinks I don’t love him? He thinks I just helped him and moved on to my next project?”

“Yes, basically,” Buffy said, sternly. Angel appreciated her honesty. He needed that more than he did soothed feelings. “It took all Connor had to confess that to Thalia. And she was afraid he’d get so mad that he’d leave her if she told. She decided the baby’s happiness was worth the risk.”

Angel buried his face in his hands. “Buffy, how do I fix this?”

“Tell him the truth. Tell him Thalia broke his confidence. Tell him why you really did it. Tell him you love him until he believes it,” Buffy said strongly, touching his arm. “He panicked when you told him you’d leave him if that would make him happy. He wants you to love him, Angel. You might need a sledgehammer to make him believe you but you have those.”

Angel lifted his face, summoning up a melancholy smile for her. “I might need your help to pin him down to listen to me.”

“I’ll break his legs if need be.” She grinned then her lips fell. “If we don’t find his baby, Angel...I’m not sure he can survive this.”

“I know, Buffy. I’ve been there.” Angel looked around the bar. “He’s right though, there’s something like this, like a lingering memory or scent that I just can’t place.”

“We can leave staking it out to Giles and Dawn while we do legwork around the city,” Buffy suggested.

 

Angel nodded. “Let’s go home. I need to be with him...I won’t talk to him tonight. I know that mood he’s in. Tomorrow, after he’s rested a bit and either he believes me or he doesn’t.”

“He will, if I have to beat him into submission myself,” Buffy said, trying to give Angel hope. “Tomorrow we’ll make him sing for Lorne, too. We all can. Maybe he can give us a place to look.”

Angel hoped so, too. Lorne hadn’t been much help when Connor had disappeared but maybe it wasn’t his fault. Angel would hope that something would break tomorrow before his grandson was too long gone. And when he got the baby back, he’d christen the boy Stephen himself if he had to. Thalia’s last wish would be carried out.  
 


	7. Heroics

CHAPTER SEVEN

“I don’t understand. Why won’t they release her body?” Larissa sobbed in her husband’s arms. Her children, the three year old twins, playing in the living room of Angel’s large home, were too young to understand the tragedy unfolding around them but every so often their mother’s distress upset them.

“She was the victim,” Connor said, feeling very ill-equipped to handle Thalia’s sister. Even at the best of times, he had found the histrionic woman a bit annoying, always afraid he was being found wanting for his lack of Greekness. He liked her in spite of it but there were times she was like salt in the wound. “It takes longer...the police need her body I guess.”

“But we have to bury her,” Larissa wailed and her children paused for a moment at their mother’s tone then resumed playing.

“Have they even managed to find a lead to the baby?” her husband, Nicolas, asked, as if it were a personal affront that they hadn’t.

Connor choked, unable to respond. Buffy was there in a heartbeat. It was as if she had appointed herself his guardian angel and he was grateful. Standing at her side, Angel looked just as lost as Connor felt.

“Not yet but they’re trying,” she said, looking back at Dawn who was working on the computer. Connor knew she was trying to hack into the coroner’s report to see if that could give them more clues. She was trying to do it while avoiding pictures of the autopsy. No one could handle those.

“How can they not find who did this?” Larissa shrilled, and Connor just wanted her gone. He knew she was in pain, too, but she was making everything so much worse.

“They seem to be working hard to make Connor look guilty,” Nicolas said, annoyed.

“Which is insane. They’re wasting time,” Larissa said, her eyes narrowing with ire.

Connor shook his head. “It’s the way it’s done. I sort of know these cops. They’re good, at least on other arson-murder cases I’ve been involved with. They always start with the family.”

“But surely they’ll believe us when we tell them that you’re not guilty,” Larissa said, calmer now but more angry in tone than hysterical like she had been.

“They are looking at other angles,” Buffy said, looking like she wanted Larissa gone, too.

“Not fast enough,” Larissa said in a disgusted tone.

Nicolas caught Connor’s eye, giving him an apologetic look. He put a hand on his wife’s back. “We should maybe go back to the house and work on what funeral preparations we can make. Are you coming with us, Connor?”

“Nicolas,” Larissa said sharply and he looked at her, stunned.

Connor knew what it was about. He wasn’t Greek Orthodox, a minor sin. “It’s okay, Nick. You and Larissa would know better about Greek funerals. All I want is lilacs. They were Thalia’s favorites.” His breath caught sharply then regained his composure. “I’ll stay here in case the police come looking for me. The twins don’t need to hear that.”

Nicolas shot him a look of relief as if knowing Larissa needed to do all the arranging, and Connor was just as happy to let her. “We’ll call if we need you.”

Connor nodded and showed them out. He came back in and collapsed on the couch. “Find anything, Dawn?”

“Nothing we didn’t already know,” she said guardedly. She hunched over the computer as if to shield it from him. “Nothing you looking at this would help.”

He buried his face against a couch pillow. “I don’t want to see.”

Dawn relaxed a bit, relieved to not have to forcibly shield the screen from him. “I wish there was something more I could tell you,” Dawn said as Lorne came into the room slowly as if checking to make sure the Mundanes were all gone.

“Anything I can do, Angel-cakes?” Lorne gave Connor a hesitant look as he sidled over to Angel and added softly, “I wish I could do something to help but I’ve never known what to do...for him.”

Connor wished the demon wouldn’t talk about him like he wasn’t there. He understood that no one knew how to handle his grief but it made him feel even more isolated.

“Maybe I could sing for you,” Angel suggested, with all the enthusiasm of going for a sun bath.

“No, I’ll do it,” Connor said and Lorne and Angel stared at him, shocked. He stood up, looking Lorne in the eye. “It’s my wife who’s dead, my son who’s missing. I should be the one to sing.”

“Of course.” Lorne took a seat as if prepared to be knocked on his butt from whatever he might get off of Connor’s aura. Buffy and Dawn stood behind him, as if physical support might be needed. “Go ahead.”

Connor never sang much. His voice wasn’t as bad as Angel’s but it was rusty. Even with Angel’s spell, music felt foreign to him; a language he didn’t understand. He surrounded himself with cds because he liked the way music rolled over him but he didn’t sing. The song that surfaced wasn’t one he was expecting but there it was in his mind; not something tender like he’d hoped to sing for his child. Instead it came from his repertoire of pain-filled songs about fathers and sons and disappointments. Maybe it made sense that would bubble up now, all the fears and resentments. He sang hesitantly at first.

_To my mother, to my father,_  
It’s your son or it’s your daughter,  
Are my screams loud enough for you to hear me?  
Should I turn this up for you? 

_I sit here locked inside my head_  
Remembering everything you said  
The silence gets us nowhere!  
Gets us nowhere way too fast! 

He didn’t watch Lorne’s face. If he saw the demon react, he might falter. However, he did keep an eye on Angel’s face, watching it develop cracks that slowly widened with each lyric.

_The silence is what kills me_  
I need someone here to help me  
But you don’t know how to listen  
And let me make my decisions 

_‘Cause I sit here locked_  
inside my head remembering everything you said  
The silence gets us nowhere!  
Gets us nowhere way too fast! 

_All your insults and your curses make_  
me feel like I’m not a person  
And I feel like I am nothing but  
you made me so do something  
‘Cause I’m fucked up because you are  
Need attention, attention you couldn’t give 

By the time he was done, Angel had turned away, and Connor’s throat closed over, choking off the final refrain.

Lorne got up, putting a hand on Connor’s shoulder. “That’s enough.”

Connor got a hint that Lorne wasn’t going to be greatly helpful. Then again, was he ever?

“There is something big coming for you,” Lorne said slowly, as if he were weighing the words for their worth, “as life changing as what’s already happened to you, Connor.”

Connor wondered briefly why Lorne never called him by any cutesy names like he did everyone else. Was it that Lorne just couldn’t think of anything fitting or did the demon still dislike him? He put the stray thought out of mind as he tried to wrap his head around what Lorne had said. “What does that mean? You don’t know where my son is, do you?”

Lorne shook his head. “I’m sorry but...I don’t see a darkness. I get the impression that you will find him but I can’t tell you more than that.”

Connor sighed, feeling what little hope he had drain out of him. He should have known that this was too easy. “Thanks, Lorne, for trying.” Connor wanted to run out of the house, wanted to just run. It didn’t matter where to. Only it would get him nowhere. His gaze traveled over to his father. For the first time he thought maybe he understood how Angel had felt when he had gone missing. It gave him an unsettling insight into his father. Angel’s bouts of alternating clingy-ness and disappointment made sense now. If his father felt half as lost as he did, Connor didn’t know how Angel had survived.

“Connor, can we talk?” Angel asked softly.

Great, he should have picked a better song. The lyrics probably got the wheels turning in Angel’s little brain. Now he’d have to deal with him. “About what?” The harshness snarled out before Connor could stop it.

Angel winced. “There are things we need to talk about.”

Connor threw his head back. “The last thing I need to do now is to talk to you. Don’t I already have enough trauma?” He whirled, heading for the door.

“Connor, please stop. This is important,” Angel said, coming after him.

“We have nothing to talk about.” Connor ran out into the sun and to his surprise, Angel followed, jumping back unto the shade only when he started smoking.

“Connor, please.” The tone of Angel’s voice was gut wrenching.

“Later, Dad. I just need to be alone. It’s too much,” Connor said brokenly, crossing the road and went over the hill to where Lake Mendota sprawled like a shimmering but cloudy jewel.

Connor sat watching the boats for a while. There were only a few of them at this time of year but there were gulls wheeling about. It was cold even though the sun was out, spreading false cheer. It was too lonely at the water’s edge. All he could see was Thalia’s face, imagining her final agony, thinking about the son neither of them may ever see. Was his baby alive? He knew the statistics weren’t in his favor but someone had to have taken the baby for a reason. That meant his son might still be alive and that was more heartbreaking than comforting in some odd way. There were no leads. The tiny hope he had nurtured at Lorne’s reading had been stillborn. Now he had no clues, and his brain was too clouded for rational thought.

He got up and death marched toward State Street. What had Angel done when he was kidnapped? The vampire said he tried everything to find him. Did everything mean flailing around desperately while it felt like he was falling apart? Yes, it probably did.

Connor paid little heed to the shops and restaurants as he wandered around aimlessly. He scared a few slightly too well dressed panhandlers away with mere glares. How long would it take before his feet led him to the Angelic Brewery? Getting plastered sounded good to him but Thalia had loved the Scottish ale there. Could he ever go back without thinking of her?

Patchouli smoke billowing out of the Shakti store lured him in, in spite of what it did to his delicate nose. Thalia had liked the store, being more into the spiritual than the religious though she never dared tell that to her very Greek Orthodox family. Connor shared her belief in a higher being as opposed to any structured religion. Inside the small store with the old wooden floor giving with each step as if it would break, Connor moved to one corner thinking on the heady scent of the patchouli. Thalia liked to wear essential oils, rose, sandalwood, orange and patchouli. The last one was for nights of seduction and even now the scent of it made his testicles tighten.

Connor put a hand over his eyes, trying not to cry. How could he possibly have tears left? He should be as dry as the Dierk Expanse in Quor-Toth for all the tears he had shed. Someone touched his shoulder, and he whirled, nearly taking out a shelf of happily grinning Buddhas and chubby naked Goddesses. He found himself eye to eye with Buffy. “What are you doing here?”

Her smile was as enigmatic as the Mona Lisa’s. “Looking for you, of course. Danforth called. She and Zuelsdorff are on their way to Angel’s. They found something on the surveillance cameras from across the street. They want us all to have a look.”

Connor felt hope sparking in him. He didn’t even wait for Buffy. He shoved his way out of the shop and took off for Angel’s home on Pinckney. It was almost a mile straight up a hill and he took it at a dead run. Buffy loped along beside him. They passed a couple of joggers who glared at the speed and ease the super-powered beings ate up sidewalk. Connor nearly tripped over a tuxedo cat who was sunning on the sidewalk just south of Angel’s home. Connor darted up the porch steps, past the four, greened, wrought bronze columns and through the arched doorway.

Dawn and Giles looked up from the paperwork they were filing away before the cops found out they hacked into the coroner’s files. Wiping sweat from his forehead, Connor knew he’d need to see that report whether he wanted to or not. Buffy moved past him to go get a drink from the kitchen.

“Where’s Angel?”

“Talking to Lorne.” Giles nodded towards the basement which led to a tunnel that went to the gym just behind the place. Connor realized the demon would be there keeping out of sight for when the police came.

“The detectives aren’t here yet, Connor. Is there anything I can get for you?” Dawn asked.

He shook his head and sank onto the couch. “I’m fine, thanks,” he lied. There was nothing Dawn could do to help him. Connor curled up. The spicy scent of patchouli clung to his skin, and he tried not to think about making love to his wife the morning of her death. At least they had parted ways very much in love and not fighting about him and Angel. Connor stayed in a ball until a weight took up residence on the couch pillow next to him. He opened his eyes, not surprised to see Angel. “I’m not in the mood to talk.”

“It can wait...but not for too much longer,” Angel said, a look in his eye that said he realized he was pushing his luck. “It’s important.”

Connor said nothing to that. “What did the detectives say?”

“Just that they wanted us to have a look at something,” Angel replied as Buffy came out with a tea tray.

“I know you said you didn’t want anything, Connor, but a little tea will take the chill off of you.” Buffy grinned. “I’ve been hanging around him too long. I think tea can fix anything.” She nodded at Giles.

Connor smiled. “Thanks.” He didn’t unball himself until Angel fixed a cup and handed it to him. Connor only got two sips before the doorbell rang.

Dawn went to answer it and she came back with Danforth only.

Connor raised an eyebrow. “You’re alone.”

Danforth nodded, taking a seat in a chair without waiting for an invite. “My partner is showing the stills to your sister-in-law.”

“Where did you get them?” Connor asked, his heart thumping. He had to know if they caught images of Thalia’s killer.

Danforth eyed him, judging his words to see if they were nervous and guilty or merely curious and hopeful. Connor knew they would be found to be the latter. This was as much hope as he had felt since his world shattered. “From the jewelry store across the street. They always have best security camera, them and liquor stores.” A faint smile ghosted over her lips. Danforth produced the stills from the digital recording. “The fire broke out not long after these two people showed up. The woman goes in first and then the man. They don’t come back out again so we’re assuming they went out the back.”

“There wouldn’t be any surveillance there,” Angel said as the front door opened.

Everyone was surprised to see Spike and Illyria. The vampire was a little smoky from racing in from next door but Connor figured Danforth would attribute it to the cigarette dangling from his mouth. The one thing about the city street, the houses were packed so tight sunlight had to fight between the buildings. The vampire and Illyria lived just two houses down the road in a more modest home. Spike had obviously slipped lake-ward using the shadows. Danforth gave them a curious look, her eyes lingering on Illyria but Connor knew she wasn’t any more peculiar looking than the teens who patronized the Cat’s Meow goth shop back in the State Street District.

“We just came to lend...moral support,” Spike said, his eyes on Danforth. “Did we pick a bad time?”

“No,” Angel said. “This is Detective Danforth. Detective, these are some more friends of the family, Spike and Illyria.” Angel nodded for Spike and Illyria to take up residence near the fireplace, out of the way. “The detective was just about to show us some photos of the last people into Thalia’s shop.”

Connor took the stills from Danforth and his heart broke again. The damnedable tears welled up again as he paged through them. “I don’t know either of them...” He took a closer look. “But I think I might have seen them at the Blue Velvet last night. Angel?” He looked to his father for rescue, handing him the pictures. Buffy reached over the back of the couch, stroking Connor’s shoulders.

Angel flipped quickly past the ones of the man, no recognition on his face. His eyes widened, his pupils spiraling open as he got to the one of the woman. He got up and showed them to Spike. “Am I crazy or is that...?”

Spike looked. “Looks like that sleazy bint, Eve.”

Illyria peered over Spike’s shoulder. “There is a resemblance.”

“Eve?” Connor asked, confused and angry. “I don’t know an Eve.”

“That was one of the names on your list, Mr. Reilly,” Danforth said, getting up. She approached Angel, eyes hard and eager.

Angel nodded, his eyes on the pictures. “She was the liaison to the Senior Partners for Wolfram and Hart. You never met her, Connor.”

“Lucky you,” Spike muttered, shooting Connor an inscrutable look.

“Why would she want to do this to your brother?” Danforth asked, taking the pictures.

Angel shook his head, horror so ingrained in his face that Connor would be surprised if it ever faded away. “I don’t know. I cost Eve her job but that was several years ago.”

“She and her boyfriend played me for a sucker back then,” Spike said. “She could be vindictive but even I wouldn’t have pegged her for something like this.”

“We can’t help you with motive,” Angel said his voice rough. “We don’t even know her last name, if she even has one. I used to sign her paperwork and the only name I had was Eve.”

Danforth shrugged. “It’s a start. Wolfram and Hart, Los Angeles, right?”

Angel nodded, his eyes on Connor now. Connor couldn’t look at him. This is what being Angel’s son meant, this horrible pain. He wanted Angel to be dust. “Right.”

“Thanks for your help. This is a good break. I’ll start working it immediately,” Danforth said, taking steps towards the door. “And I may have more questions for you, Angel.”

“Of course.”

Once Connor heard the front door shut, he looked at Angel. “What the hell did you do to this woman? Why would she do this to me?”

Angel touched Connor’s cheek and he jerked away. Angel dropped his hand, looking crushed. “I didn’t do anything to her. The Senior Partners came after her, and I even protected her, thinking they were going to kill her. All they did was strip away her immortality because she was a lousy employee, and she was in love with Lindsey. As much as I would have liked to kill her, I didn’t, even though at the time she was the only one who knew about the spell and you. At the end when we went to face Black Thorn’s hordes, I told her to escape.”

“Well, she did,” Connor laughed bitterly. “Thanks, Dad.”

“I had no idea she would do something like this. I couldn’t possibly have known,” Angel said, helplessly. He seemed small, utterly diminished.

“If you helped her, why would she do this?” Dawn asked, putting a hand on Angel’s shoulder.

“He had her boyfriend killed,” Spike offered with an apologetic look.

“He was evil,” Illyria added.

“Great, she’s pissed because you offed her lover, and now she’s taken my son and murdered my wife,” Connor snarled. “Damn, when do the benefits of being your son stop coming?”

Angel’s eyes misted over as Buffy took his hand. “Connor, I’m sorry. I didn’t...” Angel looked away, unable to meet Connor’s eye. “I never wanted anything bad to happen to you.”

Connor couldn’t bear to hear it. He snapped around and headed for the door. “Don’t follow me.”

He hadn’t even gotten off the front porch before a primal scream of rage tore out of him, echoing in the eaves. Connor ran, trying to escape himself. He didn’t know how far or how long he had ran, barely aware of how close he had come many times to getting run down by passing cars. He didn’t know where he was when he found a park bench to curl up on. He shut out the world and wept.

**Author’s Note** The lyrics Connor sung are, I believe, part of the original challenge this story was written for. It’s _For You_ by Staind.

X X X

Liam’s screams bounced around the room as Darla changed his diaper with banged up fingers. How could something so little make a stink so big? As she wiped him clean, Darla wondered how Angel handled changing Connor’s diapers with the sharpness of a vampire’s nose. She deep-sixed the diaper and wipes, and Liam’s cries slowed as she powdered his tiny bottom. Darla leaned over and tickled his chin.

“That feels better doesn’t it?”

Liam giggled, his arms and legs waving. He suddenly fountained all over Darla’s breasts. She looked down at her urine soaked shirt then at the baby. He seemed inordinately pleased with himself. Darla sighed. “You waited until you were all cleaned up to do that, didn’t you?”

Darla re-cleaned him, got him safely diapered and set him in the crib, which wasn’t what he wanted. Liam wailed mercilessly while she stripped off her shirt and bra, tossing them in the tub. She wiped off and pulled on a soft cotton shirt, sans bra then went to rescue her grandson from the awful fate of screaming himself blue. He settled as soon as he was picked up.

“You are so spoiled already,” she accused, tapping his cherub lips with a finger. He blew a bubble of spit at her nicked up finger. Darla had tried her best to batter the hinges open but she wasn’t getting anywhere fast having no real tools. The best thing she had was a now-bent spatula. Liam fastened onto her shirt with drool-slicked fingers then started rooting for a nipple. Darla hiked him up higher out of temptation’s way and Liam contented himself with stuffing the ends of her hair into his mouth. She went over to look at the stubborn hinges. “I don’t think this is going to work.”

Poised at the door, Darla was able to hear the rumble of the elevator. Someone was coming. She knew she had to do something now because she would never get out of the fortress on her own. She stuffed Liam into his snuggler, leaving him on the couch, and he protested loudly. Darla popped a pacifier into his mouth and grabbed up another one, which was on a stretchy string. She draped it over her neck, putting it under her shirt and darted into the kitchen. She grabbed one bottle of cleaning spray and ran back out to Liam. She put the snuggler on and waited at the door.

When Gene opened the door, Darla sprayed him in the eyes with the cleaner. He fell back howling. Darla shoved past him, spraying Eve, too, but she was already jumping back. Eve went to her knees, coughing. Darla didn’t get her in the eyes but the bitch had breathed in a good amount of the toxic mist. Darla, cleaner still in hand, raced for the elevator. Liam bounced against her chest, his voice shrill in her eyes as the infant let his fear be known.

“Shh, baby, we’re almost out of here!” Darla saw the stairs just beyond the elevator. She didn’t risk the elevator being keyed. The stairs were a better bet. Her fingers were a hairbreadth from the knob of the fire door when something cracked like thunder and it felt like lightning had kissed her thigh. Darla felt her leg going out from under her, and she lost her grip on the cleaning bottle. She managed to twist to land on her back instead of on top Liam. She smelled the familiar perfume of blood as it blossomed out of her leg. Darla tried to crawl and push the door open.

“Don’t make me shoot you again, you bitch. I don’t want to hit the baby.” Eve coughed and spat, holding the gun in a shaking hand.

Darla risked the second bullet but Gene was on her, grabbing her good ankle. She couldn’t kick him with her shot leg. It didn’t want to move. His face was red and blistered from the cleaning chemicals.

“What do you want me to do with her?” Gene snarled, looking up at Eve.

Eve kicked Darla in the gut and stole Liam away while the woman was breathless. “Kill her. To hell with what the _Dawl Irrifletta_ might want to do with her. They can be happy with the freak baby for their experiments.”

“No!” Darla cried. “Don’t hurt him.”

Eve just laughed coldly, heading for the elevator.

Gene grabbed Darla’s pants and yanked them down. She hissed in pain as it made her leg bleed faster. “You and I going to have some fun first, bitch.”

Darla punched, clawed and bit at him but she wasn’t strong enough to fight him off. Her fists no longer had any real power but his did as they battered her face. His strong fingers closed over her throat as he drove into her and as he crushed the life out of her, Darla fought him, thinking about her grandson until the blackness came.

 

X X X

Angel wasn’t too surprised to find Connor just over the hill from the house, staring out over the water. A fat full moon hung over Mendota, bathing everything with silvery light. In the summer, lovers usually curled up where Connor was now. Angel knew his son had come here often with Thalia. He sat next to him, trying to think of what to say. He couldn’t express his sorrow adequately. If not for him, Thalia would be alive and his son would be happy. Nothing could fix this.

“I know you’re not to blame, Angel,” Connor said without turning to look at him. The words were almost a comfort but he wished that Connor would try to call him dad. It hurt that he almost never did. 

“I am,” he said softly.

Connor shook his head. “The only person to blame is Eve. Did you actually kill her lover?”

“Lindsey...and I tried hard to save him, too, Connor. In the end, he let greed and hatred destroy him. I think if he hadn’t loved your mother...” Angel paused as Connor’s head swiveled around at that. “Yes, he loved your mother for that brief time she was human again and even afterward, but it got into his soul that I had stolen her from her; that I had stolen Wolfram and Hart and taken everything that was him away from him. It was me or him, and I sent Lorne to kill him. It might have been a mistake. It surely wasn’t a shining moment for me. I’m sorry Thalia and your son paid for what I did.” Angel tossed a stone out into the water.

“I know you loved Thalia and that you would have loved our child,” Connor whispered.

“I did and I will when we get him back,” Angel said, not allowing doubt into his voice. Connor had enough doubt without shouldering his as well. Angel knew the time had come for the talk. If he didn’t repair things now when Connor was in a somewhat forgiving mood, he’d never have a better chance. “Connor, I know you don’t want to talk to me, not really but I have to say this so please listen.” Angel didn’t let him have a chance to object. “I know what it is about me that has you so angry. Thalia told Buffy...she was going to tell me the night of the fire.”

Connor tensed, his eyes darkening. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t be angry. Thalia didn’t want to but she also didn’t want us hating each other in front of the baby. She died trying to help us, and I’m not going to let that pass,” he said strongly.

“Go to hell.” Connor jumped to his feet.

“Eventually.” Angel grabbed his son’s belt loops and yanked him down hard. “Now listen to me. I’m not going to let you walk off, Connor, and you are going to do what Thalia wanted and listen. I never meant to hurt you, Connor. I had no idea that I had...well, that’s not true. I knew something was wrong but I didn’t know what. I was so hopeful after you regained your memories, after you helped me defeat Hamilton, that you and I would have this bright future together. I watched it crumble away, and I could never piece together why. You never gave me any clues. All I saw was you slipping further and further away. All I wanted was to have my son back, and all I got was your hatred.”

“You never wanted me back,” Connor hissed, his eyes slits of sapphire. “Once you realized I was never going to be the son of your dreams, you never had time for me.”

“You’re wrong,” Angel shot back. “Yes, it hurt to lose out on your whole life. You’re understanding that now. I can see it in your eyes. You understand now what Holtz really did to us, and I’ll do whatever I have to, to make sure you don’t miss out on any more of your baby’s life. Yes, it hurt to get back Holtz’s son but I still love you. I’ve always loved you and wanted to be part of your life.”

Connor curled his lip at him. “Is that why you gave me to strangers the first chance you got?”

The broken glass tone in his son’s voice told Angel Thalia had been right. This was the source of Connor’s agony. Angel let the tears fall. Let Connor witness his anguish. “The hardest thing I have ever done was give you away, Connor. You hated me. This life drove you mad. So I gave you what I thought you needed, what I thought you wanted. You said you wanted a family so I gave it to you. You got a family who loved you, who had enough money to give you everything you could possibly want, a sister to adore you. It was what you wanted, and I wanted it for you. I knew I would never see you again but I was willing to bear that torment to give you your heart’s content.” He cupped Connor’s chin. “How was I to know your dream wasn’t to have a normal family but rather to be with me? You never gave me a clue about that until after the spell...until after it was too late.”

Connor sucked in his bottom lip, biting it to keep it from trembling. “I tried to tell you at the mall.”

Angel pulled Connor against his side and his son didn’t fight. “You were so broken then, Connor, I didn’t know what to trust. I didn’t have time to think about all the details. Granted, killing you was my first mistake. I could have knocked you out or something but I wasn’t thinking clearly. If I had knocked you out, I wouldn’t have needed Wolfram and Hart. But I did kill you and they brought you back. I did everything I could to help you, Connor. I signed on with Wolfram and Hart as part of the deal to help you, which was another mistake...and to make sure you survived the Black Thorn attack, I signed away my shanshu.”

Connor cocked his head to the side. “Your what?”

“There was a prophecy that one day, when I was redeemed, I’d become human again...or that’s what Wesley thought at any rate. They made me sign it away to keep you safe, among other things,” Angel said, wondering if it was a mistake to tell Connor this.

“Does Buffy know this?” Connor gave him a curious look.

“No, I’d be a dead man if she had a clue,” Angel replied, thinking that was very true.

“Can you even sign away a prophecy? I mean, it’s not like a contract. It’s just something that might happen,” Connor said.

Angel made a face. “I...don’t know. I never thought of it that way. I don’t know how much say we have in our own futures.” He cupped Connor’s shoulder, holding his son tight. “It’s beside the point. The point is, I wish I knew this years ago, Connor. I wish you could have found a way to tell me so we wouldn’t have wasted years fighting. I’m sorry that the only thing Thalia saw of us was the pain.”

Connor made a hiccupping sound of pain, pressing a large hand over his mouth. “All she saw was my hate.”

“She saw far more than that, Connor. She saw your pain and betrayal and wanted to make it better...and now hopefully she has. I have nothing more to say other than I’m sorry. I didn’t know I made you feel unwanted. All I wanted was to give you a nice normal life. I didn’t mean to make such a mess of it,” Angel said, feeling wrung out. If Connor didn’t accept him now, he would give up.

“I didn’t help matters,” Connor said in a whisper.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. We can’t change what we did but we can do things differently from here on out. Do you forgive me?” Angel held the breath he didn’t need to take preparing for rejection.

“They took my baby, Dad!” he sobbed and went to pieces before Angel’s eyes.

Angel folded him up his strong arms. “I know, son. We’re going to get Stephen back.”

It took a while for Connor to cry himself out but Angel didn’t care. The cold didn’t bother him. He wasn’t even aware of the wind. His world had narrowed to his child and his agony. Finally Connor pulled away, wiping his sopping face.

“You keep calling him that...Stephen.”

Angel brushed Connor’s hair back off his forehead. “It was what your wife wanted. That name doesn’t haunt me anymore, Connor. If you’re okay with the name, it’s fine by me.”

Connor smiled faintly. “I think Thalia would like that. Thank you.”

“I’m glad to do it.”

“We should go look for this Eve bitch...and kill her slow,” Connor said, and the glint in his eye said he wasn’t kidding.

Angel knew Connor needed distance from all the emotional baggage and so did he. And he had no qualms about killing Eve. “I don’t know where to look. Let’s check back with Dawn and see if she’s tracked her down on the computer.”

Connor just nodded and both men headed back up the hill. They never saw the SUV pull up off the road close to the water not far from where they had been and never heard the splash of something big going into the lake.  
 


	8. Back From the Dead

CHAPTER EIGHT

Angel checked on Connor. They had gotten in just before dawn with nothing to show for a night’s work. Spike, Illyria and Buffy had been no more successful. Angel couldn’t stay asleep but he was hoping Connor was. He quietly peered into the spacious bedroom. Connor was curled into a ball, face buried in the pillow he was hugging. Angel wanted to just let him sleep forever. Connor needed it so much. He could only hope his son’s rest was peaceful.

Angel jumped when a hand touched his shoulder. He had been so involved in watching his child that he had tuned out the world, hadn’t heard or felt Buffy approaching him. She pressed the phone into his hand.

“It’s Detective Danforth,” she said softly as Connor shifted on the bed.

“Why are you people staring at me?” he asked, blearily.

Angel watched Buffy go soothe Connor while he stepped just outside of the room. “Yes, detective?” Angel’s face molded into one of confusion as he listened to what the detective was saying. It didn’t make any sense. “Is it him?...Yes, of course, I’ll meet you at the hospital shortly.”

“What is it, Dad?” Connor asked, sitting up in bed, looking so little and lost in only his boxers, soft cotton with Scooby Doo on them. Thalia had to have bought them. Angel couldn’t imagine his son buying anything other than utilitarian underthings.

“I’m not sure. Danforth wants me to meet her at the hospital. There’s someone there she wants me to see,” Angel said, the look of puzzlement not easing off his face.

“My son?”

The look in Connor’s eyes was heartbreaking and Angel didn’t want to have to hurt him further but there was no choice. He shook his head. “No, and she wouldn’t say who.” Angel glanced at the curtained palladium windows in the room where the sun shone behind the necro-tempered glass. “Buffy, you’ll have to drive me. Madison isn’t well equipped with an underground.” Built around a chain of lakes and bogs, Madison’s water table was too high for the expansive underground sewers L.A. had.

“I’m going, too,” Connor said, swinging out of bed.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Angel said, unsure of what Danforth might show him and more unsure of Connor’s mental stability.

“Why not? Did Danforth tell you not to bring me?” Connor asked, pulling on his pants.

“No, but she didn’t ask for you either,” Angel replied. Would the detective become uncooperative if they all showed up?

“I’m going. And it’s not like you can stop me, what with you being locked in the trunk,” Connor shot back.

“He’s got you there, Angel.” Buffy offered a soft smile. “It might be good for Connor to have something to do.”

Angel rolled his eyes. “All right. But if Danforth says you’re to leave, you sit in a waiting room until I come and get you.”

“Deal.” Connor’s voice was distorted by the shirt he yanked over his head.

“And I won’t be in the trunk. I’ll be in the back seat,” Angel told him. He hated riding in the trunk like luggage.

While Buffy told Dawn and Giles where they were going, Angel crawled under the heavy blankets that were in the back seat of his car. He kept them there just in case Illyria had to drive him or Spike in the day, though he hated the thought of Illyria driving. She wasn’t very good at it but Buffy made her look great.

“Did Danforth give you any clues what this about, Angel?” Buffy asked as they drove on.

“No,” he said, muffled by the blanket. “Just that she wanted me to see someone who was brought in early this morning.”

“Maybe Eve’s partner turned on her and she’s in the hospital morgue,” Connor offered hopefully.

“It’s more likely the other way around knowing Eve,” Angel said.

“I’ll settle for that,” Connor replied grimly. “And Dad, you need to stop watching me sleep. It’s creepy.”

“I wasn’t watching you. I was checking on you. There’s a difference,” Angel protested, feeling smothered by the blankets. He had no intentions of not keeping an eye out on his son.

“No difference. I don’t like waking up to an audience,” Connor grumbled without any real heat in his voice.

Angel sighed heavily and let his stubborn child have the last word. It didn’t take Buffy long to make the short drive to the hospital and pull up under the covered drive way. Angel bailed from the car and waited for his family to arrive. Funny how he was thinking of Buffy as family. She probably would hate the idea of being a step-mom, even though she really was filling the role well ever since she had arrived in Madison. Somehow the idea pleased Angel. It was like the one bright thing that had happened since her arrival.

Danforth eyed Buffy and Connor sourly as they approached her where she had asked Angel to meet her. Zuelsdorff was still absent, and Angel could only hope he was out somewhere else following more clues. There was something about the man the vampire didn’t like. “I wasn’t expecting you to bring reinforcements.”

Angel shrugged. “I wasn’t expecting you to ask me here. What’s this about?”

Danforth sighed, apparently resigning herself to their presence. She waved at the tattered waiting room seats and sat down herself. “A jogger running around the lake found a woman on the edge of the water around dawn. She had been shot, strangled, beaten, raped and tossed in the water, left for dead. She must be a remarkably strong woman because she managed to get herself out of the water. She hasn’t been able to give us much since she’s fading in and out of consciousness but she kept asking for Angel. The detectives who caught the case thought she was being metaphorical, maybe raving about heaven but they had this.” Danforth held up a paper bag. “And knowing we were looking for a baby, they brought the case to my and Carl’s attention. That’s when I thought she might not be talking about angels and was looking for a specific Angel.”

“What’s in the bag?” Angel asked, feeling the agitation roiling off of Connor as his son shifted anxiously on the seat next to him.

Danforth slipped a latex glove on and pulled out a pacifier on a string. “It was still around her neck. The person who did this to her used his hands. You can see the pacifier as a mark over her larynx.”

“Can we see her now?” Connor asked, his eyes not leaving the pacifier. Angel expected him to snatch it away from Danforth.

“In a moment, I’ll take Angel to see her...alone. But first I would like you both to submit to a quick test.” Danforth waved at a doctor at the nurses’ station. She came over with a device in hand. “This is Dr. Michaels from the coroner’s office. She’s a forensic specialist and I’m asking you to voluntarily submit to a measurement of your hands.”

“They didn’t strangle this woman,” Buffy said crossly, putting a protective hand on Angel’s knee.

Connor just shoved his hands out. “I’ve got nothing to hide.”

The doctor took the electronic measurement of Connor’s hands then Angel’s. She looked at Danforth. “It’s definitely not the first subject’s. His hands are too small. The second subject is closer. He could be your suspect.”

“I’m not,” Angel said, looking at his hands as if they were aliens that had attached themselves to him without him knowing.

Danforth nodded. “You both were spotted at the lake last night, not far from where she was put in the water.” Her fingers strayed over her gun meaningfully.

“You have us under surveillance?” Connor snarled and Buffy took hold of his arm just in case.

“Would you like to step inside the room with me now, Angel?” Danforth asked, ignoring Connor.

Angel nodded. He knew that Danforth was watching the victim’s face as she led him inside, her hand hovering over her gun, ready to draw down on him if need be. She was hoping to see fear on the woman’s face, something that would say, ‘yes, this was her attacker.’ Angel was surprised Connor and Buffy were capable of restraining themselves at the door. When he saw the petite blond lying on the bed, Angel knew it was his face Danforth should be watching, not the victim’s. Through the bruising and swelling, he felt his hope for a clue to the puzzle draining away. This woman’s face wasn’t recognizable but as he took another step closer he got a familiar scent underlying the terrible stench of the hospital. He looked more carefully and for a brief moment he wasn’t sure if he was still on his feet or if he had fallen. Vertigo whirled him around.

“Darla?” he croaked, his throat too tight for words. He heard Connor making a small noise from the doorway before Buffy pulled him away.

“Who?” Danforth asked.

“Darla...” Angel choked then pulled himself together. He couldn’t believe what his eyes and nose were telling him, and he had to explain it to Danforth. Darla was as alive as she had been that time Wolfram and Hart had dangled her in his way to torment him. Was she just a pawn this time? A willing participant? No, he couldn’t believe that. Someone had to have brought her back since he didn’t think it was possible for a spirit to force their own reincarnation from beyond. Eve, then; she had to have done this but for what purpose? “She’s my cousin, Darla Reilly. I didn’t know she was in town.”

“Do you have any idea why she might be working with the kidnappers?” Danforth watched him warily.

“If she is, you mean. You don’t know that,” Angel said, getting closer to the bed as he listened to the heart monitor. It sounded regular to him. Darla had a bad heart. He’d need to tell them that.

“No, but we’re testing the DNA on the pacifier against the mother’s, and we’ll be asking for Connor to give up his. He’ll need to do that to prove paternity anyhow when we find the baby,” Danforth said, managing to sound nonchalant.

“If she was there, they had to have had her prisoner, too,” Angel said. “Eve had a man she was in love with and he was in love with Darla. I don’t know if that helps.”

“Maybe...if I were Machiavelli,” Danforth said wryly.

A soft pain-filled moan from Darla brought Angel’s attention back to her. Her dark eyes opened and she smiled, the oxygen cannula under her nose wiggled on her purpled cheeks. “An...gel,” she said, her voice a harsh ruined whisper.

He touched her hand. It was so warm and soft that he wanted to just capture some of it. It was a strange sensation. The woman he loved was outside the door with his son but there was no denying his connection to this woman. She had twice altered the course of his life forever, once when she killed him, once when she gave him his son. He shoved his emotions in a box so hopefully Danforth wouldn’t notice. “Darla,” he said softly. “Who did this to you?”

She took a swallow of air, the effort obviously weighing on her. “Eve...Gene.”

“Sounds like you were right about her, Angel,” Danforth said, making a notation in her notebook. “Do they have the baby?”

“Was fine...had me...caring.” Darla’s voice broke as her eyes filled with tears.

“Shhh, it’s okay.” Angel caressed the back of her hand with his thumb. “Now we know for sure he’s alive and well. That means a lot.”

“How did you come to be involved in this?” Danforth asked, giving Angel a look that said ‘back off.’ He ignored it. “How were you selected to care for the infant Reilly?”

“Kidna...” Darla trailed off, giving Angel a hopeless look. She couldn’t explain her presence there any more than Angel could. She was supposed to be dust again, after all.

“Kidnapped?” he filled in helpfully. “See, detective. I told you if my cousin was involved, it was because she was being forced into it.”

Danforth just nodded, no expression on her face. “Do you know where you and the baby were being kept?”

Darla flicked her tongue over her swollen, split lips. “ _A ghrá mo chroí,”_ she whispered, surprising Angel. It was their old code when they had to talk about something that they didn’t want Penn or Dru or Spike to hear. It was the only words in Gaelic he had ever taught her, ‘love of my heart.’ It was a joke. ‘My dear boy’ was her pet name for him but “ _A ghrá mo chroí_ worked as a diversion. It sounded like a term of endearment, which it was, and the others never guessed it was code. Darla wanted to tell him something but not the cop. She was sending him to kill the people who did this to her and the baby. He had no doubt of it. He leaned closer and she said, “Don’t know...never saw from the outside.”

Danforth looked disappointed and asked a few more questions but Darla couldn’t tell her much beyond telling her what Gene looked like and that they liked to go to the Blue Velvet lounge. When Darla’s eyes shut, Angel felt panic tickle up his spine. If she passed out now, he wouldn’t know when she’d awaken next. He didn’t want to wait until then to find out what Darla wanted to tell him in private. All his questions about how she was here, who brought her back and why would have to wait. Danforth waved him out of the room.

“We’ll be releasing a false statement to the press, saying she was killed,” Danforth said to him and Buffy and Connor who were still hovering by the door.

“Did you find i.d. on her?” Connor asked.

“No, and we’ll list her as Jane Doe. If we put the name Darla Reilly in the papers, they’ll know something is up,” Danforth said. “We don’t want them coming back here to finish her off. She said your son was alive and well when she was separated from him, Connor.”

Connor sagged a bit and Angel caught him, putting a steadying hand on his back. “He’s alive...oh God.”

“Unfortunately she couldn’t give us a place to look but we’re gathering evidence from where she was dumped. I’m going to meet my partner now and see where it leads us to,” Danforth said. “I’ll be back later and hopefully Ms. Reilly will be more lucid. If she remembers anything in the meantime...”

“We’ll call immediately,” Angel broke in on her train of thought.

“Please be sure that you do.” She spared Connor a sympathetic look. “This is the best lead we’ve had, and now we know that your son is alive. Chances are that hasn’t changed. He was obviously taken for a reason.”

Connor bobbed his head. “Thank you.”

Danforth left them. Angel waited until she was well out of sight. “Darla had more to tell me, that she didn’t want the detective to know. I just hope she hasn’t totally lost consciousness.” He spun around to go back into the room.

“Angel,” Connor said weakly. “I want to see her.”

“Of course.”

“It’ll be all right,” Buffy promised, putting her arm around him, letting Connor lean on her. What she thought about Darla, Angel could only guess. It wasn’t good but her insecurities could wait until later.

Angel feared the worst when he got back to the bed side, pushing in amongst all the medical odds and ends. Darla’s eyes were shut and her breathing labored. “Darla,” he said softly.

Her eyes opened and she managed another soft smile for him. She turned her head and saw Connor. Tears welled as her hand came up, wobbling, questing for him. Connor took her hand so she wouldn’t have to strain past injuries and IV tubing. “My baby...so handsome.”

“Mom,” Connor said, his legs going out completely. Buffy held him up and Angel grabbed the only chair in the room. He set it at the bedside, and Buffy plopped Connor onto it. “Your baby...so beautiful.” Darla didn’t take her eyes off her son who shook as he wept. “Angel?”

“I know there was more you had to tell me,” Angel said.

Darla looked like Atlas when he put the world on Hercules’ shoulders. “You remembered. Can barely stay awake... _Dawl Irrifletta_.”

“I’m right here.” Angel leaned in close, and Darla whispered what she could remember from her view in the apartment. By the end he could barely hear her. “We’ll find him, Darla. Don’t worry,” he said but she had already drifted away.

Connor tucked her hand under the thin hospital blankets. “Does she know where my son is?” He managed to get up, now more in control of himself.

“She told me where to find her prison. I’ll tell you in the car. The only problem, she was too disoriented from being brought back again that she doesn’t remember how she got to the place, and she was strangled into unconsciousness by the time they took her out to dump her body.”

“So she could only describe what she saw from the window,” Buffy said and Angel nodded. “Maybe it’ll be enough.”

“Let’s go.”

Once tucked away under a blanket in the back seat, Angel told them everything Darla had remembered, and this time Connor tried to take over the wheel. Buffy refused and Angel was just as glad, given Connor’s state of mind. As she drove, Buffy called Dawn so she could start faking an identity for ‘cousin Darla.’

“I hope this is it. It looks like what you described,” Buffy said after driving aimlessly throughout Madison trying to find the office area. Darla’s interior point of view had been difficult to capture from the outside, and they had killed two hours and had three false starts. Buffy pulled into the shadows so Angel could get out.

“There’re no cars this time,” Connor observed hopefully.

There were no signs of life on the inside either but there were scents mixed in the building of sweat and dust. The building had been emptied out and hastily. They poked around the first floor just long enough to determine the building had been abandoned then decided to go to the third since that was where Darla had thought she was being kept. There was no blood or good scents in the stairwell but that changed when they exited onto the third floor.

Buffy stared at the floor and walls, splattered with blood. “Guess this is where it happened.”

Angel tried to ignore the scents of blood and sex and from the look on Connor’s face he could tell his son was trying to do the same. “They didn’t try to clean this up.”

“Why not?” Buffy asked as Connor pushed ahead of them, moving at a frantic pace.

“I think I remember what the _Dawl Irrifletta_ is but I need to check with Giles. I think they were working in the lower floors and this place was Eve’s special project. With Darla presumed dead, they cleared out of the lower floors and left Eve to clean up her own mess,” Angel said, wanting something to vent his frustrations on.

“He’s not here!” Connor’s voice came high and hysterical from inside the room at the end of the hall.

Angel and Buffy jogged down to meet him. Connor was in the nursery, holding a little octopus to his chest as he stared at the decorations eerily like the ones he himself had lavished on the nursery in his home. Tears streamed down his face. “He’s not here.”

Angel tried not to get overwhelmed by the scent of his grandson and his former lover that were ripe and sweet within the apartment. He couldn’t talk.

Buffy put a hand on Connor’s arm. “They must have moved him...but he’s alive, Connor. I know it.”

“You don’t,” he snarled, pulling away from her.

“I do,” she snapped back. “Look around. They made a home here. This was... I don’t know what, but they put out a lot of effort. They wouldn’t kill him now.”

“They killed Darla, or they thought they did,” Connor argued, clenching the octopus harder, triggering its mechanism. It jiggled and giggled.

“It was an experiment,” Angel said slowly. “The _Dawl_ ...I think they’re a group of mages and scientists. I need to check with Giles. I don’t know how Darla fit into the experiment but she must have been expendable or she did something that made Gene and Eve lose control. Buffy’s right, Connor, this tells us Stephen is important to them. They didn’t go through all the effort to build this and murder Thalia just to kill your son now.”

“And the effort it took to bring back Darla? That had to be even harder, and it didn’t protect her,” Connor replied, hope fading from his eyes.

“No, but thinking negatively won’t help,” Buffy said gently, smoothing a hand up and down his arm.

Connor’s shoulders drooped. “You’re right. But where would they have taken him?”

“There might be clues,” Angel said. “We need to search this place.”

“Hang on.” Buffy opened her purse and rooted past the stakes and holy water to pull out latex gloves. “No fingerprints this way. Faith’s always so paranoid about it, with reason, so I started packing them just in case we had to break into some place...like this.”

“Smart thinking,” Angel said, accepting them.

They all put on the gloves. Connor picked up the toy again, holding it like a life line. They looked at the baby diary on the coffee table but it offered nothing helpful. The entire apartment refused to give up its secrets. When they decided to leave, Connor went back for the baby blanket.

“I want it,” he said simply, keeping a tight grip on the blanket and the toy.

Angel took the baby diary. “Darla recorded everything she did with him.” He didn’t mention that she was calling the baby Liam. “That might be part of what Eve wanted her to do. I’m not leaving it here for the cops to find. It won’t help them and it might...I thought you might want it, Connor.”

Connor nodded, a thankful look on his face.

Buffy started out then stopped, seeing the condition of the door. “Look.” She pointed to the bent hinges. “Darla was trying to escape. That must have been why they tried to kill her.”

“We need to know why they brought Darla back,” Angel said. “It’s so risky. Why would she want to help them? She knew who the baby belonged to. She loved Connor. Gave her life for him. She wouldn’t agree to do this to him.”

“And it would be easier to pretend the baby was Eve’s and hire a nanny or just take him to this i _Dawl_ thingie’s lab,” Buffy said, mulling it over.

“That might be where to look next,” Connor said. “Their lab. This experiment failed. Eve can’t take the baby to wherever she’s staying. Someone will notice she suddenly has a child. But where would the lab be?”

“I don’t know but Giles would be our best bet to get a lead on them,” Angel said.

“Then let’s go home,” Connor said, grimly.

“No, first we go back to the hospital and pretend Darla just woke up and told us all of this. We’ll call Danforth. Let them work the crime scene. They might find something that we can’t see with the naked eye,” Angel said and they carried their treasures out to the car so they could head back to ‘mansion hill.’

 

X X X

“God, why won’t this thing shut up?” Eve said, trying to cram a pacifier in the infant’s mouth. “Just shut up already, Lindsey.”

“We could remove its vocal cords,” one of the _Dawl_ scientist’s offered, as she finished drawing off another tube of blood from Connor’s son. “But we should do the blood work first, see if the subject has any demonic DNA to begin with. This was always the proper place for the subject and not in that social experiment of yours, Eve.” The scientist made a disgusted face. “Social science isn’t a science, it’s more an art form, a waste of time.”

“Yes, Jade, you’ve made your opinion known on this matter more than once,” Eve said tiredly. “It would have had much more impact on Angel when he got his grandson back years from now realizing his lover had raised him. Besides, the _Dawl_ wanted to experiment with a twice resurrected woman who had been host to two separate vampire demons. It was a shame she had to force us to exterminate her...if Gene didn’t screw that up. He’s your man,” she reminded the _Dawl_ scientist.

“He’s with the Protectorate. None of them are selected for their brains,” Jade replied, fixing heart monitors to the baby’s chest. “Put him in the crib. We’ll see what kind of information we can get from him before we start more invasive tests.”

“I don’t want him killed,” Eve said as Gene came into the lab. “The baby does me no good if he’s dead.” Eve thought for a moment, realizing it wasn’t true. If she buried the baby in Connor’s back yard and made an anonymous tip to the cops, they’d probably arrest him for murdering his wife and his own son. That would devastate Angel. She smiled at the thought. She’d keep that plan in reserve.

“We won’t kill him. He’s an interesting subject,” Jade replied distractedly.

“Listen to this.” Gene rattled the newspaper he was carrying. “A Jane Doe floater was found in Lake Mendota in the early hours of the morning. The police are putting together a sketch of the woman to put on the news. See? Told you she was dead.”

“She was still moaning when you put her in the SUV,” Eve shot back. “You should have weighted her down when you tossed her in.” Seeing the look of anger on Gene’s face, Eve figured she needed to placate him before she was the next floater. “But I guess no harm, no foul. Let’s get out of here. I can’t stand this noise. Keep me informed if you find anything, Jade.”

The scientist didn’t even look at Eve. “Of course.”

Eve fished the pacifier out of the crib and shoved it back into the howling baby’s mouth. “Shut up you little monster.” She took Gene’s arm and dragged him out of the room, realizing that she no longer really needed him. It might be time for him to die as well because she could see too many scenarios when it might be him or her.


	9. Hope

CHAPTER NINE

“Are you sure he’d come here?” Buffy asked to the blanket covered lump in the back seat as Giles drove up to Connor’s house.

“It makes sense,” Angel replied from under the blanket. “Connor’s gone again. He’s not at the hospital, which surprised me.”

“But there was no answer when we called here,” she protested, looking at the house for signs of life.

“I believe Thalia’s sister mentioned going to the funeral home to work on arrangements for when Thalia’s body is released,” Giles said, parking the car.

“If Connor wanted to be alone here, now would be the time,” Angel added, his voice muffled.

“So he won’t be thanking us for interrupting that,” Buffy said, uneasiness creeping into her voice.

“No, I don’t imagine he will but I don’t trust him alone,” Angel said. “Connor is one for grand, sweeping and all too final gestures. Not that I think he’ll do anything stupid, not while there’s a chance his son is alive but I’d rather not risk leaving him alone and letting him sink into the darkness.”

“I’ll go make sure his in-laws are out just so they don’t wonder about your mad dash from the car to the door,” Giles said, slipping out of the car.

“Why would you even check the hospital?” Buffy turned so she could look over the back of the seat. “There’s probably nothing more Darla could tell you that would help.”

Angel lifted the blanket so he could see Buffy’s face, and he didn’t like what he saw, jealousy, insecurity. He knew if he called her on it, it would only get worse. “She’s his mother, Buffy. A mother he’s never seen, and I think he’s missed her in spite of that. He’s always wanted a nice normal family and you know that. Now his mother’s back. Trust me, he’ll go to the hospital.”

“Will you?” she asked in a small frightened tone.

Angel could guess at most of the subtext in those two words. He didn’t know how to deal with them, at least not at the moment. “I think you’re wrong. I think there is more Darla can tell us. Someone brought her back from dust again, Buffy. There’s a reason for it. I do need to find out why.”

A resigned look took over her face. “I know.”

He also knew that she would always have problems with Darla even if his former lover wasn’t back from the dead. He had spent a century with Darla and, even though he assured Buffy many times that he didn’t love her, neither of them really believed it. Still, he had made a choice long ago and killed his sire for Buffy. Angel wasn’t sure Buffy knew how important a choice that was. It usually wasn’t an easy thing to kill one’s sire. He wasn’t sure she understood the significance of it any more than she did when Spike offered to kill Drusilla for her. “Besides, Buffy, Darla’s time is limited. She has a bad heart. Connor doesn’t know that,” he added, his voice weighed down with one more bad thing he’d have to tell his son.

Giles waved them in from the doorway. Angel spread the blanket out like a tarp overhead but still he felt dangerously warm by the time he bolted inside. They found Connor sitting on the floor in the nursery, tucked into a corner. He held the little octopus he had rescued from the lab. His eyes flicked up towards them then went back to their blank staring.

Buffy looked around the blue and yellow star spangled room. She knew Connor had done this himself, and she was impressed. She didn’t think he had art inside of him. “It’s sweet, Connor,” she said, unsure if she should. It was just a reminder of all he had lost.

A ghost of a smile kissed his lips. “Thanks. It looks like the room they kept my son in. Were they spying on me even here? A coincidence? Something else?”

“I don’t know. Maybe if Darla is more lucid today we might find out more,” Angel said, trying to look hopeful.

Connor shook his head. “I went there this morning. They said she had been comatose all night.”

“That could change,” Giles said. “We can go back now if you’d like, Connor. We really do need to find out what else Darla might know about why she was brought back and what they want with your son. It doesn’t make sense that they would go through all this effort if all they wanted was the baby. It would have been far easier to just take the child and flee.” A nervous look ironed out some of Giles’ wrinkles. “Sorry, Connor, I didn’t mean to suggest that they would hurt...”

Connor held up a hand. “You’re not suggesting anything I haven’t thought of, Giles. There’s something big going on. I figured that much when I first saw the apartment they set up. We should go now...I can’t be here anymore. I don’t know...how can I ever be here again?”

Angel went over and embraced him briefly. “Connor, you can stay with me until you’re ready to be here again. And if you never are...you stay with me until you find someplace to be.”

Connor rested his head against Angel’s shoulder for a moment. “Thanks.” His head snapped up. “Oh, damn, Larissa’s back. I was hoping we could get out of here before that.”

“Is it too hard on you dealing with her, Connor? We could help,” Buffy said, touching his arm.

Connor rubbed his forehead. “No, it’s more...how do we get Angel from here to the car without her wondering what’s up with the blanket?”

“Well, we’ll just keep her distracted until Angel gets out to the car,” Buffy said decisively.

Connor left the nursery, still holding the octopus. He offered a weary smile to his sister-in-law. Her husband took the kids upstairs. “Is there anything I can get for you guys? I’m about to head out.”

Larissa’s dark eyes narrowed. “Already? We just got back in.”

“You’re handling everything, Larissa. There’s nothing I can do and...I just can’t sit here. There’s got to be something more I can be doing to find my son,” Connor said, the words sounding hollow and desperate.

“The police will probably think you’re trying to get in their way,” Larissa sniffed distastefully.

“Not this time. Danforth wanted my help with something, someone else who might have been hurt by the people who killed Thalia,” Connor said. “Danforth can’t tell everyone that yet because she doesn’t know who all is involved. “

“Why haven’t you told us before?” Larissa demanded, crossing her arms defensively. “Is this the blond woman Zuelsdorff showed us a picture of yesterday?”

“Because I don’t know that it’s going to lead anywhere and you have enough to deal with without that. And yeah, I’m probably talking about the blond in the picture,” Connor said then held out the octopus. “Here.”

Larissa looked at him like he had lost his mind. “What is that?”

“It was for our son,” Connor said, and Angel realized he hadn’t told Larissa that they had found the place the baby was being kept. “I want it to go...” Connor’s voice broke, his shoulders heaving. “I want it to go with Thalia.”

Larissa hugged him tight, crying. “Of course.” She kissed his cheek and took the octopus from him. “What are we going to do without her?”

Angel didn’t wait to hear his son’s answer. It would hurt too much. He took the opportunity to make a mad, blanket-shielded dash for the car. He didn’t have to wait long for Buffy to get in the back seat with him. She slid his feet into her lap.

“Giles and Connor will be out in a minute,” she said, her hand under the blanket, caressing his calf absently.

Angel lifted the blanket off his face just a little. “In case I haven’t said it, Buffy, thank you for everything you’ve been doing for Connor. It’s making a difference to him, to us both.”

Buffy smiled softly. “How could I do less? I can’t even imagine what Connor’s going through. I don’t even want to.”

Angel didn’t bring up that she did know about the death of a lover. She had gone through it twice; once with him, once with Spike. Nor did he mention he knew all too well what it was like to lose a child. He was relieved with Giles and Connor got into the car. “Are you up to going to the hospital, son?”

Connor peered over the back seat at him. “More than ready. Don’t worry about me, Dad. I can hold it together. I have to.”

“Not necessarily. The three of us can talk to Darla for you,” Angel said. “But I know you want to talk to your mother. I know this has to be...disorientating for you.”

“That’s a word for it. I have to do this,” Connor insisted, ignoring his father’s sympathetic look.

“Okay,” Angel acquiesced and Giles started towards the hospital. “Giles, what have you come up with for the _Dawl_?”

“Darla had to be referring to the _Dawl Irrifletta_ ,” Giles said.

“Which is?” Buffy asked.

“The Reflected Light, a group originating in Malta, sort of the anti-Watchers. They study science and the arcana arts and pretend they’re neutral, like the Watchers.” Giles sounded bitter. “The truth is neither group is neutral. The Watchers try to do some good in the world and the _Dawl_...do not. That said, I have no idea where they might be in this part of the world. I left Dawn and Spike looking into that so I could get a chance to talk to Darla myself.”

“You think they’d hurt my son, don’t you?” Connor’s voice was tight.

“I think they would if it suited their purposes,” Giles said, grimly. “It almost looks like it was some kind of experiment going on in that apartment they had Darla and the baby in but what kind I can’t fathom. I’m certain Darla could shed light on that. And the _Dawl_ ’s involvement would go a long way to explaining what Darla is doing back. They would find resurrecting a vampire ...interesting.”

Connor wiped his face, catching a few stray tears. “They’re hurting him. I know it. Babies need to be held, to be loved. At least when he was with Darla, my son was getting that and now...”

“We’re getting closer, Connor. We know who. That’s half the battle,” Angel said, not at all surprised in Connor’s belief that Darla was helping the baby and not his kidnappers. Angel believed it, too. He didn’t add that he knew who had taken his son when Connor had been kidnapped and it hadn’t helped. He needed to give Connor something to cling to. His son didn’t say anything more and the rest of the ride to the hospital was in silence. They were surprised that no one challenged them as they went to Darla’s room. Buffy and Giles hung back, letting father and son approach the injured woman.

“Darla,” Angel said softly.

Her dark eyes fluttered open, and she smiled that languid smile that used to turn his heart into sugar candy in the rain. “Angel,” she said in that breathy little girl’s voice of hers. At first he had thought it was a put on and had been slightly disappointed to find out it was real. “Connor.” She reached out for her son.

Connor moved forward and took her hand. “Mom...we can’t find him. They took him.”

“They cleared out the whole building, Darla,” Angel said, touching her arm. “Do you know where they might have taken him?”

She shook her head then winced, her free hand brushing her abused neck. “No, I was brought back...” she struggled for breath. “In a lab but I don’t know where.”

“The _Dawl_ , you meant the _Dawl Irrifletta_?” Angel asked.

“Yes...and Eve and Gene.” Darla took a deep breath as if willing her oxygen tube to give her more. “They didn’t...they didn’t hurt the baby, not when I was there.”

Connor wilted like a blossom in the desert sun. Angel dragged the chair over again and sat his son down. Connor rested his head on the bed and Darla stroked his hair gently. “Mom, why did they do this?”

“I don’t know.” Darla’s eyes shut, her hand stilling on Connor’s crown. Angel thought she had slipped away again, but she opened her eyes, fixing them on Angel. They were hazed from the morphine dripping into her veins. “Not all of it. There has to be more than I knew...no one would go through it all just to have me raise the baby. I know there were to be...tests.”

“Was it because of me, Darla? Did Eve do this because of me?” Angel couldn’t keep the pain from cracking his voice like thin glass.

Darla wept. “I’m sorry, Angel.”

Connor’s head snapped up, his eyes holding a maelstrom. “Because of you...we knew that, didn’t we?”

The hollowness in Connor’s voice was worse than anger. Angel put a hand on his son’s back. “I’m sorry, Connor. All of this is over Lindsey. I can’t believe...this is insane.”

“She wanted me to call the baby, Lindsey. Refused to.” A defiant look branded itself on Darla’s battered face. “Told her about Lindsey and me. She didn’t know...pissed her off.”

“Is that why she had Gene do this to you?” Connor squeezed his mother’s hand. “It was him, wasn’t it?”

Darla nodded. “I tried to escape. Eve shot me and left me to...” She shuddered. “I don’t know where they would have taken little Liam...that’s what I was calling him. I didn’t know...thought maybe you might name him after your father.” Darla stroked Connor’s cheek.

He smiled. “Stephen...Thalia wanted to name him that.”

“But that’s...” Darla trailed off.

“Connor’s name in hell...how did you know?” Angel asked shocked.

“The Powers were letting her watch me,” Connor answered, wonder in his eyes at that bit of magic. “I didn’t believe it back then in L.A. but it was real.”

Darla took a deep rattling breath. “Stephen is a beautiful baby, head full of black hair. Did they...did those monsters kill his mother?”

Tears splashed down Connor’s cheeks as he nodded.

“They did things to her that you and I would have balked at in our prime,” Angel told her and Darla’s eyes screwed shut.

“Find them, Angel,” she said, her voice gaining strength in her fury. “You know what to do.”

“I will,” Angel caressed her cheek then looked over his shoulder. “Giles, write down our numbers please. Darla, if you remember anything more, you have the nurses call us.”

“I’m useless.” She sighed, her pain visibly catching up to her.

“No, you’re not, Mom. Now we know exactly who took my son and we will find them,” Connor said, squeezing her hand.

“Go,” she whispered. “Don’t stay here with me any longer. I can’t help you more. The baby needs you more.”

“We’ll be back though,” Connor assured her.

“He’s right,” Angel said. “We’re not going to abandon you, Darla.” He stroked her hair. “Have the doctors given you something for your heart? Does it hurt?” Whatever else Darla might have been to him, Angel didn’t want her to suffer. He remembered the last time, her pain, her feeling her death coming up on her. He didn’t want her to go through that again.

“Heart’s fine. This time, the magic fixed it. I was perfectly healthy until Gene,” she said, looking exhausted.

Angel took a step back. He wasn’t expecting that. He had only been thinking ahead a few weeks, knowing Darla would eventually die from her weak heart. It never occurred to him that the first time they went through this Wolfram and Hart had purposely left her frail as an incentive for him to sire her. He wasn’t prepared for her to live. “I...okay. Good. That’s very good. You’re right though. We need to get back out there, looking for Stephen.”

“We’ll be back later, Mom,” Connor promised.

Darla just smiled at him and let her eyes close again. Angel and Connor left the room moving past Buffy and Giles. The look on Buffy’s face was indescribable. Angel glanced over at Giles. “What now?”

“We go see what Dawn has found out about the _Dawl_ and go from there,” the Watcher replied.

“Mom has to be right. There has to be more to this than her raising my son, there has to be more to it than mere revenge,” Connor said.

“Whatever it is, son, we’ll figure it out,” Angel said, wishing he felt as confident as he tried to sound. And the truth was he didn’t give a damn what they wanted Darla and the baby for. All he wanted was his grandson back.

X X X

Connor wanted a lot of things, most of which he knew he’d never get. He would take even the briefest of clues to find his son. Giles and Dawn had found no new clues to the whereabouts of the _Dawl_ enclave in Wisconsin. Eventually the tedium in Angel’s home as they plodded through the research got to him. Connor couldn’t deal with just sitting around doing nothing. It had been three days since he had gone to visit his son’s empty nursery, three days of fruitless research and calls from the detectives who tried to sound encouraging. Connor couldn’t sleep. Whenever he tried, he usually just tossed and turned picturing what he knew Thalia had to look like after the fire. He tried to construct what his son might look like as he remembered the infant’s scent. The lack of sleep made him unbearable to be around. The only person he didn’t snap at was his mother, still too amazed by her existence, too afraid she would wink out into nothingness.

It was only natural to him, that when he stormed out of Angel’s house in frustration, that he had gone back to the hospital to see his mother. Darla mostly slept through his visit, as she had through the last several visits. They still had her doped up on morphine but were weaning her back now that her pain was more bearable. She had managed to give the police sketch artist a description for the F.A.C.E.S. computer program and Danforth promised that as soon as they found a probable computer match, they’d be back with photos.

The doctors told Connor that Darla could probably go home soon. They didn’t want her to remain in-house where it was likely she’d catch some nasty resistant hospital-borne infection. They would help him find her a nursing home if he was unable to find housing for his ‘cousin.’ She could even have in-home nursing if need be, and they would set up appointments to include physical therapy and rape counseling. The thought of his mother being violated added fuel to Connor’s imagination when it came to ways he was going to kill Gene and Eve. First his wife, then his child and then his mother all hurt by this pair. There would be a day of reckoning.

“I’m not surprised to see you here, Mr. Reilly.”

Connor looked over his shoulder at Danforth and Zuelsdorff. Just what he needed more people to witness him falling apart, to see his sanity slowly coming undone. He put on his bravest face. “Someone needs to be here,” he said, seeing his mother’s eyes fluttering open at the sound of voices.

“We need to speak with Ms. Reilly privately. It’ll only take a minute,” Zuelsdorff said. “We need her to have a look at a photo array.”

Connor nodded. “Sure.” He was more than willing to have them try anything they needed to. Gene and Eve were human. The cops could handle them and, while that wouldn’t be as satisfying as pulling Gene’s guts out and making balloon animals with them, it would at least insure he’d be around to watch his son grow up and not be in a jail cell. It didn’t take long before the two detectives came out of Darla’s room.

Danforth stopped in front of him. “Could you have a look at the array for us and tell us if you recognize anyone, Mr. Reilly?”

She put the photo lineup in front of him and Connor pointed to Gene’s picture. As he made the identification, a weight lifted off of Connor. Seeing the picture made it seem somehow more real that the people who took his son were living breathing creatures that could be caught and punished. “Him. I don’t know him but I saw him with Eve at The Blue Velvet lounge. I got the impression they had been waiting for me,” he said.

“What gave you that impression?” Zuelsdorff asked, taking out his note book. “Did they say something to you?”

Connor shook his head, trying to drag that terrible night free from a brain that wanted to shut the memory away for good to make it less real. His body trembled as he remembered and his voice quavered. “It was the night after Thalia was murdered. They didn’t say a word. All they did was raise a glass to me and grinned, and even then, before I thought they might be involved, it felt...menacing somehow.”

“And you’ve never seen them before?” Danforth asked. 

“Or since. I wish I could be more help,” Connor said empathetically. His fists balled as frustration overtook him. “Do you have any leads?”

“We’re not at liberty to say,” Zuelsdorff said and, while Connor knew that was protocol, it still irritated the hell out of him. He grit his teeth so his fury and exhaustion didn’t spill out, making him say something he’d regret.

“Oh, okay,” he said deflated, or at least letting them think that he was. He watched them go after they muttered goodbye and promised to keep him as in the loop as much as they could. Once they had a good distance on him, he started to follow, hoping to eavesdrop without them spotting him. He didn’t get much but he did hear them mentioning someone spotting the suspect near the apartments off Langdon Street. Connor nearly choked. Langdon was loaded with college housing and dead ended into Wisconsin Avenue - a block away from Pickney where Angel’s house reigned like a crown jewel.

As much as he wanted to race out the door and scour Langdon, Connor stumbled back to his mother just to tell her goodbye. Completely unsurprised by the fact Angel was in the room, holding Darla’s hand, he went inside.

Angel smiled at Connor. “I knew you’d come here.”

“We weren’t getting anything done, and she has no one,” Connor said defensively, not sure if Angel meant that he should be out doing more. What more could he do? None of them had been very successful in finding clues to his son.

And it wasn’t as if Angel didn’t take breaks. Angel managed to get people to bring him to the hospital in the day so Darla wouldn’t be so alone. Connor knew that Angel was worried about her but knew also his father wasn’t blind to a certain blonde’s jealousy.

“Not alone...” Darla said in her soft, drugged voice. “I have you my precious boy.”

“And I have to go, Mom. Dad, Danforth and Zuelsdorff were here,” Connor said, feeling budding hope.

“I know. Darla told me she picked Gene out of the line up,” Angel replied, favoring Darla with a gentle look.

“I overheard the detectives talking. He’s been spotted on Langdon near some apartment,” Connor broke into his parents’ tender moment. There was something almost disturbing about it, as much as he had wanted this for most of his earliest years; it was his most hidden secret from Holtz. As much as he hated his parents, he still longed for them all to be a family, that maybe he could make them not evil. The dream died in his teen years and now... it seemed like going backwards. He wasn’t blind to how his father felt about Buffy but both of them seemed to be deep in denial. Did Darla know? For all Connor knew, she wanted free of Angel after so many centuries.

Angel’s eyes brightened. “Then we have a place to start looking again. Only, those apartments tend to have locked lobbies and at this time of night, they’re not likely to let us in if we buzz them.”

Connor felt a little gutted. He hadn’t even considered that. Even if they did get buzzed in, who would answer questions from strangers in the middle of the night? “Well...we can listen for a baby crying. I can go back in the day tomorrow...something,” he said, grasping desperately so not to go over the edge back into despair.

Angel patted his shoulder. “I’ll call Giles and get them looking into police reports and anything else they think is pertinent.”

“You’ll find him,” Darla said softly.

Connor smiled at his mother. “Thanks.”

“Excuse me.” A nurse popped into the room. “Visiting hours are over.”

“We’re just leaving.” Connor leaned over and kissed his mother.

Angel ran a hand over Darla’s tangled hair as he said goodbye. Connor had no idea what gentle touches like that might actually mean for his parents. He refused to think about it.

To Connor’s chagrin, it was snowing heavily when they got back outside. He was determined not to let it stop him. Angel guided him to his car while he placed a call to his home to let Buffy and the others know what they had learned. As they headed back to Angel’s home to park so they could cover Langdon on foot, the snow got worse.

“It’s not supposed to be this bad this early in the year,” Connor groused, knowing no one would be out and about in this kind of weather.

“It’s Wisconsin. What possessed you to move here?” Angel asked, putting the car in park. Buffy was waiting on them in the doorway, looking frigid already.

“I thought you’d never find me here,” Connor answered with undisguised honesty and saw the hurt in Angel’s dark eyes. He felt instantly bad about it. Thalia wanted him to try to be nicer to his father. How could he be so insensitive to her last wishes?

“I sent Spike and Illyria to look at some warehouses west of Middleton that might be owned by the _Dawl_ ,” Buffy said, coming out into the snow to meet them. “Guess that leaves us Langdon.”

“Thanks, Buffy,” Connor said softly, heading west to hook onto Langdon. He appreciated all the help she was giving him when this wasn’t her problem. He was holding onto Buffy and the rest as if they were lifelines. Connor knew without them he was doomed.

“Nothing like a stroll in a winter wonderland.” She looked up at the snowflakes coming down thick and wet like mashed potatoes through a fan. “Why is this supposed to be romantic?”

“Usually you don’t have your boyfriend’s kid along with you while you’re hunting murderers and rapists. It’s probably more romantic without those elements,” Connor offered, trudging ahead of them. He looked at each building as he went, feeling the fear that this was another dead end ratcheting up with every darkened home. There were so many. There wasn’t much personal space between the homes and apartments in this part of town. The buildings were crammed in as if trying dance on the shores of the lakes that dotted the city.

“And usually the boyfriend does this.” Angel pulled Buffy to his side as they walked. “And usually they’re warmer than me.”

“It’s okay,” she said softly then raised her voice, “Connor, what exactly did the detectives say?”

“Just that Gene had been seen here...don’t know if it’s a real sighting and if it is real if it means he’s hidden out here or just walked past after spying on us,” Connor said, trying to see through his snow-beaded eyelashes. No, he couldn’t think about it being a false lead. If he thought about it then he’d imagine that he would never see his son. “I can’t let it pass. I have to see if it leads somewhere.”

“Of course,” Angel said.

_It’s going to lead to frostbite_ , Connor thought hatefully. What had he done to so offend the Powers that they’d give him a lead and then top it with weather like this? He heard Buffy cursing behind him as she nearly slipped and fell. Snow made his cheeks sting. He couldn’t even make out ‘for rent’ signs on the buildings to tell if they were apartments to begin with. Even if he could see in, most of the college students decorated their windows with posters and pictures and weird-colored drapes so that seeing into them was next to impossible.

A hush fell over the city except for the occasional tire trying to find traction to get up and down the hills. Connor just wished that Angel and Buffy would go back and leave the search to him. There was no sense in everyone freezing in the November storm. Finally he thought they did go. He was too absorbed as he walked and re-walked Langdon searching, praying that he wasn’t sure if they were down the block or gone. He could no longer feel his feet or fingers when Angel put an arm around him. Buffy was nowhere to be seen.

“You’ve been out here for hours,” Angel said gently. “It’s nearly two in the morning.”

Connor shook his head. It couldn’t be that late already. He had found nothing. He was a failure as a father. He couldn’t even find his baby. He couldn’t go home yet. “I have to find him.” His voice sounded like shattered icicles.

“You’re going to die of exposure, Connor. This snow isn’t going to let up. All the buildings are dark. We aren’t going to find him tonight,” Angel said, his face stern now. He wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

Connor glared at him. “I can’t give up now.”

“You aren’t giving up. You’ll come back when it’s light out.” Angel tried to steer him towards home.

Connor didn’t resist any further. He could barely walk home. His feet were too numb and the snow had gotten so thick and heavy. Connor leaned on his father as they walked. He couldn’t say anything. If not for Angel, he would never have left the street. He wasn’t even thinking of his own survival. When they reached the house, Connor was happy to note that someone had kindled a fire in the marble fireplace in Angel’s living room.

Dawn popped up off the couch when they came in. “I made hot chocolate. Let me go get it.”

Connor almost fell on the hearth rug. Angel helped him tug off his boots and Buffy gave him a towel for his hair. His hood had fallen off so many times he hadn’t bothered with it after a while and his hair was filled with ice balls. For a moment he looked at the people helping him, wondering what might it have been like to have parents doing this for him as a child coming in from playing in the snow. It snowed in Quor-Toth and Holtz would let him frolic but there were never roaring hearth fires, mommies drying his hair or daddies taking off his boots and telling him he needed to get out of his wet clothes.

It took a few seconds for him to realize Angel really was telling him that. His father hauled him up and Giles had some clothing for him. Connor stumbled to the downstairs half bath and shucked his soaked through and frozen stiff clothing. His skin was pink and icy to the touch. By the time he was dressed in the warm, soft jogging pants, the pain in his warming appendages was nearly overwhelming. He groaned as he stumbled his way to the hearth rug where he collapsed. Dawn pressed a hot mug into his hands, and he cupped it with both to insure he didn’t drop it. Connor took two sips then set the mug on the hearth. He looked up at his friends and burst into tears. “I’m sorry,” he wailed. “I can’t stop crying.”

“I don’t think you’re supposed to when something like this happens,” Buffy said as Angel knelt on the rug.

He took his son into his arms. “You’re so cold, Connor.”

Before Connor knew what was happening, Buffy had the afghan off the couch and draped around him. He just shivered, covered in it and his father’s arms until his tears stopped. He was barely aware of Buffy stroking his hair. “I’m never getting him back.”

“Shhh, don’t talk like that. You’ll get him back,” Angel promised.

“How long do we wait? How long before I do what you did and dismantle the crib?” Connor asked accusingly.

“How did you know...Cordelia,” Angel snarled, suddenly furious at a friend long dead. “It was different. You were taken to hell. And we have so much help here...we’ll get him back.”

“I want to believe,” Connor’s breath caught and for a moment he couldn’t speak. “It’s just so hard.”

Angel held him so tight it hurt. “I know, baby boy, but I’m promising you I moved hell to get you back and nothing will stop me from doing it again.”

Connor just folded up against his father, even more tears finding their way out of him. He could cry until the world drowned.

 

X X X

 

“Is that brat going to ever shut up?” Gene asked, not taking his gaze away from the snow outside his window.

“Look, do you think I volunteered to see what happens to a baby if you don’t let it get its usual amount of sleep,” Eve said wearily. “However, I’m thinking if we tell the head of the _Dawl_ ‘no’ at this point we might both find ourselves in shallow graves next to Darla.” She jabbed the baby with a pin as his eyes started to shut. He let go with a pain-filled screech.

“I say we’ve had our fun. It’s time to cut and run,” Gene said.

“Do you think there’s somewhere in this world the _Dawl_ won’t find you if they think you still owe them?” Eve asked, wondering if just smothering the brat and taking her chances was such a bad idea.

“Worth the risk,” Gene muttered.

“Come here and look.” Eve yanked the baby up, shaking him on her hip to keep him awake. She pointed at her computer.

“Yeah?”

“Read what I wrote. The _Dawl_ want to test the baby’s healing powers. I think a series of taunting notes to Angel with bits of his grandson’s flesh and maybe a finger or two might make things interesting again and let the _Dawl_ run their experiment on the brat’s healing ability at the same time.” Eve grinned.

Gene laughed and kissed her. “That’s my girl.”  
 


	10. Violence and Captures

CHAPTER TEN

Connor had barely slept since the tragedy happened but once they had gotten him warmed up, the young father had lapsed into a deep sleep. It was late morning and he showed no signs of waking up. Angel was content to let his child sleep for a day if need be even if Angel knew Connor would be furious about it. Buffy, Giles, and Dawn had gone out early hoping to catch people going to work or school but no one admitted to seeing anyone bearing a resemblance to Gene or Eve.

Angel didn’t want to be the one to tell Connor that. It had been a long shot at best. If Gene had actually been spotted on Langdon, chances were he had been merely been walking, probably coming from spying on Angel’s home.

“I wish I knew what to do,” Angel told Buffy as she came into the living room. He didn’t look up from the fireplace that supported him as he studied the photos on the mantle of Connor and Thalia that his daughter in law had given him.

“And I wish I had some way of helping,” she said, leaning against the fireplace so she could face him.

“You’ve already done plenty, Buffy. I can’t tell you how much everyone’s help means to me. And I know Connor feels the same.” Angel reached out to play with a tendril of her hair as it curled over her shoulder. His eyes widened as Buffy flinched away.

“I’m glad I could do something before I have to leave.” Her eyes wouldn’t meet his and she half turned away.

“Leave?” His voice rasped. “I thought...”

“I do have a life elsewhere, Angel,” Buffy reminded him, her voice scalpel-sharp. Her chin came up defiantly. “I’m here on vacation, remember?”

His eyes narrowed trying to shield the emotion radiating from them. “How can you just drop this in my lap and say I’m leaving?”

“Oh that’s rich coming from you.” Her eyes flashed with cold fire. She poked his chest with a finger. “You knew I’d have to go.”

“Go, yes, but you make it sound so final, like you’re locking the door behind you,” Angel replied, a deep hurt spilling into his voice. “I thought we were going to try to be us again.”

Buffy laughed harshly, turning her back on him. “Who are you kidding? There is no us, Angel. Do you think I’m blind?”

“Blind to what?” he asked, feeling the soul inside of him curdling. It slowly hit him, what he should have known all along. “Darla.”

“Of course, Darla,” Buffy snarled, whipping back around. “Do you think I don’t see you’re in love with her?”

“I’m not,” Angel protested, reaching for her again but Buffy stepped back.

“Of course you are.” Her lips skinned back into a mockery of a smile as she crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re at the hospital every day.”

“Because she’s hurt,” Angel snapped, his face molding into an angry mask. “Because she’s alive again and afraid. And because no matter what, Buffy, no matter who else I love, she’ll always be the mother of my child and the grandmother of his baby.”

“Angel, you’re there every moment you can be,” Buffy argued, not ready to believe what he had to say.

“Are you honestly jealous because I’m taking the time to help someone who’s in the hospital?” Angel couldn’t keep the growl out of his voice. “Buffy, have you ever asked Faith how she felt when no one visited her? She was vaguely aware in that coma. She heard voices and maybe we had no reason to ever visit Faith but being ignored hurt her. Darla’s not at fault here. I thought she was dying because of her heart so I didn’t want her to be alone for that, and now she’s not dying. Someone has to help her become part of this world.”

Buffy looked at her feet, her voice dead. “And you appointed yourself her guardian.”

“No, actually I was hoping Connor would do it but he’s in no shape for that. I wish he were. I’m hoping for Giles’ help, too, to set her up with a new life. What should I do? Pretend she doesn’t exist?” he asked harshly. He knew it wouldn’t help if he lost his temper but he was struggling with his anger.

“You’re in love with her,” Buffy said, tears in her eyes.

“No, I’m in love with you but did I love Darla once? I try to tell myself no, I didn’t but the truth is, I was with her for over a century. As much as our kind can love, we did love and we hated each other, too. And no matter what, I will always know she’s the one who killed and condemned me. I will never love her, not like you’re thinking.” Angel touched Buffy’s shoulder and she wept harder. He pulled her to him, holding on tight. Angel stroked her back. “Don’t be jealous of the time I spend with her, Buffy. I’d rather be spending it with you but I could never live with myself if I tossed Darla aside and didn’t help when I could. She is a part of my life again and a part of my son’s. We just have to figure out where we all fit together.”

“Why did you let me sleep so long?” Connor raged, stalking into the room. His sudden appearance startled Angel and Buffy apart. Connor paused, seeing Buffy’s anguish. “Buffy, are you all right? Has something happened?”

“No.” Buffy wiped her face. “Sorry. Personal stuff. It’s okay that you got some sleep, Connor. We went to Langdon for you, but we didn’t have any luck. I’m so sorry.”

Angel was perversely glad he wasn’t the one who had to say it. He went over and put a hand on Connor’s shoulders, seeing the defeat in his son’s eyes. “We aren’t giving up.”

Connor shook him off. “Did you get inside the apartments, Buffy? Did you look around inside?”

Her face softened. “No, for the most part they wouldn’t let us in. We had a picture Dawn stole from the police files online, and she found some old Wolfram and Hart files still floating around so we had a picture of Eve, too. No one recognized them from the pictures,” Buffy said. “The warehouse Spike and Illyria looked at was recently emptied so it’s possible...maybe the _Dawl_ has pulled up stakes here.”

“Thank you,” he said softly, going for the phone. Connor made a call. “Scott, you want to help me do some surprise fire safety inspections on apartments on Langdon? I’ll explain why later...thanks, buddy. I owe you big time...get the paperwork and I’ll meet you there.”

“Connor, what are you doing?” Angel shot him a suspicious look.

“Getting into those buildings to look around,” Connor said bluntly, his eyes boring into his father’s. “It’s legal...more or less. We do fire alarm, smoke detector and fire extinguisher inspections all the time. An anonymous tip about things not being up to code came in...” he trailed off, thinking about the lie he was about to weave. “If Eve and Gene are at all good at hiding, the people Buffy talked to might never have seen them.”

“Just be careful, son and keep us apprised,” Angel said, knowing he wouldn’t be able to stop Connor. “It’s a good idea.”

Connor nodded then looked between Angel and Buffy before heading for the door. He paused. “If it makes a difference, Buffy, she doesn’t want him back either. Mom said the only good thing they ever did together was me and chances are together they’d find a way to mess that up.” Connor didn’t wait for a response.

Angel met Buffy’s eyes but said nothing.

“I want to believe you, Angel.”

“Then do,” he said simply. “I’ve done a lot of things to you in the past Buffy. Cheating wasn’t one of them.”

Buffy wet her lips, considering that. “I’ll try not to be jealous.”

“Thank you.” Angel leaned down to kiss her. “I know this is hard on you, Buffy and it’ll get harder.”

She looked at him curiously. “How?”

Angel turned his face. “The hospital wants to discharge Darla into my care or Connor’s. I think it would be good for Connor and Darla to have that time together.”

“But he’s not even sure he can go home ever,” she reminded him.

“Hence the problem. I won’t put Darla out on the street, Buffy,” Angel said plainly. “If Connor can’t go home with her then maybe Spike and Illyria will put her up for a while.”

“Which will be disastrous,” Buffy finished his thought. “And then she comes here.”

“If it comes to it...I’ll try to make other arrangements,” he said, looking uncomfortable.

“We’ll worry about it later.” Buffy embraced him, resting her head on his chest. “Maybe by then the baby will be found and this will all be over. Maybe now’s the time for me to learn to be a grown up about this. Only, grownups get jealous, too.”

“It’s hard to control how we feel, Buffy. The challenge is to not let it dictate our lives. I let it do that in the past and it cost me my son for a very long time,” Angel said sadly. He ran a finger along the line of her jaw. “I don’t want to see it cost us each other just when we’re getting another chance.”

Buffy tightened her grip. “I’ll do my best. Angel, I’m going to head over to Langdon. I won’t stop Connor going into those buildings but someone ought to be close in case he loses it. Scott alone isn’t going to be able to stop Connor.”

Angel kissed her forehead. “Thank you. Call me if anything shakes loose, not that I can do anything to help,” he said bitterly, casting a baleful eye at the autumn sun. Why couldn’t it have kept snowing?

“Of course.”

 

X X X

“Thanks for meeting me,” Connor said, clipping his i.d. onto his jacket.

Scott eyed his friend dubiously. “You look awful. Not that I expected you to look good given the circumstances.”

“I look good compared to yesterday. Got some sleep.” Connor let out a deep breath, watching it crystalize in the cold air.

“I know you didn’t call me at the station to ask me to bend the law after the snowiest damn day just because you need to do something to take your mind off things, Connor. Want to let me in on it?” Scott asked, stomping his feet to shake off the snow. The sidewalks were shoveled but it was necessary to wade through mounds of snow to get to them.

“There’s been a report that the man who took my son might be in one of these apartments. I don’t know which one and a sighting isn’t enough for the police to get a search warrant. We’re allowed to do spot inspections but if you’re worried about risking your job, you don’t have to do this, just give me the paperwork and I’ll do it,” Connor said, giving his friend an out. He didn’t want to get Scott into trouble.

Scott tugged on his ski cap. “I logged it as an anonymous call about violations in an apartment on Langdon but the caller hung up before telling us which one so we’ll have leeway there. I’m helping. How could I not?”

Connor sighed grateful beyond words. “Thank you. Too bad I didn’t think to tell you to log the call as dangerous stuff improperly stored in the basement so we can go down there.”

“We’ll amend it later if we can.” Scott clamped a hand on his shoulder. “Where do you want to start?”

“At the end closest to Wisconsin Avenue and we can work westward,” Connor said, finally feeling in control for the first time since his family was taken from him.

He didn’t let one dead end after another deter him either. He and Scott worked efficiently, taking the buildings from top to bottom, actually filling out the paperwork as they went. For the most part the apartment owners weren’t too unhappy to see them, probably hoping for money off their insurance with a fresh okay from the fire department. However, they found nothing encouraging as far as finding his son. Connor knew he’d be able to pick up on his son’s scent easily but he couldn’t smell anything that even hinted Stephen had been in the buildings. Connor was less certain of Eve and Gene’s scent but nothing even put him in mind of them.

He and Scott said little as they worked. The day seemed to get colder or maybe something was starting to die in him again. Hope was worse than fear, Connor was coming to realize. He could be broken on the altar of hope if he wasn’t careful. Scott was beginning to look at him as if maybe Connor was having a nervous breakdown and had imagined Gene being in the area. Connor half expected his friend to put a halt to this soon.

“This one’s strange,” Scott said looking up at a rather ugly building. That was the eclectic nature of downtown Madison, some of the buildings were old turn of the century works of art with pretty ginger breading and look at me paint jobs and others were simple square boxes with all the charm of rained-on cardboard. This building was off the second type and every last window was wall papered over with something or had dark heavy curtains drawn.”

Not an ounce of light would get into the place and Connor wondered if maybe it was a vampire nest. That would be the last thing he needed to drag Scott into. At a quick glance, which is about all anyone walking down the street would give it, it looked like all the other college apartments until it was really studied. None of the other places had every window blacked out. There was a no vacancy sign tacked onto the apartment complex’s name sign. “Yeah, it is. Let me go in first.”

Connor wished he had brought along a stake. The place was empty with the exception of one older woman in what looked like the rental office. She gave them a hostile look. Connor glanced back at Scott who had been doing all the talking since he was the one who was legally on duty.

“What do you want?” she asked snippily, a little Yorkshire terrier of a woman.

As Scott explained what they wanted to do, Connor faded away to see if he could find the basement entrance. To his surprise, the woman was yapping at Scott, telling him that she was not about to allow an inspection. Connor tried the door but it was locked. He thought he heard a baby’s cry but it wasn’t repeated. He was about to kick it in, consequences be damned when the woman tore out of the office, screeching at him to get away from the door.

“Get out of here, both of you before I call the police!” she screamed, her lined face going livid.

“Come on, Connor,” Scott said. “And don’t be surprised if we’re the ones calling the police, ma’am,” he added to the red-faced woman.

Connor reluctantly followed Scott out. He couldn’t risk putting his friend in trouble by taking down the door with a witness standing there. Before he could think of working out what their next move was going to be, Connor crashed into a woman on the sidewalk. When he caught her to keep her from falling, he saw it was Detective Danforth.

“Do I even want to know what you’re doing here?” she asked him as she gathered herself together.

“Uh...fire safety inspections,” Scott offered, holding up his clipboard.

Danforth shot him a look of disbelief then turned back to Connor. “Did you find him?”

Connor shook his head. “We were just thrown out of there. They wouldn’t let us do the inspection and the basement is locked.”

“They’re not allowed to deny the inspection,” Scott added.

Danforth pursed her lips. “I’m tempted to ignore the fact that you’re really interfering with a police investigation, especially since I don’t have enough to get a warrant to search any of these buildings. However, what they just did, denying you the right to do the inspection...can that get us inside?”

Connor nodded. “We’d need to get the proper paperwork but yes, we can get in there.”

“Then we’d better get moving, get back to our offices and get that paperwork,” Danforth said. “The sooner we do that the better. And I do mean all of us.” She leveled a hard look at Connor.

“I’m not leaving,” Connor said, having no intentions of leaving here, not even in hand cuffs. “They might know we’re on to them.”

“If this is even them,” Danforth reminded him. “It could have been they just have too many fire code violations and panicked.”

“Even so, I’m watching the door. I won’t go in,” Connor said, earnestly, crossing his arms over his chest, in a move that was so much like Angel’s Connor would go apoplectic if someone pointed it out.

“I can’t leave you here and you know it,” Danforth said, looking reluctant to confront him.

“It won’t be necessary, Detective.”

Connor spun around. Buffy stood there, downwind from him. She came over and took his hand. “Buffy?”

“I’ll take him home,” Buffy said to Danforth. “He won’t be causing any trouble.’

Connor started to open his mouth but Buffy froze his protest with a look. He was being an idiot. All he needed to do was make Danforth think he was leaving. “I’ll go with her,” he said, hoping he sounded sincere.

“Time’s wasting,” Scott said. “Buffy will make sure Connor gets home safe.”

“She’d better or she might find herself considering why she didn’t down take you home while she’s sitting at the station,” Danforth said but she went off with Scott.

Connor let Buffy lead him away because Danforth was looking. They kept walking until they were sure Danforth was on her way with Scott. He stopped and squeezed her hand. “You were spying on me.”

“And I’m glad I did. Now, I only caught part of it. You think Stephen is in that apartment?” Buffy turned him around and headed back.

“I don’t know. Something’s definitely wrong there. I thought maybe...” Connor shook his head. “The basement door might be locked because a lot of these places have a locked basement after girls have been raped doing the laundry. I might have heard a mom and her baby doing laundry for all I know.”

“We’ll make sure. You go in first, see if you can do the fireman thing,” Buffy said.  
Connor tried but the woman was waiting in the lobby.

“Get out!” she ordered. “I’m not fooling around. I’m calling the cops.”

Buffy moved up behind Connor before he could inform the lady that she’d be the one going to jail if she kept obstructing. “Hi, I was wondering if I could look at one of the units. This would be so convenient to school and work,” she bubbled.

The woman glared. “Can’t you read? No vacancies. Get out before the cops haul you off, too.”

“But I really like this place,” Buffy protested, trying to get further into the building.

The woman brandished a cell phone. Connor grabbed Buffy’s arm and pulled her out.

“I don’t want to deal with the cops. I’ll watch the front entrance,” he said.

“I’ll take the back. Oh, good, standing up to my butt in snow,” she groused.

“Next time I’ll move to Vegas for you.” He smirked, feeling better for just a nanosecond.

“Then I’d sun burn.” She smiled, kissing his cheek. “They won’t get passed us, Connor.”

“I know,” he said grimly and moved out of easy sight of the harpy in the lobby.

 

X X X

 

Buffy was glad she had gotten to Connor when she had. He looked ready to lose it on Danforth which would not have helped anyone. It frustrated her that she couldn’t just kick down the door and go inside. What if they were hurting his baby in there? What if it was a perfectly normal apartment building with a bitch for a front desk person?

She tucked her cold hands up under her armpits. Even her gloves didn’t seem to be cutting the wind that blew hard off the lakes, making the snow swirl and dance. Buffy hoped Danforth would get back with a warrant soon before she froze to death. At least sun down wasn’t far off. It was probably gray enough for Angel and Spike to make an appearance now.

A clicking noise behind her got Buffy moving. She had heard the sound in the past, the cocking back of a hammer. The bullet winged past her arm so hot, she thought it had hit her. She wasn’t entirely sure if hadn’t. Buffy rolled in the snow, getting to her feet in an explosion of white. It didn’t seem to distract Gene. He took aim at her expertly. Gun fights were so unfair. She couldn’t outrun a bullet.

“So we were right,” she said, hoping to at least distract him a little.

“And so you die for it,” he said then jerked to the side as Connor slammed into him.

Buffy hadn’t even seen Connor cutting between the buildings. She knew how quick he could move but even she hadn’t seen him go that fast. Gene didn’t have time to even try and protect himself. Connor’s fists reduced the man to a pulp before Buffy’s eyes until she pulled him off. Connor hit her with an elbow and she knocked him down, not sure if it was intentional or not. “You’ll kill him!”

“You think I fucking care? He murdered my wife, stole my child, raped my mother. He deserves to die,” Connor raged, his face infused with blood.

Buffy scooped up the gun, seeing blood all over the snow. Gene wasn’t getting back up. “And what happens to your son if you go to jail for killing Gene? He’s not worth it.”

Connor looked up at her with big tear-filled eyes. He picked himself up from the snow and kicked Gene. “Is my baby in that apartment?”

“Connor, he’s unconscious,” Buffy said, dialing Danforth’s number on her cell.

“He has to tell me.” Connor wept, realizing what he had done. If he had beaten Gene into a coma, he might never get his answers. He looked at Buffy. “Your arm’s bleeding.”

“Damn, I thought he missed me.” Buffy looked at the wound. It was shallow. “And no one’s watching the front of the building, Connor. He’s not getting away. I promise you that.”

“The front...damn it,” Connor started running for the front.

Buffy heard him cursing and heard wheels on the slick asphalt. She cast a glance at Gene and figured he wasn’t moving so she tore after Connor. She saw him racing down the street after a cab but he slipped on the icy road, and she was surprised when he didn’t go under the wheels of oncoming traffic. Knowing he’d be back, she ran back to make sure Gene didn’t come to and take off.

Connor came back to her and flopped in the snow. Flecks of red spotted the snow from his bloody knuckles, and she could see blood soaking through the pale blue denim of his jeans. He just wept silently. Buffy sat in the snow next to him.

“You’re hurt.”

“I don’t care. Eve got into a cab.” His face crumbled. “If I hadn’t left the front...”

“I might be dead. He was going to shoot me so thank you,” Buffy said, putting an arm around him. “Did she have the baby with her?

Connor shook his head. “Just a suitcase.”

“Then he might be inside the apartment. Danforth is sending a unit and she’s coming back,” Buffy said. “How bad did you tear up your legs when you fell?”

He shrugged, his eyes going glassy and far away like a china doll’s. He didn’t answer. Buffy couldn’t hike his jeans up far enough to see the damage but she knew that Connor, like her, would heal fast enough. All they had to do was wait for the police. She put in another call to Danforth to tell her that Eve had made it into a cab. They didn’t have long to wait for the police. Connor maintained his doll eyes while the police supervised the paramedics loading Gene into an ambulance while Scott and Danforth went into the building. Several police men went with them, one of them bringing out the harpy. Danforth and Scott came back out fast. Scott’s face looked like a tragedy mask.

“Is the baby...” Buffy trailed off.

“Not there,” Scott said, putting a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“But a lot of evidence he has been,” Danforth said and Connor jumped up.

“I have to get in there,” Connor said, quivering.

“And you know I can’t let you. CSU needs to go over the whole building,” Danforth said. “And we need to talk about the assault.”

“Gene was going to shoot me,” Buffy offered, looping several fingers in Connor’s belt loops and pulled him back down. His wounded legs went out, and he sat down hard. “If Connor hadn’t stopped him, I’d be dead. He shot me once already.” Buffy pointed to her bloody arm.

“I lost control,” Connor whispered, trembling.

“That’s an understatement,” Danforth said then turned to Buffy. “We have other paramedics coming to look at your injuries. Tell me what happened.”

Buffy explained to a very unsurprised Danforth about how she and Connor had disobeyed and had come back to the apartment to stake it out. She outlined how Gene had shot her and what happened afterward. She saw Angel, Spike and Illyria coming toward them as she spoke, the vampires unafraid that the last strains of the setting sun might break through the gloom.

“I could arrest you right now, Mr. Reilly,” Danforth said. “But since you were acting to protect Ms. Summers and I think the D.A. will stress how it’s not in Mr. Becker’s best interests to prosecute, I’m not. You’re not a flight risk. If things change, I know where to find you.”

“I won’t run,” Connor promised her as the paramedics arrived. Connor waved them off. “I just skinned my knees. Check Buffy. She was shot.”

Buffy beckoned to Angel first and whispered something to him. He took Danforth aside. Buffy watched Connor’s face as she tried unsuccessfully to shoo off the paramedics. She knew he was trying to listen to what Angel and Danforth were talking about. After she refused to go to the hospital, she let the paramedics wrap up her arm, watching Connor’s agitation growing. Scott tried to calm his friend down. From Angel’s face, Buffy knew he didn’t like what Danforth was telling him.

“Did they hurt my baby?” Connor finally asked Scott quietly.

“I don’t know, Connor. There’s a lab in the basement,” Scott said. “There were blood draw tubes but we won’t know if they’re from the baby...and that doesn’t mean they’ve hurt him,” he added hurriedly hearing Connor’s anguished moan.

A phone ringing distracted them for a second as Danforth answered it. Her expression brightened. She waved over a patrolman. “A cabbie says he picked up a woman bearing Eve’s description and dropped her off at the airport,” she said to get the patrolman moving then realized Connor heard her since he was back on his feet in a flash, ignoring his pain. “Stay out of it,” she cautioned then got in her own car.

Connor took off toward Angel’s home. The group chased after him, Scott included. Connor stopped, taking hold of his friend’s arm. “Scott, thank you for all your help. You can’t do more. Go home before...”

“Before you get me arrested?” Scott smirked. “Okay, but you don’t do anything stupid, Connor.”

 

“We’ll make sure he doesn’t,” Angel said as Connor took off running again with a limp.  
Scott dropped out of the pack. Buffy paced Connor. “She will arrest you if you show up at the airport.”

“I’m not going to the airport exactly. Eve has to have the baby with her or is going to get him. She’s too invested not too. I don’t think she’s going to fly. I think she’s going to get a rental car,” Connor said. “Dad, you have to get us there.”

“I will but you’re still bleeding,” Angel fretted, eyeing his son’s torn limbs.

“Fuck that. Get me some gauze and new pants. I’ll fix myself up in the car,” Connor said in a tone that said nothing was changing his mind.

No one argued with him. They all sensed this was their last, best chance. 

 


	11. Rescue

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Connor ignored the pain in his legs and the fact his knees and shins looked like raw hamburger. All that mattered was that Eve was heading to the airport, and if she got away, he would never see his son again. He knew this deep down. Eve would either take the child far away or kill him. The one thing she wouldn’t do would be to let herself get caught with the baby. Buffy helped him bandage himself up while Spike argued with Angel in the front seat on the best way to get to Madison’s little airport. Illyria had been sent home to help Giles and Dawn, even though there was nothing for them to do. Illyria was just too eye catching and Madison’s airport too small. Danforth and Zuelsdorff would have to be blind to miss her.

Connor wished he could drive or at least have a fire chief’s siren to help clear out the traffic on the crowded road but he needed to get the bleeding stopped and Angel was driving like his ass was on fire. All Connor had to concentrate on was not flashing Buffy through his boxers as she worked. He watched the rhythm of her practiced hands wrapping gauze over his legs, trying not to think of what failure now meant. They were all armed with pictures of Eve so they could descend on the handful of car rentals once they got to the airport. His nerve endings screamed as he wriggled back into his pants so he could go inside.

That was exactly what they did once they got there, divide and conquer. Unfortunately, in spite of the words ‘kidnapped baby’ getting them past the usual stonewall about giving out information, Connor and Buffy weren’t getting anywhere. Connor looked to where his father and Spike were trying, and they didn’t look very happy. Out of the corner of his eye, Connor saw Danforth heading for the Avis counter where he was. He grabbed Buffy and yanked her around the corner.

“If we get arrested...” she trailed off abruptly as Connor clamped a hand over her mouth. Danforth’s phone was ringing, and he wanted to hear the conversation. Buffy nodded to indicate she understood his intentions.

Connor let her go and they listened in. Danforth’s sharp ‘What?’ made Connor’s heart sink. Something bad had happened. “Get a detail on Ms. Reilly immediately.” He watched over his shoulder as Danforth waved down Zuelsdorff. “We have to get to the hospital. Someone killed Becker. The hospital is sending security to Reilly’s room just in case.”

As Danforth and Zuelsdorff headed off, they passed right by Connor and Buffy. Danforth made eye contact with him but she said nothing. She and her partner just kept going and all things considered, Connor was glad she saw him. He couldn’t be a suspect in killing Gene if he was standing in front of the cops in the airport, actively interfering with the investigation. Connor turned, hearing Angel’s footsteps coming up behind him quickly.

“Silver Durango,” Angel said. “Got the license number.”

“Good.” Connor started for the door. “Because someone just killed Gene at the hospital. If there’s a god, it will have been Eve and not another _Dawl_ member. It would mean that she’s at least still in town.” And my son might still be alive.

“You calling Darla?” Spike asked as they headed for the car. “Make sure the bint didn’t try to off her, too.”

“Calling now,” Connor said, limping. How could skinned legs hurt that much? They were chafing under his jeans in spite of the bandages. He collapsed into the car. Angel peeled out as they were still shutting the doors. Connor wasn’t sure where his father was even driving to, the hospital maybe. Certainly that’s where the detectives went. Connor couldn’t breathe and the longer the phone rang, the harder it was to get air. Finally someone picked up the phone and luckily it was a man’s voice before he blurted out ‘mom.’ “Is Ms. Reilly there. This is her cousin, Connor...oh, no...god...yes, thank you for telling me. Tell her we’ll be there soon.”

“Someone hurt her?” Angel asked, looking in the rear view mirror at Connor.

“Eve tried to. Mom’s okay, more or less. The doctor said Mom pulled out her own IV and tried to take Eve’s eye out with it.” A proud look crossed Connor’s face.

Angel grinned viciously and Spike snorted.

“Figures. Your mom always was a tough bitch,” Spike said, appreciatively.

“Angel, look!” Buffy pointed at a silver Durango that was heading toward a road that Connor knew would take it to Lake Monona where Darla’s body had been dropped, opposite the direction they were traveling.

Even though silver Durangos weren’t uncommon, Angel swung his car around to get a look at the plate number. The way he mashed the pedal down, Connor assumed the numbers matched. It didn’t take long before the Durango started weaving like a drunk through the crowded streets. Obviously Eve knew she was being followed.

“I know I probably shouldn’t ask but shouldn’t we tell Danforth and Zuelsdorff that we know where Eve is?” Buffy said softly, a hesitant look in her eyes.

“No!” Connor and Angel said in one strong voice.

Spike shot her a knowing look over the back of the car seat.

“Just remember, if you kill her and she doesn’t have the baby with her, you may never find him,” Buffy reminded them.

Connor made a disgusted noise. He didn’t want to hear that, even though he knew Buffy was right. He just wanted Eve dead but he couldn’t kill her until he knew where his son was and then...could he murder again in cold blood? He had killed for one child and it nearly destroyed him. He refused to consider any weaknesses now, however.

Connor caught his breath as Angel nearly clipped the front end of a slow moving eighteen wheeler trying to keep up with Eve. She sped down a residential street that paralleled the lake. Eve’s Durango hit some black ice, spun out of control, jumped the curb and slammed into a parked truck. As Angel screamed up to the curb, Eve bailed out of her trashed SUV and ran for the lake, dragging her roll-along luggage behind her.

“Like she can outrun us,” Spike snorted, kicking open the car door.

“Why isn’t she letting go of that luggage?” Buffy slithered out. “She could go faster.”

“She is dumping it.” Angel nodded, watching Eve heave the bag into the lake that seemed nestled into the fresh snow like grey glass.

“Oh god!” Connor forced himself to run faster, ignoring the pain in his legs. “The baby’s in the suitcase! It’s why she has to dump it.” Connor heard his dad bellowing at him that they’d handle Eve but it barely registered before he plunged into the frigid water. The suitcase hadn’t sunk far but a baby wouldn’t know to hold his breath.

Connor tore straight through the fabric even as he tread water, his boots threatening to drag him down. At least the icy water kept him from feeling the agony in his legs. His son was wrapped up in a blanket, unmoving inside the luggage. The water had barely begun to seep in. Connor unzipped his jacket, shoved the infant inside, zipped up and back-stroked to land. He felt Buffy’s hands on him, helping him out of the water.

“Did you get him? Is he okay?” Her eyes were big enough to get lost in.

Connor just shook his head, too dazed to answer. He heard the commotion going on around him as he unzipped his jacket and knew it had to be related to chasing down Eve. “Eve?”

“Ran to a cop, screaming we were trying to kill her. Lucky for her, he put her in his car,” Buffy said. “We didn’t get to her first. I’m sorry. I’ll go tell the cop...do we need an ambulance, Connor?”

“Yeah,” he rasped out, touching his son’s cold cheek. The baby didn’t move but he was breathing. “Oh...god.”

Buffy pulled off her coat. “Wrap him in this, Connor. You’re soaked. You don’t want him to get colder.” Buffy tore off toward the police car.

Connor tucked his son into the coat, tapping his cheeks lightly, trying to rouse the baby. His son’s eyes didn’t open. Connor’s tears splashed down on the baby’s tiny face and he tried to force himself to concentrate on the boy’s strong heart beat and steady breathing. Eve had probably doped the boy to keep him quiet inside the luggage, but what if bouncing around inside it had brain damaged him? What if the _Dawl_ had done horrible experiments? Connor shook so violently that he could barely hold onto his son, and he didn’t know if it was from fear or the fact he was sitting in the snow drenched to the skin or both.

A scream dragged Connor’s attention away from his baby. The police officer was still trying to control Angel and Spike, thinking they were the ones he should be arresting and putting in his car. Buffy was screaming that Eve had tried to drown a baby, and that they needed an ambulance but the cry that had gotten Connor’s attention was Angel bellowing that Eve was escaping. Connor realized that the officer had left the back door to his car open, not realizing the woman was the criminal. Eve took full advantage of the policeman’s distraction to escape.

The officer took off after her, yelling at Buffy, Spike and Angel to stay where they were. Connor could hear the man calling for both back up and an ambulance. Angel charged away so fast Connor barely saw him move. He wanted to get up and help but his clothing was beginning to ice over and his first concern had to be his son.

“Buffy! Spike!” Connor called, seeing red and blue lights flashing up the street. “Come get him. I can’t get him warm. Put him in the car, out of the wind.”

Buffy raced over and scooped the baby out of his arms. Her eyes widened when she saw how limp the infant was.

“I think Eve drugged him,” Connor said as Spike helped him to his feet. “Eve...”

“Your dad is handling it,” Spike whispered, walking him to the car.

Connor nodded. He knew this would be done tonight. Unless Eve somehow eluded Angel, she would never see another dawn. That didn’t bother him in the least. So he wouldn’t soak the back seat, Connor sat on one of the blankets Angel usually used for day travel. They wrapped Stephen in another blanket, and Buffy cradled him while Spike explained to the newly arrived police what was happening. Connor saw Angel walking toward the car while Spike talked.

“I’m not sure Spike should be the one talking to the cops. The things that come out of his mouth sometimes...” Buffy trailed off, glancing toward her former lover.

“It’ll be okay. Dad’s back...good. If the cops see him here then they won’t think he had anything to do with whatever happened to Eve,” Connor said, his teeth chattering. “How is he?”

Buffy looked at the baby in her arms. “I think he’s warming up. He’s so beautiful, Connor.” She stroked the infant’s dark hair then tucked the blanket tighter around him.

Connor’s quivering lips pulled into a smile. He hadn’t even thought of that, too concerned with the boy’s safety to even take that kind of look at him. “He is.” He looked over Buffy’s shoulder as Angel leaned into the door. To his surprise, he could smell blood. Connor hadn’t thought that Angel would drink Eve down. Connor met Angel’s eyes.

“She won’t bother our family again,” Angel said simply, glancing back at the cops who Spike had finally convinced to go assist their comrade in finding Eve. “The baby?”

“We’re hoping he’s just drugged,” Buffy said, shifting him in her arms. As little as he was, he had gotten surprisingly heavy.

Angel reached out and stroked his grandson’s soft cheek as if making sure he was real then straightened up, turning as the ambulance arrived. Connor watched numbly as the paramedics worked on his son and let them take both him and Stephen into the back of the ambulance. He got out that he thought the baby was drugged. He heard the words ‘he’s in shock’ and his heart froze, fearing for his son. It wasn’t until they tried to force him down on the gurney that he realized the paramedics meant him. They let Angel climb into the ambulance with him and hold the baby while they worked to warm up Connor. The only thing that registered as the ambulance rocketed on was the tender way his father was gazing at the baby, an expression he had never seen before on Angel’s face. It was the only thing in the world that mattered now. His family was together again. Connor let go of his pain, stopped fighting and just fell into darkness.

 

X X X

 

“The doctors said he’ll be fine,” Connor said, cradling his son in his arms as he sat beside his mother’s bedside. The baby was greedily sucking down a bottle of milk. “The medication they drugged him with wore off, and he checks out otherwise. It looks like they were sticking him for blood but whatever else the _Dawl_ and Eve were going to do to him, they didn’t get the chance.”

Darla, looking a little worse for wear after her tussle with Eve, reached over and stroked the top of Stephan’s head as he guzzled the formula. Dark finger marks stood out on Darla’s slender wrists from where Eve had apparently tried to hold her down while she was doing whatever it was she had tried. “Still has his appetite, the poor little thing. They put him in the luggage?” she asked in horror.

“Yes,” Angel said gruffly and Buffy slipped an arm around him.

“And Eve?” Darla looked over at Angel as the vampire leaned into Buffy’s embrace.

He shook his head then glanced around as if expecting Darla’s new room to be bugged. “I’ll tell you later.”

“I have...” Connor stopped abruptly, holding his son tighter. “Danforth convinced the hospital to let me hold him for a little while.” Tears shimmered in his eyes. “They have to do the blood tests before they’ll believe he’s really mine. They want me to bring him right back to neonatal immediately.”

“You’ll get to take the little platelet home, kid,” Spike said, leaning against the door, guarding it against any nurse who might want to cut the visit short.

“Danforth said they’re going to rush the DNA testing through,” Buffy put in encouragingly.

“Babies need to be held,” Darla said, an angry flash in her dark eyes. “I know the nurses will do it but it’s not the same. He needs to finally go home.”

“He will,” Connor said, his voice struggling not to break. “I just can’t...I can’t leave him here unguarded. It’s not fair. He needs to be with me.”

“He’ll go home,” Darla said softly. “Do you know what today is, Connor? You couldn’t have gotten a better present.”

Connor just stared at his mother, confused.

Angel went over and patted Connor on the shoulder then ran a finger over his grandson’s hand which tightened on the bottle as if the baby expected him to steal it. “Happy birthday, son.”

Connor blinked his eyes then smiled. “It is my birthday, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it is, Happy birthday, Connor,” Darla said, and Buffy and Spike echoed it.

Connor shook his head as if trying to clear the storm clouds in his eyes. The tears didn’t quite come. He pulled the empty bottle away from Stephan and the baby shrieked unhappily. “I’m sorry little guy but it’s all gone.” He put the baby against his shoulder, patting his back but it didn’t mollify the infant.

“Connor, we’re twenty minutes past when they wanted the baby back,” Buffy said apologetically. Her lips quivered a bit not wanting to see the baby to go back to the neonatal unit either.

Connor nodded. “I know, and he needs another bottle. Who knows the last time he was fed?” Stephan kept up his eardrum busting squalls.

“I’ll get the nurse to take me to look in on him later,” Darla said, smiling at him. “Are you okay, son?”

“I’ll be fine. They aren’t keeping me here since I recovered from being in shock,” Connor said wryly. “I’ll be back later. I need...I don’t even know what I need.”

“Sleep,” Angel said, guiding Connor toward the door as Spike moved away from it.

“Buffy,” Darla said, holding out a hand. “Stay for a moment, please. I want to talk to you.” Her eyes flicked to the men. “Alone.”

Angel glanced over at Buffy who nodded stiffly. He ushered Connor and the baby out. Spike was smart enough to make himself scarce, immediately. Buffy crossed her arms, lounging in the doorway. She gave Darla a hard look, daring her to speak.

“You’re upset,” Darla said.

“What makes you think so,” Buffy said dismissively.

“I’ve been around for three hundred years, give or take a few breaks. I know you’re worried about there being something between me and Angel,” Darla said, cutting to the chase.

Buffy’s mouth tightened. “There is something between you.”

Darla shook her head, her blond hair spilling over his face. “Not like you think. The only thing left between us is decades of ugly history and one damaged young man who needs our support. At best, Angel and I might be friends but there’s...” Darla’s eyes dimmed. “There’s so much history it’s smothering.”

“And yet he’s here every day,” Buffy said, unwilling to let that pass.

“Because he thinks I need him, because no matter what else he is, Angel is caring,” Darla said, “And he has things to make right with our son. This is just one step in that healing. I’m not asking you to like me, Buffy. I have no right to expect that. I did, after all, try to kill your mother and blame Angel for it.” Darla’s face darkened. “And Angel made his choice that night. He killed me. No matter what happened once I was brought back, I know he’s made a choice, and I think he’s happy with the one he made...if you let him be.”

Buffy mulled that over trying to determine if it was the truth or not. “Connor said you didn’t want Angel back.”

“My son’s right.” Darla pressed into the bedding, looking exhausted. “It would be nice to start again as unentangled as I can get. That won’t happen if I wanted Angel back and soon we would probably hate each other very much. No, I’m happy with just being his friend. I’ve a son and grandson to keep me very busy. I’m looking forward to time without having to worry about pleasing a man. I spent three hundred years being used by and using men. I’d like time to just be me.”

Buffy managed a faint smile. “I can understand that. I shouldn’t keep them waiting any longer.”

Darla nodded and Buffy left without another word. The Slayer wasn’t surprised all three men were right outside the door, snooping with that super hearing of theirs. She eyed them sourly.

“I think we need to get going,” she said.

“Don’t want to,” Connor said petulantly but started on his way to return his son.

“We’ll all be back later,” Angel promised him

.  
“I’ll stay,” Spike said. “You need to be with your kid, Peaches. I’ll look after the little platelet, make sure nothing comes for him.”

Connor looked at him in surprise. “Are you sure?”

Spike smirked. “Sure. Uncle Spike’s got a lot of spoiling to get started on.” He played with one of the baby’s curls.

Connor canted his eyes over at Angel. “He means that, doesn’t he?”

Angel sighed. “Yes. You might as well not even argue he’s not an uncle.”

Spike looked offended that anyone would think he wasn’t family.

“I appreciate you looking out for him, Spike,” Connor said then gave the vampire a stern look. “And no smoking in the house once he gets home.”

Spike looked pained. “Of course.”

Connor very reluctantly turned his son back over to the nurses, and this time he did weep. Angel and Buffy led him out of the hospital. Connor collapsed on the back seat of the car on the damp blankets. He was wearing nothing but hospital scrubs and paper slippers over his feet, his soaked clothing in a bag.

“You need to get a hot shower and get into bed when we get home,” Buffy said. “And after you get a few hours sleep, Connor, we’ll come back. Maybe the tests will be ready then.”

“Hope so...” Connor murmured. “I know the cops didn’t bug the car, Dad. What did you do to Eve?”

“Tossed her carcass into a dumpster. I’ll feel bad if some trash collector finds her but hopefully I have enough trash tossed over her, she’ll never be found,” Angel said almost casually as he merged with traffic.

“But you...I didn’t think you’d want to taste her,” Connor said distastefully and Buffy’s head snapped around, her eyes fastening on Angel.

“I didn’t intend to. I was going to snap her neck then I remembered Hamilton’s blood. I wanted to taste something like that again,” he admitted uncomfortably. “Angelus...loved it. She might be human now but she started out as a child of the Senior Partners. Sadly she didn’t have Hamilton’s power but it was different than human, stronger. Lucky for me there was a bottle of Clorox in the trash that had a little left in it, enough to screw up any DNA I might have left on her neck since they tried to take mine as part of the investigation.”

“I’m still worried about those tests,” Buffy said. “What if your DNA isn’t quite...human, Angel?”

“I’m more worried for me than him,” Connor said. “I mean the demon’s inside him, me, it’s a part of me.”

“They haven’t said anything yet. I’m hoping this will be the end of it,” Angel said. “And I’m not sorry I killed her.” He directed that to Buffy. Connor knew that his father was well aware he wouldn’t care if Eve died.

Buffy glanced over the seat at Connor. “She put a baby in a suitcase and tried to drown him. I’m not going to be upset that you did what you had to.”

No one else said anything else until they got home. Dawn and Giles were waiting for them with caffeine-widened, tired eyes. Dawn came over and hugged Connor.

“How is he?” she asked.

“He’s fine but he has to stay at the hospital,” Connor replied, trying not to think about it.

“And Eve?” Giles said, his voice hard.  
“Dead,” Angel said.

Giles nodded then handed Angel an envelope. “That was slipped into the mail. It wasn’t stamped so she or one of the _Dawl_ put it in your mail box. It’s a threat. They were planning on...” Giles looked over at Connor and broke off.

“Tell me,” he insisted. “They can’t do it anymore.”

“The _Dawl_ wanted to see how well the baby healed. Eve planned on sending him back to you...in pieces,” Giles replied bluntly.

Connor thought he was prepared for anything. Angel caught him before his legs went out from under him. Buffy took his hand.

“I’ll call Spike and let him know,” she said. “Just in case the _Dawl_ decide they want to try and get the baby themselves.”

Connor just bobbed his head, unable to speak.

“Give that letter to Danforth so she knows,” Angel said to Giles, guiding Connor for the stairs.

“I will. I’m glad your son is safe, Connor,” the older man said.

“Thank you,” Connor whispered.

He let Angel help him upstairs. The vampire started the shower for him. His dad clamped his hands on his shoulders. “You going to be all right, Connor?”

Connor nodded, taking in a ragged breath. Angel hugged him tightly.

“It’ll be all right now, son, I promise. You get warmed up better and get into bed. And you let us worry about the _Dawl._ I think we can convince them that it’s in their best interest to never bother us again.”

Connor hugged Angel back, pressing his face against his father’s shoulder. “Thank you, Dad.”

“Nothing is going to hurt my grandson again if I have anything to say about it.”

The grim look on Angel’s face left no doubts of that in Connor’s mind. After his father left, Connor let the steaming water stream over him, heating him up. He tumbled into bed thinking he’d be awake all night imagining the horrible things the _Dawl_ had planned for his baby but sleep was waiting for him with open arms.  
 


	12. Making a Home

CHAPTER TWELVE

“He’s going to look like his mom, lucky child. One pale, sickly bean pole that needs stuck out in the sun to get some color is more than enough,” Scott said, tickling Stephen under his chin. The baby blew spit bubbles at the firefighter.

“You’re not amusing.” Connor glared but his friend paid him no mind.

Monisha scooped the infant out of Scott’s arms for a quick snuggle. “You’re sweet enough to eat, little guy. Come on, Scott, we have to get back to work.” She reluctantly started to turn Stephen over to his father but Buffy intercepted the child.

“When are you going to stop slacking and come back to work?” Scott smirked at his friend.

Connor looked over at Darla. Angel was helping her out of her wheelchair and onto the couch. “I have another few weeks on the Family Leave Act. By then, Darla will be on her feet so I’ll be a little less like the living dead from having to help her. But I still won’t be sleeping any yet, will I, son? So living dead it will be, at least for a few months.” He waved at his son who was peeking at him over Buffy’s shoulder. “But Angel and Darla will be helping with the baby, Spike, too, so once Darla’s more mobile, I can come back.”

“There’s no rush,” Monisha assured him. “But we miss you.”

“Thanks.” Connor walked his friends to the door. When he got back, Stephen was in Giles’s arms, and the Watcher was making goo-goo noises at him.

Illyria was watching intently. She cocked her head to the side then asked, “What is the meaning of talking nonsense to infants?”

“I think babies emit pheromones that turn adults into idiots,” Connor said, not prepared for the staid Watcher to turn into a baby-talking fool.

“He likes it,” Giles assured them as Dawn stole the baby.

“I’m just glad you both got to come home,” Buffy said, looking at Darla. Both Connor and Angel turned to Buffy in surprise that she was being civil. “I hate hospitals.” She paused, then went on, glancing between the men and Darla. “ I know I said I was going to go back home but I think, if you want me to, Darla, boys, I can stay around. I’ll help with the baby and getting Darla to and from physical therapy and stuff like that if Connor can’t do it.”

Darla simply smiled softly. Connor knew his mother was well aware of that it was probably costing Buffy to make the decision to set aside her differences and help. “Thank you. Is there room here for all of us?”

“There’s room for all of us and then some,” Angel said as he took Stephen from Dawn. “I think it’s a good idea to stay here until you’re better, Darla. I have a crib set up for Stephen and then when you’re a little better, maybe you can go to Connor’s...or if he doesn’t want to go back there, you can stay here until you find a new house. And maybe Buffy and Giles would give some consideration to all the weirdness that happens in Wisconsin. It might not have a hellmouth but it does have strange energies. Madison is a nice place to move to.” Angel added that directly to Buffy as Spike snaked the baby away.

Connor watched Buffy color ruby and Dawn’s eyes lit up. It might not be a marriage proposal but from the ladies’ reactions it was almost as good as one. Buffy hugged Angel quickly then stepped back as if embarrassed.

“I hope that they do consider it,” Darla said, glancing over at Giles with a smile. “I’ve been enjoying my talks with Rupert.”

“And I’ve found your additions to the Watchers’ journals to be very interesting...in the darkest sense of the word,” Giles said, answering Connor’s unasked question of the past few days; what exactly Giles and Darla talked about during the Watcher’s turns at the hospital, making sure no one from the _Dawl_ came for either Darla or the baby.

A high-pitched squeal from Stephen caught Connor’s attention. His son was kicking and making delighted sounding noises at Angel and Spike who had taken up Giles’ goo-gooing at the baby. Both vampires were grinning full-fanged and golden-eyed at Stephen.

“Don’t look at him with those horrible faces!” Connor ordered, stamping a foot at the vampires.

“The little platelet loves it,” Spike said, bouncing the baby in his arms.

Angel leaned over closer to Stephen who patted his grandfather’s head ridges. “Besides, this was your favorite face when you were his age. It was the only way I could make you stop screaming. You’d be fed, changed and not sleepy but still making as much noise as you possible could. You wouldn’t even quiet for Lorne’s lullabies but if I showed you this face, you’d get all happy.”

“Well, now I’m disturbed.” Connor shuddered.

Dawn patted his arm. “So am I.”

“He’s a little wet,” Spike said. “Time to go back to Daddy.”

“I don’t think so,” Connor said. “You want to hold him, you get to help do the dirty work, too.”

“I’ll do it,” Angel offered, taking his grandson from Spike. “Wet’s not so bad. It’s the other thing that smells bad enough to gag a corpse.”

“You’d know.” Connor smirked at Angel, going to get the diaper bag for him.

“Ignore your father,” Angel told Stephen as he cuddled the baby. “He’s got a smart mouth but you’re not going to be like that when you grow up.”

“Uh, huh,” Connor said, laying the changing mat on the table and left Angel to it. “I just wish I knew what the _Dawl_ wanted with him or Mom. I’m always going to be looking around corners, thinking they’re coming back for him.”

“They have slunk away,” Illyria replied, almost looking disappointed to miss out on a fight.

“I think she might be right, Connor. I certainly hope so. We’ve found three more places that might have been _Dawl_ laboratories,” Giles said, “but all of them have been cleared out. The only link we have left are the few people the police arrested at the apartment at Langdon and it’s not as if we’ll be allowed to question them. We may never know their plans for Darla or the baby.”

Connor let out a pent up breath. “I know but it doesn’t make it any easier.”

“Angel, you might want to put a diaper in front of Stephen,” Darla called, watching Angel changing the diaper.

“What?” Angel glanced over at her as he wadded up the wet diaper and put it in the garbage. He leaned over his grandson, going for the wipes.

“Cover him up while you...” Darla didn’t get her sentence out before Stephen made like a firehose all over Angel’s neck and shirt. “He likes to do that.”

Spike, Giles, and Connor nearly needed to be picked up off the floor from laughing too hard. Angel just grimaced and stripped off his shirt then used the wipes on himself.

Connor went over and took over the cleaning and diapering. “That’s a good boy. Every time you do that to granddaddy, I’ll put an extra dollar in your college fund.”

Angel eyed him sourly. “Quit warping your son’s brain.”

Connor just laughed again and finished diapering Stephen. The doorbell rang and he glanced toward the door, wondering who it could be. His entire fire company had already been over and Larissa and her family were heading back home, making plans for Stephen’s baptism. He didn’t have the heart to tell her that Thalia had dropped out of the Greek Orthodox church but decided it wouldn’t hurt Stephan to be baptized. Buffy went to answer the door for him. Stephen started fussing as Connor picked him up.

“Sounds like bottle time,” Dawn said and headed into the kitchen to prepare one for him.

Connor’s eyes widened when Buffy came back with Danforth. “Hello, detective. Have you heard anything about Eve?” he asked worriedly. The last thing he needed was for Eve’s body to be found and traced back to Angel. She shook her head, her eyes on the half-naked Angel. “I wish I could say yes. I know you won’t rest easy until she’s found but we’ve shared her description with several crime stopper programs so we’ll see if she turns up. I was just stopping by to see how the baby was doing now that you have him home and to pass on some news.”

Connor shifted his son in his arms as he continued to fuss. “He’s just fine, making up for not getting any attention in the days he was missing. He’s seeing so many faces so fast, he’s probably motion sick. You said there’s news?”

Danforth nodded. “And sadly not good news, one of the people from the Langdon apartment killed the other two gentlemen we arrested there today in prison and then himself. The only person left is the woman from the lobby but it doesn’t appear that she knew much about what went on in the basement. It’s driven us to a dead end I’m afraid. What little I can tell you about the investigation is that from some of the notes recovered, they believed in a merger of science and magic, as insane as that sounds. I believe that they were planning experiments on both your son and your cousin. They seemed to think you were a vampire, Ms. Reilly.” The Detective gave Darla a curious look.

Darla smiled. “Well, I’m willing to go out into the sun if it sets your mind at ease.”

Danforth laughed. “That won’t be necessary. They must have been a cult of some sort, and I wish I could say you’re safe from them now. We just don’t know how many of them there were and where they might have gotten off to. We’ll have a squad car doing drive bys here for a few weeks just in case.”

“Thank you,” Connor said, disheartened that there was now absolutely no chance of finding out what the _Dawl_ had wanted. “We appreciate the effort. If there’s anything more we can do for you...”

“I’ll let you know,” Danforth said, her eyes flicking back over at Angel.

“Misadventures with diapering,” Connor explained, waving at Angel’s chest.

Danforth smiled. “I understand. I have a boy of my own.” She stroked Stephen’s little hand. He reached out and took her finger. “He’s adorable, all those ringlets.”

“I think he’s going to look like his mother,” Connor said, a little sadly at the remembrance of Thalia.

“I wish we could have found him for you faster,” Danforth said, apologetically.

“He’s home now. That’s what counts,” Connor replied, seeing Dawn coming back with the bottle. He surrendered the infant to Darla, and Dawn handed her the bottle.

“Well, I won’t take up any more of your time,” Danforth said. “If we learn anything, I’ll be in touch.”

“Thank you,” Connor said and Buffy showed Danforth back out. Connor watched Darla feeding his son, wondering briefly what kind of mother she would have been if she had the chance. Given she had been an evil vampire at the time, it was probably best not to dwell on it. He wondered also what Holtz had done to nourish him as an infant in that terrible hell. He decided he didn’t want to know.

After burping Stephen, he took the baby upstairs to put him to bed. The room would be repainted as a nursery before he knew it, Connor had no doubt. Angel already had it stocked with stuffed animals and a stack of baby books. Connor looked at the slumbering infant then kissed his head, his silky hair soft under his lips. “I’m sorry you’ll never get to know your mother, little one. And I pray that you have just lived through the worst days you’ll ever see and that there’s nothing but good waiting for you from here out.” Connor felt his eyes tear up, and his throat swell. “I miss your mom so much,” he whispered. “But I’ll tell you all about her, every day. And you’re going to get to have something I never did. You’re going to get to know my parents, and I think now...they’ll be good for you.”

Connor felt someone coming up behind him. He turned and saw Angel carrying a small cd player. His father put it on the dresser. “Now what, Dad?” Connor tried to wipe away his tears without waking up Stephen.

Angel held up some cd’s, _Beethoven for Babies, Sleepy Baby_ , and _the Mozart Effect for Children._ “I read that classical music makes babies smarter. They suggested playing it while they sleep. I got Thalia one, _Mozart Before You were Born_.”

Connor nodded as Angel put on the Beethoven cd softly. “She played it with speakers over her belly, looked silly as hell but she swore he’d quit kicking around whenever she did. You’re going to spoil him.”

Angel came over, putting an arm around his son. “That’s what grandfathers are for.” He caressed Stephen’s head. The baby murmured. “He’s beautiful, son.”

“I know.” Connor laid his son in the crib. “Are you really okay with Mom being here?”

Angel patted Connor’s back. “Yes, and I honestly believe Buffy is, too. I think we’ve got that worked out, or at least I hope so. And you are welcome to stay here, Connor, for as long as you need to. I’m perfectly content to see this being Stephen’s room until he’s eighteen.” Angel smiled at him.

“Somehow I believe that.” Connor smiled back. “For now...we need to be here.”

“I’m glad. Come on, Spike’s working on some poetry for the baby. You don’t want to miss this.”

 

“I’m terrified.” Connor smiled again as Angel headed for the stairs. He took a long look at his slumbering son, wondering if he ever looked that content. He almost felt that content now, he though as he turned out the light, leaving Stephen to the gentle strains of Beethoven.


End file.
